Greetings All! I've been watching, writing, and reading alot about hated comic book movies. And I thought I'd write a little about it. What is the deal breaker? When it comes to comic book adaptations, for as much as we love them, for as good as they get, there's still been lots of things that was stupid, didn't make sense, or just plain pissed us off. In short, one way or another, Hollywood found a way to make something suck.
This article isn't meant to inflame- it is simply a curiosity. I decided to ignore the low-hanging fruit of stinkers like Ghost Rider or The Spirit. I also thought it pointless to go down the road of the CBM Dark Ages (The Phantom, Tank Girl,etc) and all the clumsy adaptations from 25+ years ago. I've picked 13 of the most common complaints I've heard from recent CBMs, and I wonder who the worst offender is. The following Comic Book Movie Crimes are listed in no particular order, and if there are any other terrible things I'm forgetting, be sure to let me know.
1. Bane ain't nothing but Talia's bitch
The Dark Knight Rises is an extremely polarizing movie. The Final Chapter of Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight Trilogy went about as ambitious as it could, but might have crumbled under the weight of Nolan trying to outsmart his audience one too many times. As the director is wont to do, there was a 3rd act twist, and in it, we learn the film's anarchist heavy, Bane is just another soldier, superseded by the true heir of Ra's Al Ghul, his daughter Talia. Miranda Tate's misdirection fooled no one, but what might have annoyed viewers most was how much bite it took out of its biggest dog.
2. The New Johnny Storm "Issue"
Don't kill me for this! But a controversy is a controversy, and I'd be remiss if I didn't discuss the latest casting of Josh Trank's Fan4stic Four. Time will tell if this character will be loved, but the outrage over "black-washing" a traditionally white Johnny Storm has been hard to ignore. This has opened up a larger conversation/argument about minority roles in comic books, but detractors stand pretty firm on the idea that this is unnecessary attention that may hurt the movie. Altering the fundamental relationship between blood relation for the sake of being a 'modern family' seems like they are trying too hard.
3. Emo/Hipster Spiderman
You don't need to go far to find a fan that has a problem with Spider-Man 3. Hero-goes-dark is a classic sequel trope, especially in comics. Sam Raimi's threequel seemed to think this meant winking nods at what a geek like Peter would think is edgy or cool. Parker proceeds to shimmy and shake his way through half a film that already had too much going on. Even more discouraging is that the character's transformation is intrinsically linked to the Venom storyline and the ultimate mishandling of one of the Wall-crawler's most popular foes. The crime: The hair. The dancing. The eye-liner. Take your pick.
4. Fake Mandarin, F*ck You
Yet another trilogy pops up. This time the culprit is Iron Man 3. In perhaps the most infamous swerve in CBM history, Tony Stark's #1 foe, a character that started as an offensive stereotype and was brilliantly re-imagined as a gritty Bin-Laden esque terrorist, turns out to be a dweeby actor. Gone was the syncing up of many of the weapons-dealing themes, and instead of bringing Iron Man 1 full circle, the entire sanctity of the archvillain is turned into a big fat joke. The miscalculation was so bad, Marvel decided to retcon that whole idea with a short called "All Hail the King" in a feeble attempt at damage control.
5. Cyclops screwed in the X-Men movies for Wolverine
Can I get an 'Amen!' It is common knowledge that Scott Summers is the leader of the mutant hero team. But for the sake of the films, Wolverine started as an entry point into this world, and wound up the face of the franchise. This might not have been so bad if Cyclops still got ample screen time. But this just didn't happen. He became more of a road block in the way of Logan's romance with Jean Grey, and role had diminished so small that he was unceremoniously killed offscreen (in yet another threequel!) for X3: The Last Stand. Sure the actor was off making another movie, but the character deserved better.
6. Galactus the Cloud
In another prime example of Hollywood not knowing what to do with a comic book villain, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer would see the ominous Galactus, eater of worlds, as a massive storm cloud. If you remember that opening weekend, that was the day you heard the collective face-palms of millions of fans around the world. I can understand the concerns about the believability of a giant man in a funny helmet, but this was not the answer. All that build up for nothing.
7. The fail that was Green Lantern
This is a crime simply because the Green Lantern is one of the coolest superheroes around. This was DC's unnoficial first chance at building a universe to rival Marvel's, and it seemed like all the pieces were in place. An accomplished director, an all-star cast, and all the money to bring a Star Wars-esque world to life. So what went wrong? It's hard to even pin point one thing really, (Sinestro not being the main villain certainly didn't help) but nothing came together. Now, Green Lantern is an embarrassment in the WB library.
8. Superman being super-depressing
DC tried again with its Superman reboot, Man of Steel to get that DC universe up and running. For better or worse there's no turning back from the ground work laid here, but there is a sizable contingent that feels Zack Snyder's operatic tale was a little too dour- both for their tastes and for the character himself. Superman is normally an uplifting, inspiring icon, and this contemplative, somewhat dark take on the character didn't mesh with what they wanted to see. We won't truly know if this approach paid off until we see how the sequels pan out.
9. Sony's handling of Amazing Spider-Man. All of it.
Let's turn our attention to Sony now and their defunct Amazing Spiderman movies. This entire situation was problematic from the start. Both the too dark and too-soon reboot and the over zealous world-building of its sequel showcased a studio that was so obsessed with franchising that they didn't stop and take a look at what they were doing wrong. This is a huge crime because there are good things from some of the cast here, and it is all totally wasted and mishandled. There's no way not to be wrong about this, because the character is literally being rebooted yet again.
10. Hiring Joel Shcumacher
One could argue without Batman & Robin we would never have got Batman Beings. That 'glass half full' disposition is always nice, but it doesn't make a bad movie less bad. There are some unforgivable sins in Schumacher's Batman movies, especially his second effort. Batman Forever has some interesting ideas, and did find success, but I was still a huge Burton fan, and pretty much hated what I saw with the movies that followed. I'm getting a little personal on this one, but I have a problem with every single creative decision made in Batman and Robin.
11. What X3: The Last Stand claimed to be "The Dark Phoenix"
Joining an already crowded list of mishandled characters comes the transformation fans had been waiting for since the teaser image at the end of X2: X-Men United. In X-Men 3, Jean Grey reaches her full potential and finally becomes The Phoenix. But in this version, it is merely a dark alter ego; I guess Hollywood just thought a god-like flaming spectral entity would be too much. Full disclosure: this change didn't really bother me that much. I was still too nad about Cyclops!
12. That's supposed to be who??
Probably taking the cake for completely botched translations, the Merc with the Mouth, Deadpool was turned into an uber mutant hybrid by the end of X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Lippy smart-ass Ryan Reynolds got the gig, a casting so inspired, Fox is looking to give him another shot with a Deadpool solo 'do-over'. But if remakes don't stop originals from existing, neither will this new film. We can't unsee Origins' complete character assassination.
13. That Catwoman exists
'Nuff said.