Welcome to Gears. The bar for cyborgs, androids, and robots. GEARS is filmed in front of a fully automated audience.
INT
Gears bar. A large square bar with multiple motor oil bottles behind it, in front of a mirror. Near the entrance side of the square bar, C-3PO sits alone, with a martini glass that has a colorful umbrella in it. Two chairs down from C-3PO, Sonny from "I Robot" sits, drinking from an oil can. On the opposite end Robocop sits next to the Terminator, who is in full Arnold Schwarzenegger appearance.
Behind the bar, Johnny Five from "Short Circuit" cleans glasses and refills drinks. Chappie with an old washcloth on his shoulder and apron is walking throughout the bar, bussing tables and doing dishes. Alpha from the "Power Rangers" walks about the bar as well.
SONNY:
"So Johnny, why did you call the place GEARS?" Winks.
JOHNNY 5:
"In order to make people aware of what customers would be served here. It was either GEARS or DYSTOPIA based on my desired clientele."
SONNY:
"Oh yeah? Dystopia? Does sound a bit depressing."
JOHNNY 5:
"Just like my customers. See, C-3PO? Built by a five year old. Who never had a father. Now you see why he acts that way. Terminator? Lives in a world where some guy is constantly yelling about the lighting. Robocop? He has to eat baby food. Chappie? Well, he's from South Africa, so that's practically dystopian. And you Sonny? You're from a future where Will Smith is a douchey robotic limbed hipster."
C-3PO:
"I take high offense to that good sir! My creator went on to become one of the galaxy's most feared and respected persons."
TERMINATOR:
"Yeah but he loses major credibility because he was best friends with Jar Jar and he compared his woman to sand. I think. He did that, right?"
ROBOCOP:
"I'd buy that for a dollar. Then demand a full refund."
SONNY:
"What do you make of all this news about police brutality Robocop? What would you have done?" Winks.
ROBOCOP:
"What would I have done? Shot all their dicks off."
SONNY:
"In other news, what did you guys think of the new Joker image?"
C-3PO:
"Atrocious. Simply foul. He looks like one of his henchmen from the Arkham games."
TERMINATOR:
"He looks fantastic! Plus he now has metal teeth. Maybe, for a twist, he turns out to be a robot!"
ROBOCOP:
"Stop trying to make everything as terrible as that Genisys trailer. Joker is no John Connor."
ALPHA:
"What're you guys talking about? I haven't seen any new pic of Joker."
JOHNNY 5:
"They released an image of Jared Leto as the new Joker. Here, Chappie, show him."
Chappie gets out his cell phone and shows the Joker image to Alpha. Smoke begins to come off of Alpha's head.
ALPHA:
"Aye! Aye! Aye! Aye! Aye!!!!"
Alpha runs toward the entrance, but he blows up right before the door.
JOHNNY 5:
"Chappie!!!"
Chappie face palms.
ROBOCOP:
"Be prepared as well Chappie. I'm going to have to take a 'Robocop 3' size dump in a minute."
Chappie repeatedly face palms.
THANKS EVERYONE!!!!!!!!