Why the MCU Sucks

Why the MCU Sucks

Here is an extremely in depth editorial on why the Marvel Cinematic Universe movies are some of the worst I have ever seen.

Editorial Opinion
By DannRamm113 - Jan 31, 2015 06:01 PM EST
Filed Under: Marvel Comics

After the original Iron Man/The Incredible Hulk, the Marvel Cinematic has been the same garbage story, with the same garbage sequel set up and nerd references to hold us all over forever.  The sooner we realize this the sooner we evolve as a species.  That is right.  I just said that the fate of humanity depends on humans actually getting smarter and realizing that Marvel is not great.  They are passable (some movies, not all).  Quantity does not equal Quality.  Here is why:


Marvel villains are all horribly written, and not even threats.  None of them make so much as an impact on the world, and are defeated in some of the worst ways possible.  I am including Ronan, Malekith, Mandarin, Whiplash, The Abomination, and yes, even Loki, along with every other villain.  Some of the laziest writen characters i have ever seen.

Now, if you actually read the first two paragraphs, I urge you not to read on.  After this is just a whole bunch of my past editorials that have nothing to do on why the MCU sucks.  I am not the biggest fan of marvel films, but they are not the worst movies I have ever seen.  Basically, I just want to see how many users on here actually read articles instead of just the title and teaser.  I apologize if you think I wasted your time.  And if you actually did read it, I would appreciate not saying in the comments this is BS, and thumbing this so that I know you did read.  Again, I am sorry if I did waste your time.

Okay, maybe "fanboys" wasn't a great title.  There is a difference between a fanboy and a nutcase afterall.  But, for now I am refering to them as fanboys.  Being a fan of comics is great.  Loving a character is great.  Loving a movie is the best.  But there is a line that has been more than crossed.

I understand the disapointment of a movie where the hero is potrayed badly.  I understand not loving a movie.  But here is the thing: blame the movie, the studio, the actors, the writers, whoever.  But do NOT use that as justification for not liking a new movie, that could in fact be a second chance to do things right.  If not for the absolute hate of Batman and Robin (which was well deserved), the DCCU might not have taken a long time to get started.  Here is why:

Let's say that we're back in the year 2000.  Warners is considering releasing a movie based on Wonder Woman!  The problem: none of us would have watched it.  The internet would go insane "from the studio that brought us Batman and Robin!  No way I'm watching this, it will be filth!".  It took years for WB to come back with The Dark Knight Trilogy, and there are still people that think they have no idea how to do a CBM!  I mean, I get it, Green Lantern wasn't great, some of you don't like Man of Steel.  But The Dark Knight Trilogy taught Warner's one thing: how to not care what fanboys say online.  If that didn't happen, then maybe the 65 thousand people that signed the "No Affleck for Batman" petition wouldn't have wasted their time.

Here's something else about fanboys: if you love a character, but feel that he won't be potrayed "correctly" (or whatever the hell you guys think "correctly" means) you guys will root for the film to fail.  That is sick.  I am a DC fan, but I don't say dumb things like "My god, I hope Avengers 2 gets horrible reviews and bad box office preformance!".  That is called hate, and that is what fanboys rooting for Sinister Six and Fantastic Four to fail are doing, hating.  I mean, any rational fan would be like "I can't wait to see how Sinister Six does!  Maybe it could be interesting."  But instead we get "Revert to Marvel".  Congratulations, you Marvel Fanboys actually found a way to turn Marvel into subsections, with you hating on one or more!

Again, I understand loving a character, and having reservations about a movie.  But fanboys take it to a new level.  They are the reason the comic book movie genre will die, not "oversaturation".  I mean, I know that me writing this is actually pointless, since no one will change, but hey, I had to tell fanboys how stupid they are.

It would be kind to say the reaction to Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor was mixed.  However, everyone is curious to see it.  There also seems to be many questions on his appearance.  Will he go bald?  Will he have hair that he loses?  Will he not lose his hair?  All of this might have just been answered from a new picture.

