Inspired by this scene from an episode of The Simpsons, titled "24 Minutes":
Here's what ensues when Bartholomew Jojo Simpson does the same to some of our favorite comic book heroes on TV.
Bart Simpson is about to call Moe's Tavern for another night of hilarious prank calls. As it's during a lightning storm, a stray bolt strikes the nearby cell tower, boosting the signal and causing Bart's "wires" to cross in a number of places. The following is the result.
#1: Star City--Oliver Queen, the Green Arrow, is taking on a group of thugs in a warehouse when he calls in to the Cave.
Oliver-Felicity, I need a layout of the warehouse, and I need it fast!
Bart-What the--who is this?
Oliver-I'm the Green Arrow, who the hell are you?
Bart-Me? I'm, uh, Ima Beeg Wahko.
Oliver-Felicity, get me everything you can on Ima Beeg Wahko. [Turns a bit towards the thugs.] DOES ANYONE KNOW IMA BEEG WAHKO???? [Sounds of snickering from the thugs.]
Felicity-Found her--small-time cat burglar. Not seen for a number of months, deals mostly in stolen jewelry.
Oliver-Doesn't sound so dangerous.
Felicity-That's 'cause she doesn't exist--you got punk'd, Ollie. (Did I just date myself? I just dated myself.)
Oliver-SONUVA--!! [Shoots three arrows at the thugs.]
Bart proceeds to cackle like a jackal and hang up.
Bart-Okay, good warm-up, now for the real sap.
Bart dials the number for Moe's Tavern again, but the sound of static is again heard as his call gets crossed with another signal.
#2: Central City--Barry Allen, the Flash, is squaring off with Captain Cold, Heatwave, and Golden Glider in an abandoned lot.
Barry-Cisco, Caitlin, kinda cornered here--any bright ideas?
Bart-Huh? Who's talking?
Barry-Uh, it's Barry, the Flash--who am I speaking to?
Bart-Er, I'm--[in a stereotypical supervillain voice] 'The Pooper Scooper', mwa-ha-ha-ha!!
Barry-Guys--did you--?!
Cisco-Workin' on it.
Barry-Hurry! [Turns to the three Rogues.] Have any of you seen the Pooper Scooper? Anyone?
[Cold, Heatwave, and Glider stop firing their weapons, look at each other briefly, and fall over laughing.]
Caitlin-Got something--new meta, popped up a week ago, really disgusting power I will NOT get into.
Barry-Really?
H.R.-Nope, you just got played, Bar. I should know, I did it all the time in high school.
Barry-You've gotta be kidding me! [Speeds up and quickly ties up the still-giggling Rogues, frowning and embarassed.]
Bart guffaws in glee and hangs up.
Bart-Okay, okay, from the top.
Bart dials Moe's Tavern again, but once again, the signals get mixed.
#3: National City--Supergirl is facing off with some alien bank robbers, while in communique with the DEO.
Supergirl-I've almost got this wrapped up guys, no sweat!
Bart-Say wha? Who's this?
Supergirl-It's Supergirl, who else? Wait--who're you?
Bart-Um, I'm...Mai D. O'Derant. I'm a bit lost, I could use some help here!
Supergirl-Don't worry, I'll be right there as soon as I can. Winn, can you triangulate the location of Mai D. O'Derant? [Looks around at the crowd and continues to deal with the alien robbers.] Hey, does anyone know about Mai D. Oderant??? Anybody??? [All of the crowd, robber and civilian alike, start giggling upon hearing her. Kara gets a confused look on her face.] What? What'd I say?
Winn-Got her--she's a hiker, got separated from her friends a couple of days back.
Supergirl-Huh--sounds easy enough, no problem.
J'onn-Actually, there is a problem--she's not real. Someone's pulling your leg there, Kara.
Supergirl--WHAT? Oh, COME ON! [Proceeds to knock out the robbers and tie them up. Some civilians are still giggling as Kara, blushing, flies off.]
Bart laughs hard and hangs up.
Bart-All right, all right, that was fun, but time for the main course.
Bart dials Moe's Tavern again, but the signals get crossed again.
#4: A HYDRA outpost--SHIELD agents Coulson, Quake, and Mack are in a shootout with some HYDRA goons, with Simmons on comms in the Zephyr. Daisy's at a computer terminal trying to hack into their network.
Coulson-Simmons, need an exit, STAT! Do you read?
Bart-Do I--okay, who's this?
Coulson-This is SHIELD agent Phil Coulson, who the heck are you?
Bart-Well, I'm uh...Harry Butz, saboteur for hire.
Coulson-Simmons, start pouring through every criminal database for pictures of Harry Butz. [Turns to Daisy, shouting over the gunfire.] Daisy, any Harry Butz associated with HYDRA?!?
Daisy-Say WHAT NOW???
Mack-You serious, Phil?
Coulson-Whaddya mean, am I serious? Simmons, anything?
Simmons (sternly)-Agent Coulson, you cannot be seriously asking me to do this--you know Director Mace has those kinds of websites blocked.
Coulson-Blocked? What're you talking abou--OH FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD. [Turns and empties a clip into a HYDRA goon, and then puts his finger on his earpiece.] Listen you, if I ever find you I am going to tie you to the back of a Quinjet and take you water-skiing across the Arctic Ocean!
Bart laughs in triumph and hangs up. He then dials once again, and this time successfully reaches Moe's Tavern.
Moe-Hello, Moe's Tavern--World's Greatest Watering Hole.
[Bart pauses for a bit, then gets a thoughtful look on his face before deciding.]
Bart-...Meh, on second thought, I'm good for tonight. [Hangs up.]