When Zombiegeddon strikes, many of us will be in shock. We won't be thinking clearly at all. Most of us will try to make sure our families are ok. With the exception of a few, I doubt anyone will be ready to kill the moment the dead walk the streets.
With a virus like this, it's likely that within a matter of hours there will be hordes of walkers attacking the living. So how do we stay 1 step ahead? How do we keep out of sight in order to stay alive? How do we camouflage ourselves and our families so as not to attract attention. In order to answer these questions, we shouldn't look at movies or tv like "The Walking Dead" or "World War Z", we should actually look at what current real world viruses do to humans and animals.
In "The Walking Dead", Rick and Glenn make their way through a zombie horde by covering themselves in blood and guts and walking slowly in order to appear as if they were actually zombies. But then something happened, it began to rain and the smell as well as the blood began to wash away, alerting the horde to their next meal. Then in "World War Z", Brad Pitt's character notices than anyone with a deadly illness becomes invisible to the zombies. Would these ways actually work though in a real life Zombiegeddon? I doubt it.
What we have to realize, is a Z-Virus would essentially be the same as Rabies or Mad Cow Disease. According to every tv show, movie or book about zombies; no matter if they're fast or slow zombies, the virus works the same. It attacks the nervous system. So, what parts of the body are affected when the nervous system is attacked? Well for starters the brain. A zombie isn't going to care if your sick or a zombie already, if it can see you it's going to attack you. Which leads me to my next point, what do rabies and mad cow disease do to an individual's vision?
If you think about it, you'll get it pretty quick. Both viruses cause hallucinations, delirium, massive headaches, etc. When you suffer a migraine, how is your eye sight? Light hurts your eyes doesn't it? You pretty much get tunnel vision, if it isn't 5 feet in front of your face it's more than likely going to be extremely blurry. Let's face it, many of us have smoked pot at some point in time or another, right. How did your eyes react to it? It feels like you're moving through a haze right. You just did something a second ago, but it seems like you did it years ago. Your eyes lock onto lights like a magnet to metal. It's very easy to hide from someone who's stoned, so why wouldn't it be just as easy to hide from a zombie out in the open? If you've never been high, think about how your eye sight is when you get drunk, I mean completely smashed and can barely walk. Yeah, a zombie would react to things the same way.
Tunnel vision, little depth perception, etc. These are all the things you can expect from your typical zombie. The easiest way to distract one if you're unlucky enough to come into contact with one, is to shine a bright light right at their eyes. They'll become fixed on the light and almost hypnotized by it. Now in the day light hours, this may not work but in the darkness, absolutely.
What other things do we know about the nervous system? We know that it controls your sense of smell. A zombie has no sense of smell, so it doesn't know if something's alive or dead, sick or healthy. If it's eatable they're going to attack it. Even if they could smell, chances are the only thing they'll be smelling is their own stench. I mean let's face it, have any of you actually been in the same room as a recently dead body? I can tell you from experience, you can't smell anything else other than that. What happens when a person dies, is the human body releases everything that's left in their digestive system. Urine, stomach acid, and fecal matter; anything that's inside you, comes out and it doesn't smell pleasant at all. If you still aren't quite sure what death smells like, go eat everything you have in your fridge including an entire pot of the spiciest chilli you can imagine, a dozen spoiled eggs and an entire bottle of ex-lax; then just lay in bed and wait for the fun to begin. No, don't use the toilet, just lay there and crap and urinate all over yourself. That smell right there is what death smells like. Now imagine walking around with that load in your pants all day, every day. You won't be smelling anything, after a while your sense of smell will be gone completely.
So class, what have we learned from today's lesson? That's right, during Zombiegeddon the best thing you can do to hide from zombies is to stay out of their direct line of sight, and feel free to stand or walk as close behind them as possible. If there's no other option that is. Also remember class, there's no need to feel safe if you have a deadly disease and there's absolutely no need to cover yourself in blood and guts, cuz all you're going to do is look like an idiot.
Until next time... If there is... a... NEXT TIME...