GI Joe: Retaliation Plot Details Revealed

GI Joe: Retaliation Plot Details Revealed

io9 seem to have gleaned some pretty detailed info from a casting call for the upcoming GI Joe sequel including new characters and plot points. SPOILERS ahead..

By MarkCassidy - Aug 11, 2011 01:08 PM EST
Filed Under: G.I. Joe
Source: io9

Hot off the heels of the announcement that Bruce Willis will be joining the cast of Jon Chu's Gi Joe: Retaliation we have the following details from io9. Apparently all of this info comes from a recent casting call but some sounds like speculation to me. Anyway, here is what they say..



Several new Joes, including Walker, Brock and Robyn. Walker is the wise-cracker of the bunch, who's always making jokes about other guys' moms. Robyn is a gun-loving weapons expert, who talks lovingly about her latest ultra-high-tech rifle. (Which prompts Walker to say that he loves "girls with guns.") Brock is from the 'hood and he listens to a lot of Cypress Hill on his boombox while looking at pictures of his eight-year-old twin girls. (When he takes the picture out of a Ziploc bag, Walker hopes he's bringing out some of his famous pistachio cheese balls.)

At one point, when Robyn, Brock and another Joe named Sam are on the run, they take refuge in Brock's old neighborhood, where one of the homies, a tattooed stone-cold badass named Stacks, promises to help him any way he can. Stacks and Brock are like brothers from another mother, and Stacks tells Brock they can hide out in the old rec center. He can even hook Brock up with a new set of wheels, which are pimped out but "on the low." (The joke is that the wheels are clearly not on the low, because they're too fancy and loud.)

Mouse, who is the newest recruit on the team played by Joseph Mazzello. He's a Southern boy, "18 going on 11." He's got no real combat experience, but he's played a lot of Call of Duty. And when he goes up against one of the top Joes in a test to see who can pull a hand grenade out of a big pool out of water with their teeth, Mouse wins. He raises his arms in victory, and spits out the grenade, saying "Bang." The crowd of soldiers watching this goes nuts.

The Young Storm Shadow. Looks like we'll be getting some flashbacks to the childhoods of Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow. Blind Master (played by RZA!) talks to Storm Shadow about his early mistakes in voice-over, while we watch the young Storm Shadow fleeing the Dojo. Blind Master asks who had the most to gain from driving Storm Shadow from the Dojo: the rival who drove Storm away, or the "man into whose arms you were chased." We see that Storm Shadow took refuge with a "burly peasant" who gave him a blanket and cooked for him by a fire. And later, we see the burly peasant, who's really a super-ninja in disguise, killing a ninja master.

Lots and lots of World Leaders There's some kind of summit, in which everybody is agreeing on reducing their nuclear missiles, and it all goes horribly wrong, of course. The U.S. has launched all of its birds in the air, and everybody is trying to decide whether to retaliate and cause World War III. People say awesome shit like, "Let history record who was responsible for this madness." And "There can be no winners!"

And then Zartan — the master of disguise who replaced the U.S. President in the first movie — basically tells everybody that their countries can serve him or die. He totally wants it all, man. Zartan tells the French muckety muck that from now on "You're reporting to moi." But at least Russia is defiant, telling Zartan "You've only succeeded in uniting us... against you." Separately, we see the Pakistani President, who is standing by his decision to harbor terrorists, suddenly getting assassinated with a titanium blade.

Lecter, a new villain who joins forces with Zartan in infiltrating the White House. (And it turns out the President's approval ratings have skyrocketed since he turned evil.) Lecter has been busted out of prison, so he can develop every high-tech weapon the baddies can possibly imagine... and some they can't. Lecter and his friends Smith and Jones are holding a U.S. Senator prisoner and interrogating him. "It's called a water board... but I never get bored," gloats Jones.


How they know all of this from a casting call is anyone's guess but there you go. To me it sounds as tedious as the first movie but we shall see. With some admittedly heavy hitting cast members in Willis as the original "Joe" and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnston signing up as Roadblock, and the script being penned by Zombieland duo Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick so anything is possible. What do you guys make of this?





By: TwitterButtons.com

By TwitterButtons.com



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RunDTC
RunDTC - 8/11/2011, 1:51 PM
huh. sounds....interesting. I didn't hate the first, it was an alright popcorn movie, so I'm mildly interested in this.
MarkJulian
MarkJulian - 8/11/2011, 2:03 PM
I couldn't stop laughing.
StrangerX
StrangerX - 8/11/2011, 2:12 PM
OMG wtf is this shit.
95
95 - 8/11/2011, 2:13 PM
Until I see a trailer, I've set in my mind that this is shit.
MarkCassidy
MarkCassidy - 8/11/2011, 2:17 PM
haha, I didn't want to rip on it to much in the article because then i'd get "Aww, your supposed to be neutral Ror"

But that sounds like SHIT
CyberBishop
CyberBishop - 8/11/2011, 2:18 PM
Crap.. Complete crap.. Easy pass for me..
marantaz
marantaz - 8/11/2011, 2:19 PM
This is so bad it needs tea's big boob girl photos to make up for it...

