This is written in a sort of script form: the character's name is on top of the quotes. Let me know what you think and what I could do to make it better.
Scene 1
It starts with a person’s arm holding a knife (in first person). He walks slowly to a door. He opens it. He walks outside and you a man sitting on a bench. He gets to the moan and taps his shoulder. The man turns around.
Man #1
“Oh it’s you, what’s up with the knife?”
It cuts to a 15 bags (in bird’s eye view) each with a different body part. A officer walks up to a man observing the evidence.
Com. Gordon
“What do we got?”
Detective #1
“What we have is a unidentified male.”
Com. Gordon
“Ok, but where’s the body?”
Detective #1
“You’re looking at it, all 15 parts of him.”
Com. Gordon
“Any leads?”
Detective #1
“No, nothing new yet, but all we know is that his limbs where cut off. All of them where clean cuts.”
A man running over.
Detective #2
“Sir, we found something new.”
Detective #2 hands Gordon a two plastic bags one with a cell phone, and one small piece of paper. Gordon takes the paper first and reads it out loud.
Com. Gordon
“Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men couldn’t put Humpty back together again.”
Detective #1
“What do you think it means?”
Com. Gordon
“Well I think it’s safe to say the John Doe over there is Humpty. Ok that him to the coroner. (Gordon gives the paper back to the Detective #2) What’s on the phone?”
Detective #2
“Nothing really it’s one of thoughts safety phones for kids they can only call and receive calls from one phone. They are usually bought with in pairs one for the child and the parent.”
Com. Gordon
“Can it receive messages?”
Detective #2
“Usually, why”
Com. Gordon
(shows phone to officer)”It says meet me at 8th and orchard. (He looks around) Well this isn’t 8th and orchard. So he must have killed and cut him into pieces somewhere else, but I want a unit down there to see what they find. Now about the phone can we trace the number that sent the message?”
Detective #2
“Negative, though the phone weren’t with a service plan. They must have bought a phone card.”
Com. Gordon
“Ok, go look to any place that sells them and see what you can get.”
Detective #2
“I already have a team on it”
Com. Gordon
“Good man, let me know what you find something.”
Detective #2 walks away. Gordon looks up at the sky then at all nearby rooftops.
Com. Gordon
“Where is he?” (Whispers to himself)
Detective #2
“Who should be here sir?”
Com. Gordon
“What, oh nothing let’s get going detective I got a call to make.”
Close Scene with Gordon getting in his car and driving away.
Scene 2
The scene starts with Zsasz running down an alley. He seems to be nervous. Sirens can be heard in the background.
Zsasz
“Crap, Crap, Crap”
He runs into a house when he is inside he looks out the window
Zsasz
“He was behind me. Where could he be?”
He runs into the kitchen and grabs a knife and runs out the backdoor, and is in the backyard. He go’s to middle of the yard and looks around.
Zsasz
“I know you’re out there bats! Show yourself”
Zsasz sees a something move in a bush. He gets scared and starts to back up. A dog runs out and Zsasz looks relieved. It shows Zsasz from a high angle. You can see batman’s head and ears. Batman spreads open his cape and glides down towards Zsasz. (The angle you see batman is from behind until he comes closer to Zsasz. When batman is closer it is a side angle of him gliding. Then right before batman kicks Zsasz in the head (with both feet)) When batman glides towards Zsasz. Zsasz has a terrified look on his face. Then when Zsasz is down batman handcuffs him and ties him up to a light post.
Scene 3
Title Comes up
During the opening credits you hear an interview on the TV (when the credits are done Gordon is watching the interview in his office).
New DA
“Thanks for having me”
Gotham City News Anchorman
“No problem, I have been trying to get you here for awhile to get you here for awhile now. So I’m glad we can finally talk. But first I’m sure everybody’s mind is the Batman. I know how….”
New DA
(Interrupting the Anchorman) “The topic on to many minds it seems.”
