I present to you: The J.J. Döner McClusterf*ck conspiracy!

I present to you: The J.J. Döner McClusterf*ck conspiracy!

I have connected the right dots and discovered the plot for the last Star Wars movie in 2020. Boba Fett and Han Solo are gay? Nick Fury and Mace Windu are the same character? The mediclorian empire leaded by George Lucas? Kevin Feige? Michael B. Jordan? All of the questions will be answered here.

By BaronZemo - Dec 08, 2015 09:12 AM EST
Filed Under: Star Wars
Itroduction:
So i was looking at star wars related stuff given that we’re just a week and a half to see the new film. This are the upcoming films if you didn’t know already:

All of this is product of J.J.Abrahams’ ideas and amazing vision. The one that caught my attention the most was 2020’s fett/solo. Yes, i know that there’s a Han Solo movie scheduled for 2018, but they haven’t specified that fett/solo has been cancelled. And if they have, there’s still a star wars movie coming in 2020. This is the last star wars movie we will probably ever see, so this one will the be the most special. This will be the ending of one of the most important sagas of cinema history if not the most. I think this movie will be the one to absolutely blow our minds and it’s easy to think that there will be several twists. As i’ve already said, it’s Abrahams, and he is well known to keep movie secrets very well and to surprise us with amazing twists (Khan). I started to connect the dots and discovered awesome secrets. I present to you what i’ve called the J.J. Donër McClusterF*ck conspiracy!
 
Body:
We know that they are casting a younger solo so we can asume that this film will take place before episode 4. So if they both knew eachother before the original trilogy, how come either one of them mentioned that fact? It didn’t seem like they knew eachother from before, but they did. Why wasn’t there any sign of it? Here comes one of the twists i was talking about: I think that this movie will be a romance between these two characters. For some reason or another, they argue and break up and so that’s why they don’t talk to eachother anymore in the original trilogy. Gay characters and gender-swaps are becoming very poular in media nowadays so it’s not a strech to think that maybe Solo could be gay. Plus, it can be backed up with the facts stated by george lucas in November:
“At first, C-3PO was not intended to be a robot but a Morphlak, a humanoid species that were only of male gender, but the studio wasn’t too open about the idea of a gay character".
http://worldnewsdailyreport.com/george-lucas-admits-c-3po-was-based-on-his-gay-friend/
 
Lucas wanted a gay character in the franchise, but given that he couldn’t do it publicly, he did it in secret, with Han Solo.

 
But this doesn’t end here! Oh no! It has just begun! I have discovered the reason why they break up: Recently, they have banned all of the toys of Leia wearing the slave outfit. That’s because they don’t want women to be seen as an object. Now Chewbacca the is the only character that hasn’t aged in any of the star wars movies. Why? Because she is actually a female, given that they want to represent women as powerful inmortal beings. That’s one of the other twists i was talking about. This movie will deliver all of the answers we’ve been waiting for. Boba had an afair with Chewie (because he is a smartasss and does whatever he want to do). That’s why Chewbacca is Solo’s slave, to compensate the fact that she ruined his marriage. Yes, i said marriage, intergalactic homosexual interracial marriage. Yes, i said interacial, because boba is actually afroamerican. Think about it: Who is this new character Finn? Who are his parents? We don’t know. Well he is actually the son of chewbacca and an afroamerican Boba fett! That’s why Finn is a Jedi, because Boba Fett is also a Jedi! That’s why this movie would be the last one, because it would answer ALL of the questions and would deliver on so many levels. Why else would they choose a fett/solo spin-off to be the last star wars movie ever?

 
But why i think boba fett is an afroamerican homosexual you say? A couple of months ago, there were some rumours that Michael B. Jordan was going to play Boba Fett.
http://www.comicbookmovie.com/fansites/JoshWildingNewsAndReviews/news/?a=125782
Ok, we got the afroamerican part, what about the homosexual? About 2.500 actors have auditioned for the Han Solo part. And who is the blockbuster actor that is currently out of work? Andrew Garfield. And as you may very well remember, a couple of years ago he said that he wanted Peter Paker to be gay and he wanted his boyfriend to be no other than Michael B Jordan... who is going to be our new Boba Fett with Garfield co-starring as Solo! All of this is part of the first act.

http://www.comicbookmovie.com/fansites/JoshWildingNewsAndReviews/news/?a=83002
 
You thought that was crazy? (But true) Wait until you read the following (Abrahams is truly a genius):
If the Star Wars characters in the present (Finn, Luke, Leia, etc) don’t know about any of these secrets, it doesn’t make any sense to reveal any of them. We want to see how the rest of the characters react. This is how the secrets revealed in “Fett/Solo” will arrive to the ears of Leia, Luke, Finn, bb-8, etc: MARVEL. Marvel is the only way to make the rest of the characters aware of this romance.
 
Marvel is currently publishing Star Wars comics. Disney owns both Star Wars and Marvel. Marvel just released Guardians of the Galaxy, a space adventure starring a guy whose father we know nothing about. Isn’t it suspicious? Aren’t you already feeling it? These are just schemes that connect to a bigger plan. 
They are teasing us with little hints all over the media, telling us that everything is connected. Feige and Lucas had this on their minds since the 70’s, because as you may know, they are people who like to have long term plans on their heads. Now remember what captain america had on his what-to-do list? Watch star wars.

