I recently started re-reading SPAWN (again) which of course led to re-watching the SPAWN film (again) which in turn led to disappointment (AGAIN)! The book had such depth… such violence… such interesting characters… such momentum… such suspense! The film… well, it has… um… errr…. John Leguizamo in a fat suit, horrible special effects, Cogliostro without a beard, Al Simmons “lite” and a weak storyline.
We now stand before a monumental task and we stand with one question in mind: “Can Spawn’s awesomeness ever really be captured on the Big Screen?”
Hopefully we will find out some day that the answer is: “yes” but until then here is my dream for making it work.
First; THE RULES
• This will need to be at least a trilogy. For those of you who have read Spawn you know that the storyline for the book is far more intricate than Star Wars. (and we are still getting films from that classic).
• Go BIG or go home. One of the biggest frustrations with the original film was its simplicity. (We need ALL of the characters! ALL the powers! ALL the cape!!!)
• Spawn MUST have a Killer Soundtrack! (The original was fun with all of its fun duets… but this one has to be well rounded… moody and hardcore)
Second; THE CHARACTERS
MAIN CHARACTERS
The Leading man
Idris Elba is the perfect guy to play Al Simmons. He has attitude, he looks believable as a soldier (i.e. The Losers), he is a phenomenal Actor all the way around.
SIDENOTE: I want a costume that matches the book. The cape can be tattered and torn but the suit should be slick. I didn’t mind the organic look of the old film’s costume but this is my film and I want it the way it was in the book!
SIDENOTE 2: Spawn’s face in the original was (for lack of a better term) shiny and fake. Spawn should be more like a decomposing body… dry with spots of goo. Ok, I admit I’m having a hard time explaining this but if you look at the difference in the pictures hopefully you will understand. P.S. – I WANT the green eye slits whether he has the mask on or off!!!!!
The Mentor
Sam Elliot would be the perfect Cogliostro. He has played the Shady Mentor role numerous times in the past but I can’t think of anyone else that I would have fill Cog’s shoes.
THE ROGUE’S GALLERY
Spawn faces numerous beasts, demons, gangsters, etc… along his journey for truth. Here are my picks for the actors (and voices) to fill those roles.
Malbolgia, the demon that made the deal with Al for his soul. I’ve always heard this voice as John Hurt as I read the books. Don’t ask why… I just think it’s more interesting for the prominent evil character to be intelligent sounding rather than animalistic.
Jason Wynn has to be strong but not in perfect shape, kind of dark yet respectable, as well as manipulative to the core. Who else could pull this off other than the man we’ve come to know as “The Comedian”… Jeffrey Dean Morgan.
I am well aware of the red tape that would have to be cut to insert Chapel into the Spawn Franchise but I don’t care. The Chapel storyline in the early issues of Spawn (as well as his appearance in the HBO show) are some of the greatest moments in Spawn’s existence. Besides, who isn’t dying to see Kevin Grevioux in the skull make up threatening poor Al Simmons’ life?
Jessica Priest was brought into the Spawn universe to explain away the afore mentioned red tape between Spawn creator Todd Mcfarlane and Chapel creator Rob Liefeld. I see Kirsten Stewart doing a great job with this sadistic character who at her heart is all about herself.
The creepy fat Child Murderer that first appeared in issue #5. Billy Kincaid has to both appear appealing to kids and extremely deviant to those with less innocent understandings of the world. I feel that way about Ethan Suplee every time I see him. Ewww.
As stated above Spawn runs into some problems with gangsters. In particular, a Mob Boss known as Tony Twist. Can anyone find a better Tony Twist than Vincent Pastore? I think not!
THE CLOWN! So creepy… so evil… so homicidal… so gross… so Wayne Knight. Come on guys! You know it’s true! He is creeping you out right now, isn’t he? And best of all; no fat suit required!
The Freak is an Evil twisted manipulator of Spawn when they first meet. He can appear as both the victim and advisory. As far as Bruce Spence… if you had to read this for a casting explanation you really need to look at the picture again.
