What do the 2005 and 2015 F4 films have in common? Well, the answer is...
EVERYONE HATES THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The question is if you put a gun to someone's head and asked them which one they would rather sit through, what would the answer be? Other than "just shoot me".
MR. FANTASTIC: WHO WAS BETTER?
IN THE CASE OF FANTASTIC FOUR: Ioan Gruffadd can't act. I thought that maybe it was because the movie didn't give him much to do, but after watching San Andreas... this man shouldn't work in Hollywood. So what do I think of his performance in the movie? He was snubbed for the awards that year..... OF COURSE NOT. HE SUCKS!
IN THE CASE OF FANT4STIC: I think i'm one of the few people who's not happy that Fant4stic bombed. This is because now the great actors will probably never be wanted in Hollywood again (except for Jamie Bell for when Peter Jackson makes Tintin II). Anyway, I really liked Miles Teller as a young Reed Richards. He was very charasmatic as Reed Richards. I also liked his scenes with Ben Grimm (That's right. All two of them).
WINNER:
FANT4STIC
THE INVISABLE WOMAN: WHO WAS BETTER?
IN THE CASE OF FANTASTIC FOUR: Remember when I said that Ioan Gruffadd can't act. That's nothing compared to Jessica Alba. It's commen knowledge by now that Alba can't act. So let's cast her as a strong femlae character what could go wrong? EVERYTHING! Alba is a sex symbol and nothing else. Oh, and let's have a stupid running gag where she keeps getting naked. GET IT? BECAUSE SHE'S THE INVISABLE WOMAN AND SHE'S BEING PLAYED BY A SEX SYMBOL WHO CAN'T ACT!
IN THE CASE OF FANT4STIC: I'm not gonna lie, I really think Kate Mara is a great actress. I think she could have been a great Invisable Woman if she had anything to do. She does a good job, but she's got nothing to work with. Oh well, it could be worse. At least she went with them on the mission. OH WAIT, SHE DIDN'T. Oh well, at least she tried, I just wish she had more to do.
WINNER:
FANT4STIC (NOT THAT SHE NEEDED TO TRY)
P.S. IF ANYONE SAYS ALBA DID A BETTER JOB BECAUSE SHE'S HOTTER...
BESIDES SHE'S NOT.
THE HUMAN TORCH: WHO WAS BETTER?
IN THE CASE OF FANTASTIC FOUR: With films like The Winter Soldier and Snowpiercer, it's hard to remember that Chris Evans used to be a comedic actor. Anyway, (unlike Gruffadd & Alba) Evans does a great job as Johnny Storm. He has some laugh-out-loud moments, and he even takes jokes thatcould have awful and makes them work. His scenes with Ben Grimm are also some of the few bright spots of the TIm Story films.
IN THE CASE OF FANT4STIC: Like Mara, I really like Michael B. Jordan as an actor and I think he did good as he could. But also like Mara, he didn't have much written for him. Which is a shame because there's a potentially great story arc in this. An arc where he is being told to do something with his life and feel like he finally is when he gets his powers (He even hugs Reed for abandoning them). Unfortunatly, that arc gets tossed aside. Oh well. At least Jordan did a decent job.
WINNER:
FANTASTIC FOUR (2005)
THE THING: WHO WAS BETTER?
IN THE CASE OF FANTASTIC FOUR: The suit looks faker that the green lava in the reboot. I'm just getting it out of the way. Anyway, Michael Chiklis is so good as The Thing that he makes you forget about the incredibly cheap suit. His scenes with Johnny (as I mentioned before) are the few bright spots in the movie. Also, like Evans,he takes jokes that could be awful and makes them work. Finally, he's incredibly sympathetic. As he causes strange looks from random people and the other three look exactly the same. This is best shown in the scene where he tells Sue "You have no idea what I'd give to be invisable".
IN THE CASE OF FANT4STIC: This was a controversial casting because Jamie Bell is a really skinny guy playing a huge rock monster (meaning he was probably cast because of MoCap work from Tintin). Also, due to the great performance by Chiklis, Bell had some petty big shorts to fill (I'm so sorry). But I have to say, Bell did just as good a performance as Chiklis. First of all, the design and effects on the character has amazing. Second, the character was just as sympathetic (including the jet scene with Reed), and most of his scenes were heartbreaking. Kind of like Robert DeNiro as The Creation in Frankenstien.
WINNER:
IT'S A TIE!
DOCTOR DOOM: WHO WAS BETTER?
IN THE CASE OF FANTASTIC FOUR: Doom is an idiot. Also, the actor who plays him didn't even try.
IN THE CASE OF FANT4STIC: Doom is an idiot. Also, his design is stupid.
WINNER:
NEITHER!
"STORY": WHICH WAS BETTER?
IN THE CASE OF FANTASTIC FOUR: The story isn't that great. The First Act: They get their powers. The Third Act: It's Doom vs. the Four. The Second Act: NOTHING! Okay, that's not entirely true. But it's pretty close. In this act, Doom is evil... and that's it. Reed studies their powers... and that's it. Instead of fighting crime, the movie turns into A STIMCOM! Complete with unfunny bathroom and sex jokes (Although, the shaving cream joke made me laugh). However, the ending fight (as short as it is) is kinda cool.
IN THE CASE OF FANT4STIC: The First Act: They build a machine and get powers. The Third Act: Reed brings back Victor and they fight him. The Second Act: THERE IS NO SECOND ACT! At least, the other film had one. As soon as they get their powers, it feels like some guy accidentally told the editor that the film had to be finished by next week and the editor went "YOU WANT IT DONE BY WHEN!?!? Okay, let me just cut out these action scenes and these scenes with Doom and these scenes with character delopment and I'll be done by tomorrow morning!" I'll say this, the ending fight is decent. (What is with these movies that have no storey but a cool end fight?)
WINNER: FANTASTIC FOUR (BUT NOT BY MUCH)
AND THE BEST F4 MOVIE IS...
THE INCREDIBLES!!
ANYWAY, THAT WAS FUN, AND NOW THAT I'M FINALLY DONE MAKING THESE F4 ARTICLES, I HAVE TO GO THINK OF SOMETHING TO MAKE FAN FIC & EDITORIALS ABOUT WHILE I GO JUMP OUT A WINDOW! BYE!!!!!!!!!