Rockerdude's Rap Battles: Stan Lee vs Hugh Hefner

Rockerdude's Rap Battles: Stan Lee vs Hugh Hefner

Playboy Magazine founder Hugh Hefner faces off with Marvel Comics writer Stan Lee to determine who is the better magazine publisher. Who wins? You decide!

By rockerdude22 - May 21, 2014 08:05 AM EST
Filed Under: Other

Hello everyone! I'm back to writing battles! Hope you enjoy this one!



Hugh Hefner:
Hello, and welcome to the Playboy mansion
I’m about to put this mustached fool’s ass on ransom
I party it hard with the Girls Next Door
Stop showing up in everything, you god damn attention whore
I’ve come a long way since my days with Esquire
Since then, I’ve created a legacy, an adult entertainment empire
After I read your comics, I put them in the trash can
Your characters will always be second to Supes and Batman


 
Stan Lee:
Stan Lee here reporting from the comic book hall of fame
It’s time I put this old pervert’s ass to shame
My stories and characters are loved by millions around the world
Your magazine is only read by guys who can’t get a real girl
FYI, the public loves to see me make my cameos
In this rap war-game, I’m the Generalissimo
Here’s a cold hard truth that you should know, Hugh
Even my billionaire creation is a better ladies’ man than you


 
Hugh Hefner:
A war-game, huh? Well you’re the worst opponent I’ve fought
I’ll run you over with my car and then with my yacht
Your age is showing, since your raps come as slow as molasses
You must be hiding something with those big huge glasses
Here’s the E! True Hollywood Story about how I kicked your ass
You can’t step up to a pimp like me who has true class
Take all your shitty heroes, and get out! You’re through!
Next time, think before facing the one true Playboy, Hugh


 
Stan Lee:
All you do is sleep with dimwits who could hardly pay for college
While I have a wife who’s faithful, suck on that knowledge
Who’s a major force in comics? Yours truly, Stan the man Leiber
You can’t survive against me or my posse of True Believers
I’ve built an empire myself, and it’s more respected than yours
With beloved heroes like Hulk and the Mighty Thor
Go and run back to your castle full of idiotic whores
That was a Marvel-ous victory, bitch! Excelsior!

Who won? You decide!

For more battles, check out my deviantART page: http://rockerdude22.deviantart.com/gallery/
 
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TheMadman
TheMadman - 5/21/2014, 9:15 AM
Rhyming is great, but your flow--well, some lines feel like they have too many syllables to flow well.
rockerdude22
rockerdude22 - 5/21/2014, 9:23 AM
@MrHulkSmashin To be fair, this is the first one I've written in a while, so my flow is a bit rusty. I appreciate the constructive criticism, though!
TheMadman
TheMadman - 5/21/2014, 9:41 AM
Oh, no problem. I've been getting into writing some verses seriously myself--over-writing is a problem I consistently suffer from and I typically have to rewrite about twice before the flow's right.
MarvelDCMan
MarvelDCMan - 5/21/2014, 3:24 PM
haha loved it Stan wins!!!
havoc9987
havoc9987 - 5/21/2014, 3:51 PM
Sorry but rap battles are lame and so is rap.
havoc9987
havoc9987 - 5/21/2014, 10:16 PM
@dio

Nah I don't think so, hip hop, hip POP whatever that is don't interest me at all just give me rock and metal that is all i need.
rockerdude22
rockerdude22 - 5/22/2014, 8:35 AM
Thanks everyone! Glad that you all enjoyed this battle! Not sure when I'll get to my next one, though
ILoveStargirl
ILoveStargirl - 5/23/2014, 2:41 PM
GO STAN GO!!!

Please next Christoper Nolan vs. Michael Bay?
rockerdude22
rockerdude22 - 5/23/2014, 6:58 PM
@ILoveStargirl Good suggestion, but I've used Nolan already (put him against Steven Spielberg). I wouldn't mind using Bay in a battle, though
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