An new set picture from "Now You See Me: The Second Act"  has just been released online, and shows off the cast, including Jesse Eisenberg.  As you can see, in the picture he has a very thin hair line.  Did he perhaps get a haircut, or is it growing back...

Okay, so Avengers:Age of Ultron is on everyone's most anticipated films of 2015 list, usually only topped by Star Wars.  We've had two trailers, set pictures, toy photos, and interviews.  Surely we should know something.  Here is what we know:
1)  Ultron is the villain.
2)  There is tension amongst the team members.
3)  Scarlet Witch, Quicksilver, and Vision are joining in on the fun.
4)  Hulk vs Hulkbuster
5)  Wakanda will be visited in some capacity.

That, for the most part, is what we know about the plot.  With less than four monthes until the film, that is what we know about Avengers:Age of Ultron.  Honestly, that scares me.  We know more about Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice than we know about this movie.  Many are saying that this is "keeping the plot underwraps to avoid another The Amazing Spider-Man 2".  But here is the thing, there is a difference between saying too much and saying too little.  Also, a movie should have a plot to be teased.

Here is the synopsis for Avengers: "With S.H.I.E.L.D. destroyed and the Avengers needing a hiatus from stopping threats, Tony Stark attempts to jumpstart a dormant peacekeeping program with Ultron, a self-aware, self-teaching, artificial intelligence. However, his plan backfires when Ultron decides that humans are the main enemy and sets out to eradicate them from Earth, and it is up to Iron ManCaptain America,Thor, the HulkBlack Widow and Hawkeye, along with support from Nick Fury and Maria Hill, to stop him from enacting his plans. Along the way, the Avengers encounter the powerful twins, Pietro and Wanda Maximoff, as well as the familiar Vision."


That is what we know.  That is basically saying "The Avengers are fighting Ultron."  That is not a plot.  That is a log line that some executive was pitched.  We should know that there is a plot and stakes.  Not just that the heroes are fighting the villain.  And that brings me to my next point:  The Hulk vs Hulkbuster fight is so far the only real fight we've seen.

Don't get me wrong.  I've seen The Avengers fighting the Ultronbots.  But the real fight is the Iron Man vs Hulk fight.  That is the one that has been hyped the most (this is one big troll article btw...).  That makes me fear that Ultron will receive the continued Marvel Villain experience and won't be the real threat.  He is already a robot that wants to kill.  How many villains like that have we seen in the past?  Marvel Studios should be trying to find a way to differentiate him from other robotic killers.  The trailers should be hyping him up, and how the Avengers are going to be struggling to stop him.  Instead, we get a few cool lines from James Spader, and a lot of sped up scenes of Ultronbots (I don’t know the real name of his “army”) some fighting, and mainly the Iron Man/Hulk duel.  I’m saying this here: if the final battle in Age of ULTRON is Iron Man and Hulk I am going to be pissed off, and probably, so will a lot of you guys on the site.

Other than that, I think that this movie will be filled with set up.  We’ve seen it happen before, a movie just being set up for an Avengers film.  But this time, and I hope this won’t happen, I think they’re using an Avengers movie to set up another movie.  And what is this movie?  Civil War.  The whole thing with everybody getting pissed off at Tony Stark will get overblown to hell and back, making it so that whatever causes the conflict between Captain America and Iron Man can happen for Civil War.  In other words, this movie will turn Iron Man, who has been the hero since Day 1, into the bad guy.  I mean, there are benefits to setting up some conflict early, but if this movie were to end with tension amongst the heroes and an unstable allegiance that would make sense.  But if this movie does what I think it does, it would mean that Civil War actually begins in this movie.  Meaning that the entire film, while probably entertaining, is just a trailer for another Marvel movie.  This happened already in Phase One with Iron Man 2 (and to a lesser extent, Captain America: The First Avenger), and in 2014 with The Amazing Spider-Man 2 and Sinister Six.  The point is, we don’t need a two and a half hour long trailer for Captain America: Civil War. 

