To start off, I'm a huge fan of the YouTube series Epic Rap Battles of History. Long story short, they inspired me to write this battle between two of my favorite online reviewers, and known personal rivals, AVGN and NC! Tell me what you guys think! BTW, I should mention that I wrote this before it was announced that NC was coming back, so a couple of the lyrics reflect that. Also, this was my first attempt at writing rap lyrics.
AVGN:
My name is the Nerd, and this is most absurd
Watch, as I crush this ugly-ass turd
You’re a whiny little b***h, not funny in the least
Come on man, a f***ing plot-hole made you deceased
I was in the reviewing game before you had your start
I’ll slam with you with my Power Glove and make you taste my own fart
This battle is mine, it’s the end for you
I’ll upload this later, and call it Kickassia Number 2
NC:
Hi, I’m the Critic, I remember it so you don’t have to
I’m gonna take my fist, and send it directly straight through you
Dude, why are you so obsessed with fecal matter?
As if your show couldn’t get any more sadder
I review movies, and you review games
Which one do you think is more respectable, James?
I’ll knock you to the ground, then shoot you with my gun
Then give all your change to Chester when I’m done
AVGN:
I’m gonna win this battle, just like I won the Final one
How many more episodes do you have? None!
My show is still going, with a movie to come
I’ll always be known as number one
I’m not alone in this battle of wits
I’ve got Mike and Kyle to back me up with their fists
I don’t need these glasses to see that you suck
In the end, you’re just a shit load of f**k
NC:
You may have those two, but I got more
I have Rob, Todd, and Linkara at your door
You’re better at fighting, but I’m better at rhymes
I snuck to your bedroom, and showed your wife a good time
I’m over and done with? Ha! I’ve got more plans!
But none that involve scamming cash from my fans
Here’s something you should know before you steal more money
“AV” plus “GN” equals “Not F***ing Funny!”
Who won? You decide!