U L T I M A T E M E G A
P I T C H
When a west-texas preacher, Jesse Custer is inhabited by a spawn from heaven and hell, he's given strange powers and together with his wild vampire friend and hitwoman-ex girl embark on a quest to find a lost god.
NETWORK: HBO
Showrunner - Shane Black (Lethal Weapon, The Nice Guys)
OR
David Fincher (Fight Club, Se7en)
Season 1 C A S T (Main Cast)
Oscar Issac - Jesse Custer
O R
James Marsden - Jesse Custer
Or James Franco - Jesse Custer
Or Guy Pearce - Jesse Custer
Tulip O'Hare - Elizabeth Banks
Or Rebecca Ferguson - Tulip O'Hare
Or Sarah Gadon - Tulip O'Hare
Last Alternative: Alicia Vikander - Tulip O'Hare
Michael Fassbender - Cassidy
Or Domhall Gleeson - Cassidy Pronsias
Or David Tennant | Cassidy Pronsias
Saint Of Killers - Graham McTavish
Or Sam Elliott - Saint Of Killers
DeBlanc And Fiore - Simon Pegg and Nick Frost
Theme Song - Son Of A Preacher Man
EPISODE I - Son Of A Preacher Man
The intro is in heaven. Big colonies, then, an entinity escapes from one tower, and flies away, it has multiple colors, and then it just flies away. Then, De Blanc and Fiore look out from the window, and then they talk about bringing out the Saint.
Then, we turn to the small town of Annville, Texas. On the church, we see Jesse giving a sermon, he's beat down, then one of the kids throws up, and things get awkward when his father walks out and humiliating his kid and wife.
Then, the church is over.
Then, after the church people are all out, Jesse sits in one of the stands, put his feet up in another, then starts smoking, and looking at the statue of god. He prays and expects an answer. No answer.
“[frick] you, almighty”
We then cut out, and go to a room filled with cigar smoke and see a big fat boss named Nicky, in his high chair and his men on his shoulders. Tulip stands in front of him, waiting for details on the gig. He tells her about the gig. And then we skip to Tulip standing in the side of the road, with the gun hidden, and then, she goes up to a car filled with rivals of Nicky and shoots them, clean off but misses the big two targets. Then, she hears sirens, when out of nowhere, a police car nearby chases her. Then, Cassidy is smoking, and ready to get into his truck, then Tulip pushes him in, and puts the gun to his face.
“Drive, or i’ll blow your brains out”
“They’ll grow back, if i eat that lovely neck of yours, luv”
“What did you say?”
“A little nasty, huh? Well, there’s worse pick up lines, trust me. Well...how ya doin’? ”.
“Just DRIVE”
Then Cassidy drives away, and the police chases them. Cassidy drives off into the field, the police shoots at them, the car breaks down. Then, Tulip and Cassidy barg them and kill them. Cassidy eats the neck of one of the officers, Tulip is shocked.
Then, we turn to Jesse, smoking in the church, he gets in front of the statue of the lord, and prays.
Then, we get to a flashback, where he is in a bar, wearing his white preacher clothes, the worried wife of a man sitting and swearing in the bar, comes along and yells at him, for his son being wooped. Then, he punches her, down to the floor. Jesse intervenes, he punches and kicks Jesse, Jesse has had enough and fights him and his friends in a brutal fashion, the sherriff arrives, and plans to take him to the department. Meanwhile, he says that he’d just be locked up for an hour or so, but Root has to take him down to the station. Then asks him for Eugene. Then things get out of hand, when Root, in a subtle way, says about putting him down, like an unwanted dog. Jesse is shocked.
Then, the next day he has a shermon, the people are there, listening. Then, he screws up, and pukes on his stand. He goes backstage.
Meanwhile, Tulip and Cassidy are in the middle of the road, not knowing where to head to next.
Tulip smokes, while Cassidy waits in the trunk, covered in a blanket as to not explode. Then, Tulip suggests she knows a guy.
They head to Annville.
We head back to heaven, in a council made out of the normal angels and Adelphi ones surrounding. The big ups at heaven talk to Fiore and DeBlanc about Genesis and they’ve found out about where it’s heading. Then an Adelphi warrior talks about his dead brother killed by Genesis. Then, the council orders for them to awaken the Saint. One angel goes to the hill where the Saint rests, and unleashes him. He holds holy water which he believes will protect himself from the Saint, then the Saint shoots him multiple times, making him a pile of skin and guts. Then, he walks out of his cave. “Preacher”.
Back at Jesse, he sleeps in the attic of the church. Then, some noises are heard, and he slowly goes downstairs and finds Tulip sitting in the stands, smiling. He wonders what is she doing here. Then, she asks him for a favor. Cassidy pops up from sleeping, and Tulip tells all about Cass. Cass and Jesse meet. Jesse mistakes Cass as Tulip’s new guy. Then, out of nowhere, Genesis pops up in the middle, and posseses Jesse, throwing him to the statue of Jesus, which breaks and falls down. Jesse passes out.
END:
We see the sign saying ‘Anville, Texas”. Then, a cowboy on a horse, straight out of a western pops up in the middle of the shot, and rides towards Annville.
EPISODE II - All Guns Of Hell
Jesse is put into a hospital. Tulip and Cassidy shit outside, waiting for results. Cassidy wants to leave, but Tulip convinces him to stay, because of his truck, and she needs a ride to finish of her big target. Then the doctor tells the two that Jesse is fine. They choose not to tell him about the thing that flew him into the air, just to leave. They take a nearly sleeping Jesse to the car, and then drive to the church. Tulip asks for a favor, then she gets a phone call, saying they would find her, and kill her.