Gotham City News Anchorman
(Smiles and then continues) “Much you dislike him but there are people who want answers, and tonight maybe we can get through them. First off it is wondered by some citizens on what is being done on the batman.”
New DA
“I and the MCU are doing everything to bring batman to justice.”
Gotham City News Anchorman
“Ok, but some citizens say that he is doing good that he is cleaning up the city what do you have on the subject of people behind the batman and his stand for justice.”
New DA
“Well what do you say on it”
Gotham City News Anchorman
“Well I think that the batman is helping this city get out of a hole of crime.”
New DA
“Well your so called hero is breaking the law in the process of what people call protecting the city.”
Gotham City News Anchorman
“What do you consider protecting the city?”
New DA
“What the fine people at Gotham PD are doing.”
Gotham City News Anchorman
“Oh please half the cops on the force are either on another pay roller or cutting deals for a quick buck.”
Gordon angrily turns off the TV. When he turned it off you see batman’s reflection off the black screen.
Batman
“Sometimes I think you’re the last good cop in Gotham Jim.”
Com. Gordon
“You scared the crap out of me”
Batman
”Well you called me”
Gordon pulls out a red phone from his desk door.
Com. Gordon
“This red phone idea of yours is great. I can’t really use the signal with the new DA breathing down my neck.”
Then turns around and hand batman a file. Batman opens it and looks at it for a second.
Com. Gordon
“You know she doesn’t like you”
Batman
“I’m not here to be liked”
Gordon shrugs his shoulders.
Batman
“Was this tonight?”
Com. Gordon
“Yeah I just got back from the scene. Nothing for clues except for this.”
Gordon hands batman the piece of paper with the nursery rhyme
Batman
“It’s a nursery rhyme”
Com. Gordon
“Yeah it’s Humpty Dumpty. What do you make of it?”
Batman
“Well by reading the file it seems that he killed him according to the nursery rhyme. I’ll have to look into it. I have a guy for this kind of stuff.”
Gordon gets up and starts looking through his filing cabinet. (He has is back towards batman)
Com. Gordon
“Good good I’ll work on it too and we could compare notes or something. You know I would hate to think what nursery rhyme he’ll use next.”
Gordon turns around and look at batman but he is not there he sighs and looks down. Scene closes with a fade to black of Gordon.
Scene 4
Scene 4 starts with two detectives driving to pick up Zsasz.
Com. Gordon
(On radio) “Any units close to the alley on 16th street go and pick up something.”
Both Detectives look at each other and Detective #3 answers the radio.
Detective #3
“We are close we’ll go pick up whatever is there.”
Com. Gordon
“Good we’ll be waiting for you back at the station.”
Detective #3
“Sir if you don’t mind me asking what exactly are we going to pick up.”
Com. Gordon
“A concerned citizen has left us a present and I need you to receive it. Oh and use caution when you pick it up.”
Detective #3
“Over and out. (Hangs up the radio) Ok lets go.”
They drive in the alley and find Zsasz hanging from a light post. They both get out of the car.
Detective #4
“Don’t you just love it when he gift wraps it for us?”
Detective #3
“Hurry up man just cut him down. He gives me the creeps.”
Detective #4
“It’s the scars right. Yeah they freak me out too.”
The Detectives cut Zsasz down. But the Detective on the ground didn’t catch Zsasz. Zsasz falls (the camera zooms in on Zsasz’s face. One eye opens when he hits the ground.)
Detective #4
“Why didn’t you catch him?”
Detective #3
“Sure, and catch something while he falls on top of me.”
Detective #4
“Just pick him up.”
They both go and pick up Zsasz. They both grab him by each arm.
Detective #3
“Do you think he’ll wake up?”
Detective #4
“Nah, Batman usually roughs them up pretty good he won’t wake up till he’s back at his Arkham.”
