In preparation for Iron Man 3, I rewatched phase one. Let's do this quick:
Iron Man - 9/10
Easily the best of the franchise. A great story (a weapons manufacturer who realizes the destruction he is causing). A great villain (the other head man in the company who wants profits before peace). And it is Iron Man! This was the first big one and it was awesome. There isn't even a love story! It's not perfect, but the humour in this one is so much more natural than the cheesy jokes in a lot of the other marvel flicks. It is a little weird that Stark Industries doesn't actually begin to manufacture anything else, but that is more of an issue in IM2 than this one. This is a great movie.
Incredible Hulk - 7/10
I like this one, much better than the Eric Bana Hulk movie. A few problems though: the military wouldn't start a firefight on a University campus, and a high ranking military General wouldn't unleash a monster in a residential area to convince his daughter that she loves the wrong guy. Also, Bruce Banner actually has suprisingly minimal dialogue, the script for this isn't great and I hate the love story. And the big problem with ANY Hulk movie, there is yet to be one with a plot that isn't: Hulk smashes his way to a super happy ending. Still, as simple as that sounds, it is a highly enjoyable sci-fi nonetheless and complex enough, and I enjoyed how the Abomination was done. I really wish we had a movie with The Leader that they created here though.
Iron Man 2 - 5/10
This movie is huge on the action, but the plot is ridiculous. Rourke comes to America to kill Tony Stark because his father was ripped off by Howard Stark, but they don't actually return to this story (it is like "yeah, Howard Stark did rip him off, eat a dick"). Also Natasha Romanov is a joke (she isn't even Russian?) just a dumb slut that makes stupid jokes and sarcastic comments. An assassin of that caliber should take things a little more serious, but this complaint carries on with all SHIELD appearances in all Marvel movies. But the worst shit is that Howard Stark invented a new element in the past and left it in a hidden map message to future Tony. This makes no sense on so many levels that I won't even get into it. Dumb as ass, but visually great.
Thor - 7/10
As good as The Incredible Hulk. Regardless of Marvel affiliation, a great fantasy action movie. Loki is cool, a solid villain. Couple downers: Thor is just a model, his personality and dialogue reminds me of the Arrow cast. Also, the love story is dumb but it isn't the worst use of a love story, although I hated including the boob girl from 2 Broke Girls. All in all a solid fantasy action, with some meat-heads as actors.
Captain America - 3/10
Easily the worst of the franchise. First of all Chris Evans' head CGI'd onto a 12 year old body for the first 30 minutes looks RIDICULOUS. The first time I saw it all I could do was laugh. It is so cheesy. The dialogue is brutal. It is supposed to be a "period" film with up to date action, but it just comes off as an up-to-date action movie with the worst dialgue ever. Also, the first 60 - 90 minutes is boring, nothing really happens and the dialogue is so bad it will almost certainly put you to sleep. There is minimal action in this whole movie. And some quick points: Red Skull is corny, Bucky dies in a montage, Peggy Carter is an idiot and if this was really 1940 when women were just barely allowed to vote, she would not be a high ranking military official, and if she was a military official she wouldn't just be a dumb love interest bitch.
This movie blows.
The Avengers - 7/10
This is a fun action packed movie, with terrible dialogue and characters. We all know why this is a fun movie, the action surpasses probably anything we've seen to date. What are the negatives? Firstly, I hate how SHIELD is portayed. A top secret spy agency with clearance above CIA wouldn't be making silly sarcastic jokes and they wouldn't be so incompetent. Maria Hill should not be a moron. Plus the jumpsuits are ridiculous. No wonder the Armed Forces refused to have anything to do with this movie, and I'm worried for the MAoS series. Coulsen talks about Captain America trading cards; give me a break, these guys should be super professional. Also, the humour is awful. It doesn't work naturally like in Iron Man 1, it is forced jokes that are just so dumb. Nobody jokes while people are dying and The Hulk is a monster, not a comedian. Other than that, we don't really get into Loki's motivations other than "if he can't have Asgard he'll take Earth", which isn't a huge problem to us, but to people that have not seen Thor, it isn't done well. This should have been fleshed out a bit better. However for having as many characters as this movie does, it is a great time, just as enjoyable as TIH or Thor.
Iron Man 1 killed it. Thor, Hulk and Avengers are fun. Reading what I can about Iron Man 3, it sounds a lot more like 2 than 1, so I might just wait until I can download it. Feel free to talk mad shit about me in the usual place!
2013 so far:
Broken City 2/10
Cheech & Chong's Animated Movie 2/10
Gangster Squad 3/10
A Haunted House 2/10
The Last Stand 2/10
Movie 43 6/10
Superman: Unbound 3/10
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters 4/10
Parker 3/10