Then, Tulip chooses to hide in a motel with Jesse and Cassidy. Jesse uses the word on the rude janitor of the motel because of him insulting Tulip, he makes him to clean the whole state of Texas.
Then, we see a cop car, waiting on the side of the desert. They’re eating donuts. Then, the Saint with his horse walks past them, they raise their guns, asking who he is. Then, one officer shoots down the horse, then the Saint is angered, and rises from the ground.
“That was my favorite horse...[frick]ers”
Then, the Saint shoots the officer who shot the horse, blowing his head off, guts everywhere. The second officer shoots the hell out of the Saint. But the Saint is unharmed by the bullets. He then finishes the second one, and walks on his feet to Annville.
Then, we are at the police station, where it’s full of traffic. Then, we see an officer report on the Saint killing the other officers, then Root puts together an investigation to find that ‘son of a bitch’.
Back at the motel, Jesse is resting on the bed of the bedroom, while Tulip talks to him. They talk about their lost relationship, and how she wants him to help her with a job she has to do. Jesse refuses, but she insists. Then, we turn to Cassidy, drinking in a bar, below the motel room. He is drinking a big bottle of whiskey, then he talks to the bartender. A guy comes and sits next to him, and his blonde girlfriend sits next to him, with a big ass, and Cassidy looks at it, the guy notices Cassidy checking out his girl, and punches him, the fight escalates. On the motel room, Jesse and Tulip hears noises and screams, and Cassidy’s voice. Then, they get down to the bar.
Meanwhile, we see Hugo Root in his house, sitting in the couch, looking depressed. Then, we see footsteps. Then, we see ARSEFACE. His face is mutilated. He asks his dad if he can get his laptop back, then Hugo gives it to him, nor looking in his face.
Then, a call comes for Root, he picks it up and it’s from the sherrif’s department. They somehow found the Saint through a witness, and he’s gotta go to duty. Then, he lies to Eugene and says that he’s gonna take him to his work, then he goes up to his room and leaves Arseface there, crying.
“You’re staying here, you bastard. Silent and harmless, if i see anything wrong, i’ll kill you, i swear”
We get back to the Trinity, Jesse and Tulip enter the bar, and seeing Cassidy fight a dozen guys, then Jesse jumps in and they beat them. Then, one guy hits Cassidy with a bottle of whiskey, and he gets angry and bites him. Jesse and Tulip are shocked. Then, thankfully the bar isn’t full, and nobody witnessed it. Except the bartender, who Jesse pays off. Then, they get out, and Jesse and Cass get in a heated argument.
Then, Jesse lights a smoke, when Tulip yells at him for arguing. Then, the Saint pops up from behind the Preacher and puts a gun to his head, the cigarette falls off Jesse’s mouth.
“Got time for a confession, preacher?”
EPISODE III - Heaven’s Hell
We are in a broken down palace in heaven. We see an Adelphi angel, as he walks to the palace. He sees a demon woman, seducing him. They are ready for a fight, but talking about the restraints of being a demon and angel, then the woman suggests they ‘be peaceful’ then they make out.
After the opening, we turn to Jesse, the Saint, Tulip and Cassidy. Jesse tries to escape, but the Saint punches him to the floor. Then, the police and Root arrives and makes the other officers point guns at the Saint. The Saint, in a hurry, shoots the car, and gasoline drops, a little drop did such a big damage. The car BLOWS UP, and the officers lose arms and legs.
Then, Jesse has the chance to punch the Saint, but the Saint doesn’t flinch. Then, he orders with the Word for the Saint to put his guns back in the hostler. The saint does just that, and he is angry.
“I’ll kill ya’, Preacher. I [frick]in’ will. Whatever it takes.”
“Why are you after me?”
Then, DeBlanc and Fiore stop Jesse. They are on an unofficial mission on earth. To stop the saint. Then, DeBlanc tells Jesse about god and genesis. Jesse says some visions of genesis have popped up in his head. Then, we get to a flashback, the angel and demon are around the council of both heaven and hell and are executed. Their child is hidden away in the headquarters of heaven. Escaping, Genesis’ powers rivals those of god, who’s escaped.
Then, the Saint somehow escapes the Word, and tries to shoot Jesse, but then Cassidy somehow got his truck and drives through the Saint, causing a major wreckage. Cassidy falls of the car, into the land, and the Saint hits Jesse in the head, and he falls in the ground close to Cassidy.
“How’d did you go the truck?”
“That wanker is good with guns but not with vision, get what i mean, mate?”
Then, Hugo Root tries to ‘kill’ the Saint but misses, and the Saint shoots his dick off. Then, Jesse orders the Saint to ‘[frick] off from Texas’ And he does, not able to escape the Word, he walks away, but uttering:
“Till we meet again, father”.
Then, DeBlanc and Fiore don’t want to return, citing the corrupted council of heaven, and be normal mortals. Then, Jesse talks about god, and how he is too much of a ‘crying bitch’ and sets out with Cass and Tulip to find the ‘pig[frick]in’ son of a whore’. END: We see a white limo park in front of an apartment building. Inside, is a black man and white woman, who have bussiness suits and another man, who's way too annoying and chatty. Then, Herr Starr enters the car, and talks about their mission and ''the Preacher with the demon and angel spawn'". Then, when the annoying guy makes an unfunny comment on the whole thing, Starr shoots his FACE off, making him just a skull filled with guts and veins.