Ross2287 of
SHH is claiming that he too has participated in a consumer survey that allowed him to watch not one, but two potential trailers for
Dark Shadows. He concurs with past descriptions that The Doors
"People are Strange" song is used, but also added that with the last description that Percy Faith's
"Theme from a Summer Place" begins the trailer. A note was attached to the watermarked footage that the music was not final.
The first time we see Depp, his mouth is literally soaked with blood but it's definitely being marketed as a kind of comedy--after we see Depp for the first time, we hear a car and Depp shouts to it, "Show yourself Satan!"
Some other funny moments in the trailer are when Depp tells Green "You may strategically place your wonderful lips upon my posterior and kiss it repeatedly". Depp's delivery was great.
Another fantastic delivery by Depp was when he finds out Moretz is 15. He responds, "And no husband? You must put those birthing hips to good use at once lest your womb shrivel up and die." The way he delivers it is hilarious and actually made me laugh out loud.
Sadly, there's not a lot of horror in either of them. The first one I saw had that shot of a super-bloody Depp and another scene of (I think) Green using her magic to open a curtain that let sunlight hit Depp. He kind of shrieked in horror.
That was for what he assumes was the teaser, and then
Ross2287 was fortunate enough to view a second, full-length trailer.
It starts with Depp narrating. He explains how he is cursed by a jealous witch (Eva Green) who destroyed all that he loves. Green turns him into a vampire and has him put in a chained coffin and buried by villagers for eternity. Coffin opens, Depp comes out and yawns Depp asks future dweller Jackie Earle Haley what is the year and learns it is 1972. Then Depp sees a McDonald's sign and a toy troll with a shocked face.
Depp goes to the Collins Mansion and meets his family. Helena Bonham Carter's character says "Who the hell is this?" Depp replies "I am a vampire madam" Jonny Lee Miller's character says "Yeah".
Depp cleans his fangs in the bathroom with a toothbrush and we see he has no reflection in the mirror. Chloe Moretz says "He's not staying with us forever, is he?" Her little brother interjects "I like him". Michelle Pfeiffer says "Welcome home Barnabas Collins", then Moretz slams door shut with KEEP OUT sign.
Depp sees television and says "What sorcery is this?" He then goes around and rips open back panel yelling "Reveal yourself tiny songstress!" Moretz says to Depp "Are you stoned or something?" (This bit was hilarious)
Eva Green's character Angelique walks in. Depp says "Her name summons vomit to the recesses of my mouth" (made me laugh out loud again). Green replies "Oooh no one talks like you anymore Barnabas".
Depp explains that Green is the witch who killed the woman he loves and cursed him to be a hideous creature and asks Green "What is it you want?" Green rips off her shirt and Depp stares at her breasts and says "I must admit they have not aged a day". Green slides her bottom on piano, lays back on couch and Depp growls. Green spins her head around while giving an evil smile. Helena Bonham Carter's character asks "Is she for real" and Depp replies "Indeed" and puts his head down on organ keys playing high pitched note.
A train is moving then a ghostly appearance of Bella Heathcote's character appears and says "She's coming". Voice over says "I don't know what it is, there's always been something funny here pulling me to you". The real life Josette walks in. Depp stands up and says "Josette". The little brother character says "That's freaky" Bella Heathcote says to Depp "I feel like I've known you forever".
Green says "If I can't have you, I'll destroy you and your family". Then the disco ball comes crashing down. Michelle Pfeiffer says to Depp "Fight on Barnabas, fight on for us" with scene of ambulance and burning building. Depp replies "And fight I shall" as he puts his open hand out and blows up building.
Green says "Love me" and Depp replies "Never". Green wrestles with Depp as they destroy room while getting it on. Green pins Depp to the ground and licks his chest and face with her abnormally long tongue. Depp, sitting in the destroyed room, says to Green "That was a regrettable turn of events"
Chloe Moretz says "I guess the only thing missing is Alice Cooper". Depp replies that "She [meaning Alice Cooper] should be our guest". Scene showing Alice Cooper singing and Depp says "ugliest woman I've ever seen".
Dark Shadows also stars Helena Bonham-Carter, Michelle Pfeiffer, Eva Green, Chloe Moretz and Jackie Earle Haley and will be with us May 2012.