First the GI Joe team:
Unlike the bullshit team of Rise of Cobra, this live action version of GI Joe would be portrayed as an older, much more experienced team. Led by General Hawk, each member has their own unique talents that, when combined, make them very effective in the field. Make them a bunch of badasses, like when they are doing what they do best, have a deep, effective score to really emphasize the feeling that they are badass, like the score in Punisher Warzone.
Now let’s get to my cast.
Duke- Portrayed by Sean Bean
Bean is a great actor, best known for his works in the Lord of the Rings as Boromir and as Alec Trevelyan in Goldeneye. I think he’d be very good as a much angrier, much more aggressive Duke, which was what I had in mind.
Snake Eyes-Ray Park
The only guy who didn’t [frick] up his part would be the only actor coming back from that piece of trash, Rise of Cobra. This version would emphasize his ninja stealth attributes, as well as being much more lethal in combat, not wasting any time with those twirling-around-his-sword-every-ten-seconds antics that Rise of Cobra featured.
Scarlett-Keira Nightly
Best known for her work in Pirates of the Carribean, Nightly would be ideal as Scarlett, a lot more kickass Scarlett. Not to mention she is very…attractive.
Stalker- Don Cheadle
I think Don Cheadle would be fairly good as Stalker, who for some reason has not had really any face time in the media at all. They look sort of alike, physically at least.
Lady Jaye- Michelle Rodriguez
Some might argue that this is the same role that Michelle Rodriguez always plays in movies, a hot chick with a gun. My response? It’s my fan cast and I’ll put whoever the hell I want in it. Besides, she’s hot and she looks good with a gun.
Roadblock-Michael Clarke Duncan
Who wouldn’t enjoy seeing Michael Clarke Duncan kick some ass as Roadblock? he could definitely play an intense, physically imposing Roadblock.
Flint-Dominic Purcell
Many want Purcell to star as Venom, which he would be great as, but I think he would also do great as Flint, a character who is mostly known only to comic book fans. Its time Flint got some freaking respect on screen, man. Let's give Flint his chance to crack some skulls.
Hawk- Stephen Lang
Best known for his role in Avatar, Lang would do great as Hawk, the leader and head of operations for GI Joe. Of course this version of Hawk would see his fair share of action as well, unlike Dennis Quaid’s portrayal (who actually didn't do that bad of a job, it was just the script that was bad).
And now let’s take a look at my version of COBRA
But before that, let me say that this portrayal of Cobra would be dead serious. No slime bombs, no force field guns, no nana-mites, none of that bullshit, just straight hardcore terrorism. And I’m talking full on terrorism, like nuclear bombs and public massacres, things to make the audience absolutely despise them, which was what Rise of Cobra never really did. I was thinking of something like a mixture between al Qaeda in terms of hostility and the Nazis in terms of power. Make it seem like these guys really could exist. Make it clear to the audience, these guys are TERRORISTS. Hell, why not go even further and make the audience even fear them, make what Cobra does very disturbing and terrifying to watch, like shots of innocents begging for mercy only to be brutally killed. And in the end, make the audience want to cheer once Cobra is defeated in the climax.
Cobra Commander- Played by (1). Ralph Fiennes
Best known for his fantastic portrayal of Voldemort in the Harry Potter films, ever since I first saw Fiennes as He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named I’ve thought he would be awesome as the infamous Cobra Commander. This version of the leader of Cobra would be clearly insane, but still quite clever and methodical, which I would think Ralph would be able to portray perfectly.
(2) Anthony Hopkins
Yet another actor who would do great as Cobra Commander, Hopkins is best known for his ingenious portrayal of Hannibal Lector in such films as Silence of the Lambs. However, Hopkins has been playing much calmer, much saner characters in recent years, even going so defiantly far as to narrate the live action Grinch movie back in 2000. I think us comic book lovers as well as filmgoers and critics would thoroughly enjoy seeing Hopkins return to the role of a wild, homicidal psychopath that he does so well one last time.
(3)Robert Englund
Oh, God, another actor who would be fantastic as Cobra Commander. A legend to horror fans, Englund played the character of Freddy Krueger an astounding 8 times in the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise, a role he is and always will be best known for. I think Englund would be great as an older, more sinister Cobra Commander. He would definitely have the right voice for it.
Destro- Liev Schreiber
While we can all agree that XMO: Wolverine was a piece of monkey crap, it got me thinking that Schreiber would be great as a scary, intimidating Destro. He's very good at being a bad guy, as evidenced at his portrayal of Sabretooth, to me the only actually good part of the whole stinking movie.
Baroness-Kate Beckinsale
Best known for her role in the Underworld movies, I initially cast her as Scarlett, but after consideration, I think she would make a better villain in the form of Baroness.
Major Bludd- Robert Knepper
A fan favorite to play the symbiotic Carnage, which he would be awesome at, I think Knepper would play Major Bludd quite well, with Bludd having a much bigger role as the leader of the mercenaries who serve as Cobra’s soldiers, called the Vipers.
Storm Shadow- Rain
I read this on another guy’s fan cast, some Dude person, and I absolutely agreed with him. Rain would make a great Storm Shadow, as evidenced in Ninja Assassin. Of course this version of Storm Shadow would be quite brutal and, like Snake Eyes, be much more of an actual assassin, slitting people's throats and what not.
So that’s it for my GI Joe Fan cast! Leave a comment please. And don’t hold back on any criticism that you may have. And comments people comments!
Until Next Time…