If the creative team behind Batman v Superman are inventive enough in developing The Long Con, they must pull ideas directly from a billion dollar corporation that has been promoting epic fights since the 1980's. And that company is the World Wide Fund! Actually, the company went through an “Attitude” (era) adjustment period in the early 2000's (you have to do your research writing these articles...this is so hard) and is now called, World Wrestling Entertainment!
Who ya Got!?
In this article the winner is decided not by popularity, but what makes the most sense in terms of universe building. Second and more importantly (my Steven A Smith impression), to those people who think turning a profit should play a role in movie making, the winner will be the hero that will make the DC Universe the most money long term, so the studio execs can afford the mortgage on house number six located on a private islands in Maldives, while flipping the bill for their alcoholic wife's shoe and adopting minorities from other countries fetish, all the while donating millions into drug treatment facilities, because their biological kids are on their 4th or 5th stint in rehab!...I digress. This article will break down the reasoning behind who reigns supreme with the use of wrestling terminology, and then finally reveal how the last act of the most anticipated confrontation in comicbookmovie entertainment history should play out.
With all that being said, the winner between Gotham's Dark Knight and Metropolis's Man of Steel MUST be Superman!
That's right, SUPERMAN!
Wait. Did I give it away too soon? Should have teased it more. Damn! Even the Batman v Superman articles are rife with polarizing controversy. The reasons why the last male cousin from Krypton must be the victor are really quite simple.
If Warner Brothers Entertainment (WBE) are booking this match, they need to place Batman in the role of “the heal”, and have the Caped Crusader put the Big Blue Boy Scout, who will be “the babyface” in this contest, “over” by having Kal-El win “clean”....Seriously, how many damn nick names do these two have!? Anyway, the World's Greatest Detective (D'oh!!!) doesn't need to win this fight to remain the most electrifying man in comicbookmovie entertainment. By using the business model provided by the WWE, you just use the more popular character to help the company “push” other characters to the forefront. The more icons or big stars the company manufactures and are able to promote, the more lucrative the WBE becomes.
Batman has no need of a title-belt to aid in his ever growing army of drone followers, but Superman does. He has to be the WBE's Heavyweight Champion. He is the “Grand daddy” of all superheroes, right? Batman will maintain his Gotham street cred, by going spiked sabaton to red classic tall UGG. If you can understand those references, you may be in need of some of my lithium. In laid men's terms, by going “toe to toe” with a God and being relentless doing it, will add to Batbrain's mystique, even with the loss. Just ask Stone Cold Steve Austin what happened to his popularity after losing to Bret Hart in WrestleMania 13!
Is Batman willing to Lose, to Win?
How the Texas Rattle Snake lost to the Excellence of Execution (oh come on! they have a lot of nicknames too!?) the night of March the 23rd 1997, was the catalyst that boosted him into super icon status. Stone Cold's unrelenting tenacity demonstrated in front of over 18,000 people in the Rosemont Horizon, can be equally matched by Batz when he faces Kal to the El, infront of over 400 people in the Providence Place IMAX auditorium. Why? Because he is the <beep> BATMAN! Therefor, as stated already, the Batman can lose “cleanly” just as Austin did and still come out a winner.
“Stay down!” “If I wanted it, you'd be dead already!”
Staying down is not part of Batman's deoxyribonucleic acid, and is the greatest attribute to bestow upon any character. It isn't Batman's detective skills or his playboy persona as Bruce Wayne, that make him the most popular character DC comics has. Nor is it his genius level intellect, his fighting prowess or his remarkable mental discipline to not skip leg day at the gym. It is his immortal passion of never giving up, and preparing himself to always find a way, especially against beings more powerful or with superhuman powers. To quote the late Mike Tyson, “Everyone has a plan 'till they get punched in the mowph.” The Dark Knight always has a plan, and getting punched in the mowph is part of it. He will just keep coming, and will never EVER stay down. Superman, because he is a God for the most part, is not viewed (by the uninitiated) in that same dark light. This continues to be the main reason our Man of Tomorrow's popularity has yet to be realized.
Could this be an explosive device, laced with Kryptonite?
This will be the most crucial task the WBE will have. To have Batman, the “face” of the franchise, “job” to Superman. If handled properly, this will not only raise Superman's popularity, but amass a new generation of Superfans chanting in unison for a Man of Steel sequel. Batman, will play the role of the “heal” as stated above, by pulling out all the stops. Wait! What does “pulling out all the stops” actually mean? Sorry, I get distracted easy and my generic d-amphetamine is way past its half life already. Let's move on! Bruce will have traps, guns, mech suits, kryptonite, pepper spray, cellophane and will even have Alfred do “a run in” and hit Clark from behind with a metal folding chair!
"I'm going to bleed now, aren't I?"
With the alleged use of kryptonite in the movie, it is the best opportunity for Supes to not only “win over the crowd”, but to win over Batman himself. Mary Grayson's Baby Daddy needs to beat the Alien down and humble him. It really is time Smallville learned what it means to be a man. A battered, broken and bloodied man! And not just because he keeps forgetting his wife's name during intimate moments, but because Superman now becomes the hero that keeps getting UP! With every brutal zygomatic shattering blow by a jagged cold metal gauntlet, thrown with Asian precision (not racist), the match “turns” and it's Superman's time to reveal his mettle. Now Batman sees that same moral fiber in Superman, that he himself discovered when he was eight by tripping into a sinkhole.
"Yep, I'm bleeding now...."
Superman MUST win! Not only win, but win “clean”, and have huge superhero momments doing it, so he can get a massive "pop" from the audience. He won't win the contest by holding the tights, or remain the WBE Heavyweight Championship by staying outside the ring for more than ten seconds. He will win, “working” the match the right way. He will inspire hope, because he didn't need to cheat or use outside interference in the face of defeat to get the win. Superman did not “break character” and change who he eventually becomes after his fight with Michael Shannon. He won't kill Batman or kill ever again, but will find another way, because of the lessons he learned in Man of Steel. That's why Batman will respect him and become a fan, and so will all of you.
B v S - ending fight sequence
Superman is being held against a wall beaten and bloodied, with a fully armed and operational Mech suited Batman pressing his metal gauntlet harder and harder against (appears into) Superman's throat, aboot to give the Alien the final death blow with a lethal spiked boot to the temple of his head. But before Batman finishes the fight, he has one last thing he needs to say.
Batman
“In all the years to come, in your most private moments I want you to remember..
Batman begins the final movement of a roundhouse kick, that he has practiced since he was ten, but before the deadly kick can land, and before Batman can finish his most famous quote.
Batman
"the one man who beat..."
I really hope you enjoyed what you read, if you actually made the attampt....or at the very least lie aboot it? I was going to tediously immerse part of this article with some sort of index...fleshing out all of the wrestling terms that I threw into quotations, so the reader, meaning YOU guys (I would say gals also, but who are we kidding) could have a better understanding of the "angle" in my approach...but I don't want to.
So, should Superman be the winner or should it be Batman? Which of the greatest icons in comic book history benifit the WBE the most by winning? What do you feel is the best decision moving forward or does it even matter? As always, or actually never since this is my first article....Leave your thoughts below!
Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice opens in theaters on March 25th, 2016