You see Zsasz hand reach for the Detective’s knife. He pulls the knife out and kills detective #3. Detective #4 gets scared and pulls out his gun and fires. (He misses) Zsasz then kills him. You now see Zsasz cutting two lines (one for every kill). One on is thigh to make the fifth of the tallies. The second is on the forearm to make four. Zsasz Walks away towards the camera licking the blood off the knife.
Zsasz
“I got a special spot that needs filling and I know who’s going to fill it”
The Scene ends Zsasz walking towards the camera.
Scene 5
Scene 5 starts with batman walking to a big warehouse you see batman going around the back. It turns into a security film of batman going into the warehouse.
Riddler’s henchmen 1
“Let the boss know we have an unexpected guest.”
Another henchmen go’s and tell the Riddler that batman is breaking in. The Riddler is sitting at a desk with is back to the door. (Facing the wall)
Riddler’s henchmen 2
“Boss someone is trying to break in to the warehouse. We think it’s the bat.”
Riddler
“Of course its batman it’s always batman. Just take care of it. I got more urgent matters at hand.”
The camera panes around to the Riddler the camera is facing him but you still don’t see his face. You just see his hands and he is working on a rubrics cube.
Riddler’s henchmen 2
“You got it boss.”
The henchman runs out back to henchmen 1.
Riddler’s henchmen 2
“Boss said to take care of it”
Riddler’s henchmen 1
“Ok he gets on the intercom. (Into the intercom) We have a bat on our hands boys”
Riddler’s henchmen 2
“He’s coming from the back door we’ll cut him off.”
The henchmen run out into the middle of the main room facing the back. (Around 10 guys) Waiting for batman.
Riddler’s Henchmen 2
“Where is he? He should have busted through the door by now”
The Henchmen starts to look around.
Riddler’s henchmen 3
“Ok he not coming through here lets spread out and cover all sides.”
They all go to different spots of the warehouse. Batman is on the roof and see’s them spread around. He goes through a window. He is in a room batman go’s to the door and opens it then goes to the side of the wall near the opening of the door. He sees a henchman walking towards the door.
Riddler’s henchmen 4
“That’s funny I don’t remember this door being …”
Batman jumps out and grabs the henchman and knocks him out silently, Batman drags the henchman deep into the room so it will not be seen. Batman now walks out the door. He turns the corner and sees another henchman walk in away from him. Batman walks towards him and silently takes him down by kicking the back of the henchman’s leg to gain leverage to do a sleeper hold. Batman drags him around the corner batman came from.
Batman walks through the hall and looks in the rooms looking for the Riddler. He finds the Riddler and opens the door.
Riddler
“I see knocking is not in your nature vigilante”
The Riddler turns around.
Batman
“I don’t have time for your games Nygma”
Riddler
“Who’s playing vigilante.”
The Riddler throws the rubric’s cube. Batman throws the file on the Riddler’s desk.
Riddler
“What’s this?”
The Riddler picks up the file and leans back on the chair and putts his feet up while the reads the file. The Riddler leans forward then one of his henchmen opens the door quickly.
Riddler’s Henchmen 1
“Boss! (Out of breath) we searched everywhere but we can’t find …. Oh sorry”
The Henchmen slowly walks back and closes the door.
Riddler
“Ah, you just can’t find good help these days. I mean I told them to take care of you and look what happen. But you know all about that don’t you vigilante? Well back to the file I can see that…”
Batman
“He killed the victim according to the nursery rhyme”
Riddler
“My, my, my, do we actually have a brain beneath that pointy cowl of ours?”
Batman lunges over the desk and grabs The Riddler by his collar.
Batman
“Just tell me what you know. You must have heard something!”
Riddler
“My, aren’t we persistent.”
The Riddler breaks batman’s grip and dust off his shoulders.
Riddler
“Who do you think I am so half bit thug who’s afraid of the big black Bat.? But I will look into it because this is one riddle I wish to solve.”
Batman
“Just find be when you get something.”
Batman walks out the door and walks away. The scene ends with you looking at the Riddler sitting at his desk through a open door.
I'll put part 2 on later next week.