H20: Batman | Episode 2 'Batman VS Black Mask' | By Mickeus | H20 World

H20: Batman | Episode 2 'Batman VS Black Mask' | By Mickeus | H20 World

H20 Batman is back with it's second shocking episode.
Batman faces off Black Mask, and as he thinks he's won, a second threat arrives, and the battle continues.

By DCMickeus - Apr 03, 2016 10:04 AM EST
Filed Under: Fan Fic

H20 World Presents:

BATMAN

 
EPISODE 2: "BATMAN VS BLACK MASK"

GOTHAM P.D, POLICE DEPARTMENT:

We see the police department, it's busy and crowded, as you'd expect from a police department in Gotham, and among all that we see Jim Gordon, screaming and making sure things are in tact.
GORDON: You, two, downtown, and-
Then, BATMAN, appears from the window, and he looks scary, with black shadows and his cape flowing like the dark wind.
BATMAN: Commisioner, got a minute:
GORDON: Sure.

GORDON'S OFFICE:

Gordon sits in his chair, and talks to Batman.
GORDON: What is it?
BATMAN: The Mask.
GORDON: Black Mask? What about him?
BATMAN: He's holding two or more people hostage, he's looking for me, and i am afraid he won't let them go, and i need some help.
GORDON: How much help do you need for this?
BATMAN: All of it.

BLACK MASK HQ, ROOFTOP:


Black Mask in in the rooftop of a huge building he owns, in Central Gotham. With men around him, he awaits the Batman.
MASK: Well, the little bat crawled up it's cave, cause i don't see him, do you?
The guards agree.
MASK: That's a little bit shitty, but i don't think he has the balls to let those people die, since he treasures the city so much.

INSIDE A SWAT VAN:


We see a big chunk of swat members, just ready to kick ass.

BLACK MASK HQ, ROOFTOP

Black Mask is tired of waiting.
MASK: Well, the Bat chose the wrong door.
Black Mask exits the rooftop, and opens the door, and leaves, with his guards following him.

BLACK MASK HQ, THIRD FLOOR:


We see the people taken hostage by Mask and his men, then they all are gathered on the floor, lying down, scared.
Mask enters, and then looks at them, and is annoyed by their sounds of fear.
MASK: Shut up, will ya? This will be a lot less troublesome if you stopped crying like [frick]in' toddlers.

OUTSIDE OF BLACK MASK HQ:


The Bat-wing is out, in the sky, and is being controlled by Alfred.

BAT-WING:

Alfred is piloting the Batwing, with him talking to Batman through a microphone.
ALFRED: Master Wayne, the hostages are on the third floor,mind if i drop you off on the second? We might get spotted.

ON THE BATWING:

Batman is on top of the Batwing, and is hearing Alfred through a microphone, which is in the cowl.
BATMAN: Alright, Alfred, let's make this a quick one.
Batman JUMPS out of the Bat-wing to the second floor, and breaks through the windows.

SECOND FLOOR, BLACK MASK HQ:

Some men of Black Mask's organization, and they point their guns at Batman, and Batman uses the grappling hook to escape from the bullets, then he lands on the floor, disarms the men, and knock many of them down. PUNCH, KICK, PUNCH, PUNCH IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD, KICK.
All of the men surrounding Batman are down and hurt, then the men that are left, put their guns down, knowing even with guns, that the Batman will beat them, and they raise their hands, and surrender.
Then Batman, uses the grappling hook, and then breaks through the ceiling and lands in:

BLACK MASK HQ, THIRD FLOOR:

Batman lands on the third floor, then quickly Black Mask takes a female hostage, and points the gun to her head, which is covered in a bag.
BATMAN (ANGRY): Let her go.
MASK: I could, but i need you to answer me this: Do you know who this is, 'Batman'?
Batman is silent, wondering what did he ask? who is that woman?
BATMAN: LET HER GO, or-
MASK: Or what? Take a look into her face-
Mask pulls the bag, revealing the woman is....Barbara Gordon!
BATMAN (ANGRY): Barbara? NO, no! If you do anything to her, i'll-
Then, out of nowhere, DEATHSTROKE breaks through the window, and then Batman doesn't have the time to defend himself, and puts the sword just inches away from Batman's throat.
DEATHSTROKE: I don't think you're in a position to be making threats.

END OF CHAPTER


EPISODE 3: "ZERO"
Plot:


Batman is captured by Black Mask and Deathstroke, and the battle continues on, when a major obstable is faced Batman's way, then things get harder. Batman gets a little help from a beloved character.



With all my undying love,
Mickeus

 

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GhostDog
GhostDog - 4/3/2016, 11:33 AM
I like it. Keep writing it's an interesting read
MonicaRappacci
MonicaRappacci - 4/3/2016, 3:16 PM
@Mickeus

Hiya, Mick!

Interesting chapter. I love the fight sequence but I think the overall chapter could use a bit more description and detailed a slight bit more... similar to you describing Batman and his cape flowed like "the dark wind".

However, something I gave noticed to:

Gordon sits in his chair, and talks to Batman.
GORDON: What is it?
BATMAN: The Mask.
GORDON: Black Mask? What about him?
GORDON: He's holding two or more people hostage, he's looking for me, and i am afraid he won't let them go, and i need some help.
GORDON: How much help do you need?
BATMAN: All of it.

The third Gordon should be changed to 'Batman', right?

Other than that it was a great chapter and I can't wait to see what else you do with Deathstroke and how Nightwing plays into the overall story. Also, the Barbara reveal was cool.

Can't wait to read the next chapter.
kong
kong - 4/4/2016, 4:43 PM
Nice chapter.

I agree that this story works better when ur more descriptive, right now it's very dialogue driven. I love dialogue driven stories, however the dialogue can be a little bland at times as the characters tend to have the same voice, which I assume is yours. Maybe just differentiating the vocabulary or style of speech from character to character would help define your character's more and make great lines from certain characters stand out more. Just look to any Tarantino movie for any reference.

Only other thing I'd say is work on the design. I'd space out your location headings from more from the line above them and less from the line below them. Also making them a different size could help. And centering the dialogue could also help make it easier to read and just more aesthetically pleasing. I've learned from being on this site 4 years now that if an article doesn't look pleasing to the readers it's immediately deemed bad in their minds and they click off, and while your formatting is already stellar compared to some of this site's users, making it even better could draw more readers. If you need any help with this just pm me.
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