Overtkill. The cybernetic assassin employed by Tony Twist to deal with Spawn. I must admit that I struggled with this character. He’s supposed to be BIG as a house but I really wanted real actors wherever possible (because so many characters would need to be cgi). Even though Michael Chiklis is absolutely perfect perfect for the part I needed to be able to justify his size. So, I’ve decided on using “reverse Hobbit” filming. You know, the old camera tricks they used to make the Hobbits look so small in Lord of the Rings but reversed… to make Chiklis look HUGE!
The Curse was one of my favorite Spawn antagonists. He just looks so freaking cool! But he’s also incredibly mentally disturbed. So, what actor best suits mentally disturbed? Of course the guy who played both Rorshack (crazy!) and Freddy Krueger (disturbed); Jackie Earle Haley!
We have now moved on to the complete CGI element of our Rogue’s Gallery. There are some villains that Spawn faces that cannot be done without a lot of movie magic. So, here they are…
The Clown’s alter ego is of course on the top of this list. He is a Demon… a BIG demon! He needs much more special effect glory than he received in the original Spawn film. So, between the computer glory and the distorted voice of Wayne Knight… I think we have a winner!
The Tremor is somewhat of a small character but important none the less. He originated as a human that Tony Twist tried to make into a killing machine. This guy is just disturbing looking. Is there any doubt that Ron Pearlman would breathe life into this computer generated monster with his gruff and awesome voice?
Cygor; King Kong meets the Terminator… has there ever been a better CGI candidate than that? Though his dialogue is mostly growls and snarls I couldn’t think of anyone else to voice this monster other than Michael Clarke Duncan.
THE HEAVENLY ELEMENT
Some of the people that Spawn faces are of the Heavenly persuasion. Here are my casting choices for those characters.
Angela has to be tough. She has to strike fear in the hearts of those who ogle her. Whether she was playing Queen Gorgo or Sarah Connor she has shown that she can kick some butt and more importantly she has that look in her eyes that makes you wet your pants. As far as the hair color… that’s what Clairol is for!
For our other angry Angelic hunter I’m going with Keira Knightley. I think she fits the look of the character and she has shown that she can handle rough and tumble roles in the past.
I know that this is strange but if you’ve read the books you know that the first appearance of the Redeemer (or Anti-Spawn) was when Jason Wynn is ubducted by space station Angels and turned into the carrier of Heavenly Fire. This is the reason for the different voice… the reason for Goldberg is that the Redeemer needs to be BIG and TOUGH, Though I’m sure Morgan could pull off both roles I think the Redeemer needs to appear Physically different from Wynn (As he did in the books.
THE HUMAN ELEMENT
Spawn has plenty of Human characters that surround him. Whether it be familiar faces from his past life or new acquaintances, he needs the human element to ground the story. Here is the cast for these roles.
Sam Burke; one half of the odd team of detectives that get pulled into the insanity that seems to plague our hero’s existence. He needs to be overweight and enjoyable while maintaining a sense of grossness and morality. Alec Baldwin, thank God you’ve let yourself go over the years!
Sam’s sidekick “Twitch” is smart, composed, loyal and a little strange looking. I have to admit that my first pick for Twitch was Gary Oldman but I felt this role was a little too close to his role in the recent Batman franchise. So, I decided to go with (who I think is) his younger look a like; Sam Rockwell.
Terry is Spawn’s Best friend (in his Al simmons days) and current Husband to the love of his life. He needs to be smooth and reserved. I like T.C. Carson for the role. I know he’s getting a little older now but I think with the right suit and some hair dye he’ll be just fine.
And of course the breath taking wife of Al Simmons and the reason for his new found life as a soldier from Hell; Wanda Blake. She needs to be… well… breath taking, and that’s about it. So here is our Wanda Blake: Gabrielle Union.
Sweet old Granny Blake. The pillar of senile wisdom. Though I know that she would probably NEVER play this part, my pick is Maya Angelou.
Third; just for fun THE POSTER with a very shadowed Spawn on his wicked thrown.
Well there you have it! Let me know what you think.
Until next time… Woodinator