Here is a list of some of Captain Auzzie's (Starring Sam Unworthyngton) attributes:
Scrawny neck, too scrawny to play Cap America.
Weak chin (Unlike Ackle's square jaw), too weak to play Cap America.
Whispy voice and Oizzie accent too thick to diguoise or to play Cap America.
Skinny stick arms, too skinny to play Cap Amer...(Aw, you know!).
Wears over-size half shirt & floppy Auzzie surf-baggies (That I actually saw a big dorky muscle-bound Australian surfer wearing at the beach.) which give him plenty of room to.......run like hell from all the critics yammering at him about Terminator: Salvation, that bombed and sent Terminator into bankruptcy!)
Kangaroo pouch for keeping his neato "Boomerangs O' Doom" in (Actually a couple cheap Whamo boomerangs that he robbed off an unfortunate kid at the park.).
And lastly, Romper-Stomper boots he uses to stomp them lousy Na...Na-a-ah the only butt he can stomp is wussies and skinny nerds!