Earth One: Spider-Man (Part 2)

Earth One: Spider-Man (Part 2)

Just another continuation of my story treatment, again constructive criticism is welcome here... Just don't be a dick about things. Sorry if it's shorter than the first part.

By CyclopsWasRight - Sep 15, 2014 01:09 PM EST
Filed Under: Fan Fic

Act 4:
May calls the paramedics and is sobbing on the phone, Peter is traumatized at the very sight of his Uncle's own blood, the trauma quickly turns into rage. He places a pillow underneath his uncle and keeps holding pressure, violent thoughts run through his mind as he wonders what he will do to the killer once he gets his hands on him.
Once the paramedics arrive Peter runs straight into his room and gets out an old ski-mask and leather jacket, running into the midnight sky looking for his Uncle's killer. Somewhere in Midtown a chase is going on and Peter is on the trail of it as he sees what might be the killer's car. He lets all his anger and frustration out and leaps onto the car itself, making it crash into what seems to be an abandoned chemical warehouse. The robber hides inside but not for long as Peter finds him and throws him around the room, the robber tries to point the gun at him but Peter mangles his hand and breaks his elbow, smashing his face against a wall. Peter looks at him with tears in his eyes and asks him if he realizes what he's done.. He begins slowly choking the victim and makes him beg. Peter with clear intention has in mind what he's going to do by snapping his neck with his bare hands, but he doesn't at the last possible second - The words of Uncle Ben and responsibility come to mind and he realizes what great power he holds sacred to himself, but he won't use them for vengeance, neither for selfish reasons, instead he'll use it for justice.


Act 5:
Peter throws out the robber from a glass window with a rope attached to him and flees the building, jumping his way back home. Peter stops for a second and falls on his knees and cries, he whispers Uncle Ben to himself and takes off the mask before wiping out his eyes. He puts the mask back on and stands back up, pushing against a ledge before he jumps again until he finds his house. Once he enters his bedroom window he throws the leather jacket and mask in the closet, before coming back outside to hug Aunt May but she isn't there, instead she's over at the Watson residence and Peter is left alone with the police cleaning up the crime scene. Peter is questioned by George Stacy about his Uncle's murder and after a while May comes back and hugs Peter. Peter returns back to school in the next week after Uncle Ben's funeral and no one bothers him or talks to him, he suffers a mental breakdown in class and the teacher comforts him. Later that night, Peter is making costume designs in his study table instead of doing his homework, he makes a simple design enough that consists of all black but with hues of blue all around the suit and where the light reflects is a huge spider emblem. The next night he finds all the supplies he needs at the fabric store, he then asks his Aunt to sew it for him and says it's for Halloween. He puts on the suit for the first time and modifies his old ski-mask by sewing it so that there are only two small eye holes, he puts on shades underneath the mask and a bunch of beads to make it reminiscent of a real spider's eyes. He jumps into the night sky looking for adventure, he makes a pledge to himself that he will put on the mask and suit so long as he makes sure that no one else has to go through the trauma of losing a loved one ever again, he does it for Uncle Ben and himself. He runs into a near-raping of a young woman before he critically hits all of the thugs and knocks them out, the next scene involves a fire in a building to which he leaps in and saves all the burning people trapped inside. He's about to enter his house when he sees MJ in the back of her house smoking pot, she then proceeds to ask him what he's looking at, Peter walks up to her for the first time and tries to comfort her and eventually they learn about each other more instead; Peter walks back inside and does a small wave goodbye to MJ.


Act 6
Aunt May walks to him and has a conversation involving what he does every night, as she talks she turns on the news and shows Peter that the masked vigilante is wearing the suit she made for Peter. Peter holds her hand and confesses to her about everything he's done with his antics and says that he's doing it for Uncle Ben and everyone else - Whatever spider bit him in Oscorp, it gave him powers. May refuses his vigilantism at first and Peter does what he's told so he stops. But the next few days the crime antics start to rise again and she tells Peter to be careful when he does it, prompting him to start his crusade on crime once more. Peter stops a robbery in progress at a bank by stealthily sneaking around, he then stops a kidnapping in progress alongside the alleyways of Hell's Kitchen. As he jumps home he thinks to himself that there must be a faster way of getting through New York, he lands on Midtown High's roof and sees all the popular kids smoking weed and doing all kinds of drugs, in the bunch he sees Mary Jane and they're all terrified at the site of him. He looks at MJ and asks what she's looking at, before jumping home. Mary Jane leaves a look of both shock and fright and exits the school rooftop running home.

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TheHero
TheHero - 9/15/2014, 2:23 PM
Great Job! I liked the twist of Aunt May discovering Peter's identity.
Altair
Altair - 9/17/2014, 4:35 PM
Yeah i agree with theHero, it's a nice little difference that makes a lot of sense. Don't take any of the guys being dicks about these too seriously though man, they don't get the point of fan fic in the first place. Anyways good work man, looking forward to the next one
Altair
Altair - 9/17/2014, 4:39 PM
Also this seems longer than the first one to me man, I wouldn't worry about size of it anyways.
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