 “Wait, what does a connection between the marvel cinematic universe and star wars have anything to do with Old leia and the rest of the characters finding out about the boba/han romace?” Just wait, everything will make sense in the end, be sure about it. This is the most important connection between the Marvel universe and the Star Wars universe. Because who is in both Star Wars and Marvel? This guy from that cap film!

 
My theory is that the purpose of this last tease is to send us a message: Mace Windu and Nick Fury are the same person! Why else would they have done it? This is how they are the same person. This is how he connects both universes and how it relates with “Fett/Solo”. This is how he will reveal the secrets of “Fett/Solo” given to us to the rest of the star wars characters. This:
When windu “got killed” by Palpatine he fell off a building, but we actually didn’t see him hit the floor (although he did lose an eye in the fight against Palpatine), that’s because he got in contact with the time gem, that sent him back in time, to the avengers era. But we know from the comics that the time gem keeps appearing and disappearing traveling in time. So it just dissapeared again, leaving Mace Fury in the past.

By December 2020, all of the upcoming Marvel movies will already have been released and the infinity wars will already be over, so the time gem will already have been introduced. That’s when Nick Windu takes advantage of the fact that the gem is back, and takes the infinity gauntlet and the avengers to travel to the future to destroy the empire. In the future they witness the romance of Boba Fett, Han Solo and Chewbacca (By the way, a disguised Thanos has also traveled with them to the future, I will later explain how he factors into the movie). I think that’s the only way they will be able to connect the MCU with Star Wars. Here you have two more twists that i think could be very possible: When the avengers try to destroy the empire, Darth Vader steals the infinty gauntlet from them, travels to the past and impregnates Star-lord’s mother. Boom! Then, Thanos (who traveled to the past with Vader) steals the infinity gauntlet from him, goes to a few years before episode I and porks with Vader’s mother. Double boom! In the phantom menace, it’s never explained who was Vader’s father. And in Episode 6 how was he able to defeat the most powerful sith ever just by throwing him off a tall place? Because he has the power of Thanos and the Infinity Gauntley pumping through his veins! That’s the only explanation.

 
Then, Thanos travels to where the avengers are, and they steal the gauntlet back from him and kill the Mad Titan once and for all with the help of Boba and young Han. So Darth is Star-Lord’s father and Thanos is Darth’s father. Told ya it would have twists. All of this will be part of the explosive second act.
 
And now, just before the third act, Nicholas Windu travels to the future with the avengers once more to see that the empire he wanted to destroy is long gone. But he also goes there to tell old Leia, Finn, Rey, bb-8 and the rest of the gang about the romance of Boba Fett and Han Solo and that Chewbacca is Finn’s mother (This is what we’ve been waiting for the entire movie and the most emotional scene, of course). But this is when total speculation comes in: Now everyone knows the secrets, but we still need a final fight, and given that this is the last star wars movie ever, we need a fight that means something, and we need a villain that means something to us aswell. It can’t be Vader, ot Thanos or Kylo-Ren. We’ve seen too much of those. The villain we need for the final battle is the true villain of everything: The things we don’t like (or that have caused controversy) about the Star Wars franchise. Let me explain: When old Leia and old Han talk it out, they decide to just have a good time by traveling to the future with Mace Fury and the avengers, but when they do, they discover that there is a new empire worst than any other empire ever: The mediclorian empire! Get ready for the final battle!
 
The mediclorian empire would consist in a council (yes, a council) formed by: A sith Jar Jar Binks, an evil Ewok, Hayden Christensen’s ghost, sith Luke Skywalker and Darth Mediclorian Lucas! Their sidgel is the Luke/Leia kiss and their war scream is “I hate sand!”. And by the way, they all wield crossguard lightsabers.

 
Why i think this will happen?
  1. They are the only villains that would fit for the last movie.
  2. Georges Lucas has said that the prequels and the original trilogy rhyme because they both introduce a young character that becomes a jedi and that in the end gets influenced by the dark side (although luke stays in the light in Episode 6). The young jedi of the prequels is the bad guy in the next trilogy. What if by “they rhyme” he meant that his 6 movies and J.J.’s 6 movies rhyme? And of course the protagonist of the first 6 movies is the bad guy in the next 6 movies! That’s why it’s obvious that Lucas will be the villain in this film! And the good guy in the first movies is the father of the protagonist in the next movies. That represents the fact that Lucas passed the torch to Abrahams. God he is such a genious.
 
But for the final battle, our heroes would be helped by the new rebels, leaded by no other than f*cking J.J. Abrahams (Obi-bram), who would kill once and for all Darth Mediclorian Lucas in an epic lightsaber duel in the end. This will probably be the best movie that anyone has made in the history of this reality.
 
Be sure to share this now because Disney is probably going to take this down in a few days. I’ll upload it on WikiLeaks probably. I know it’s a bit of a stretch to think that maybe Chewbacca also appears but hey, it’s a possibility. Let’s also pray for a love triangle between Vision, Scarlet Witch and C3PO. See you later and tell me your thoughts. See you at the movies Friday 18th.

P.S.: Try topping that, Warner Brothers!
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BaronZemo
BaronZemo - 12/8/2015, 9:56 AM
@prototype87 @Blackreverend @MightyZeus @BlackestKnight @NovaCorpsFan @PredatorRising
alamborn19
alamborn19 - 12/8/2015, 5:14 PM
Love it
TucksFrom2015
TucksFrom2015 - 12/9/2015, 8:16 AM
I find your lack of Trank memes disturbing...

NovaCorpsFan
NovaCorpsFan - 12/14/2015, 2:56 AM
I'm gonna set some time aside to read this.
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