OK... I need tea's big boob girl photos...
BeeMo
BeeMo - 8/11/2011, 2:21 PM
The first Joe was SHIT, this new Joe's gonna be SHIT 2! LOL
write33
write33 - 8/11/2011, 2:22 PM
"burly peasant"

who writes that and takes it seriously???
BeeMo
BeeMo - 8/11/2011, 2:22 PM
SHIT 2. Get it! Hahahahahahahahaha! Yeah, -- whatever.
StrangerX
StrangerX - 8/11/2011, 2:23 PM
Whoever wrote this script should be shot.
Triptheorist
Triptheorist - 8/11/2011, 2:28 PM
All I read was "homies" and "brothers from another mother" and I was instantly sold.
RockNRollCC
RockNRollCC - 8/11/2011, 2:28 PM
.........This doesnt even sound like a GI Joe Movie!

This is going traight to dvd.
kookevin3
kookevin3 - 8/11/2011, 2:28 PM
I'll wait for a trailer but this sounds like ass. I do like that Willis and Johnson are joining the cast. And for gods sake take the mouth of of snake eyes! It looks so stupid!

RockNRollCC
RockNRollCC - 8/11/2011, 2:29 PM
straight*
WHERE IS THE DAMN EDIT BUTTON?
marantaz
marantaz - 8/11/2011, 2:30 PM
Tea - boobalicious! but never enough!

HelaGood
HelaGood - 8/11/2011, 2:31 PM
the first one was sooooooooooooooooo bad!!!!
the only good things about it were this...



and this...

FrankDrebin
FrankDrebin - 8/11/2011, 2:33 PM
wow... just, wow...
They could though have gone with: Mouse plays a lot of Wolfenstein
tazmaniak
tazmaniak - 8/11/2011, 2:35 PM
"while looking at pictures of his eight-year-old twin girls"

I completely misread that line as "while looking at pictures of eight-year-old twin girls"

I was like, WTF?
CapFan79
CapFan79 - 8/11/2011, 2:37 PM
WTF? I didn't see COBRA mentioned anywhere. I got a headache reading that though.
AlexDeLarge87
AlexDeLarge87 - 8/11/2011, 2:37 PM
Joker has a message for the makers of this movie.

AlexDeLarge87
AlexDeLarge87 - 8/11/2011, 2:40 PM
tazmaniak@ I misread it too ;)
AlexDeLarge87
AlexDeLarge87 - 8/11/2011, 2:42 PM
tea@ well obviously :)
FrankDrebin
FrankDrebin - 8/11/2011, 2:44 PM
Did anyone notice in the first film when they break into that top military facility in the desert, that the military is using Norton Anti-virus on their computers?
SeanTwisted
SeanTwisted - 8/11/2011, 2:50 PM
I really hope that the "Pistachio Cheese Balls" happen to be a major plot point of the film. Because that would make this WAY more interesting. good lord, I'm taking this with a tank full of salt and still calling bullshit. How the hell do you get all of that from a Casting call?
FrankDrebin
FrankDrebin - 8/11/2011, 3:11 PM
Photobucket
weapon925
weapon925 - 8/11/2011, 3:18 PM
If this is real I can't think of a reason to see it.
lilej2
lilej2 - 8/11/2011, 3:18 PM
Are we all gonna act retarded and believe this bullshit?

The only thing that even sounded remotely like it could be in the film is the Storm Shadow, Snake Eyes, and possibly Zartan parts. Everything else sounds fake and you guys have to be idiots to believe any of this crap

This website is so dumb
comicbookjerk
comicbookjerk - 8/11/2011, 3:18 PM
Im not watching this shit until it comes out on tv or they hire Marlon Wayons to come back SCREW THIS PILE OF CRAP!
nuck82
nuck82 - 8/11/2011, 3:20 PM
NO SHIP WRECK = automatic fail
marantaz
marantaz - 8/11/2011, 3:27 PM
I nominate tea for poster of the year, though he's got some stiff competition and perhaps we need to have a competition of boob postings... and maybe another poll?

marantaz
marantaz - 8/11/2011, 3:29 PM
Oh, and I agree, this sounds all made up, the spoiler alert warning should be a 'probably fraudulent alert'. Perhaps this is an attempt to reduce expectations so that anything else will look better?
dudemanjac
dudemanjac - 8/11/2011, 3:39 PM
I had such high hopes. This sounds horrible. Why are they making new joes?!!!?? Are there not already enough beloved characters to run with?
RunDTC
RunDTC - 8/11/2011, 3:44 PM
45th!
RunDTC
RunDTC - 8/11/2011, 3:45 PM
whoops......48TH!!!!
Lert
Lert - 8/11/2011, 3:49 PM
hears a plot- THIS IS GONNA SUCK JUST LIKE THE LAST ONE DID... B.S. actors trying for shtick... CBM no more post on this movie dont waist yours and our time with this crap.. Your cool ROR, dont make this as me downing you dude!
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