Yup, so that is why the Marvel Cinematic Universe sucks!  
Thanks for reading everybody!  If you enjoyed, thought I may have said something smart at one point, show some love and hit the red thumb!  Peace out.
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MarkyMarkRises
MarkyMarkRises - 1/31/2015, 7:20 PM
Sucks is a really harsh word. Birdemic sucks, Hellraiser: Revelations sucks, the MCU does not suck. It's just of low and uninspired quality a lot of the time. Every now and then, we get a strong one (TWS, IM...), but overall it's not what most people make it out to be
RobGrizzly
RobGrizzly - 1/31/2015, 7:22 PM
So....click bait? And then you want a thumbs up?
Pasto
Pasto - 1/31/2015, 7:23 PM
Uh-huh.....sure....

*Goes back to extinguishing matches with his testicles*
DannRamm113
DannRamm113 - 1/31/2015, 7:23 PM
@RobGrizzly
There is a MUCH bigger thing going on. Trust me.
MarkyMarkRises
MarkyMarkRises - 1/31/2015, 7:24 PM
^ I've seen it happen. That shit is amazing

LEVITIKUZ
LEVITIKUZ - 1/31/2015, 7:30 PM
You wanna know who was a bad villain in his first appearance?

Darth Vader.

No seriously. Look at Vader in just A New Hope. All he does is yell at the stormtroppers and beat an old man. Sure he looks [frick]ing badass but at the same time, a group of meddling kids and their wookie manage to sneak aboard your Death Star and steal your prisoner. Then later on, your Death Star got destroy but the meddling kids.

Vader wasn't a good villain until Empire Strikes Back came out. In Empire we saw Vader lead the empire on a manhunt against the rebels. Destroying the rebel base on Hoth. Chasing the Falcon. Tricking Han into trusting Lando. Hiring bounty hunters.

When you look at Empire, the whole plot is very simple.

All Vader wants to do is confront Luke by any means necessary.

Vader chasing his friend, kidnapping his friends, knowing that the rebel base is where Skywalker is.

Empire Strikes Back made Vader become a great villain.

In A New Hope, Vader didn't get much development. Most of it went to introducing Han, Luke, Leia, droids, Chewie, rebels, Imperials, Obi-Wan.

Then in Empire Strikes Back, it's all about Vader. It's really a Darth Vader movie.
TheRanger
TheRanger - 1/31/2015, 7:37 PM
Now this kid just gets it! Fantastic Job
Lhornbk
Lhornbk - 1/31/2015, 8:06 PM
Yeah, I try so hard to be nice, then someone puts up crap like this. Definitely not giving this a thumb, my comment will prove I read the first few paragraphs. Contrary to what many seem to think, you don't necessarily have to have a great villain to have a great cbm. Now yes, Malekith was lousy, and TDW was lousy. But Loki was a great villain, and Iron Man and TFA were both fantastic movies precisely because they focused on developing the heroes, not the villains. TIH did the same, although it wasn't quite as good. TWS didn't truly have one main villain (no, Bucky was not the main villain, frankly he was more of a henchman) and it was the best solo movie yet.
PAF
PAF - 1/31/2015, 8:12 PM
Once I saw this title I knew who wrote this. It must be real sad to be so obsessed with a property you hate so much. You are so pressed. Please do something progressive with yourself because these pathetic ass "think pieces" is not a good look.
DannRamm113
DannRamm113 - 1/31/2015, 8:17 PM
@PAF

thanks bruh, preciate it!
sikwon
sikwon - 1/31/2015, 8:17 PM
Lol read the whole thing. Don't agree but to each his own.
PAF
PAF - 1/31/2015, 8:20 PM
@dannramm113

Just lookin' out
the
the - 1/31/2015, 8:21 PM
Dann It, Ramm!
You 113'd Another One.

You covered MCU villains, MCU fanboys and some rant on AoU.
Again, is that all?
MileHighRonin
MileHighRonin - 1/31/2015, 8:49 PM
To each his own.

I am glad you finally made an article on your opinion instead of trying to be coy about your dislike for Marvel.

I disagree with you, but it doesn't mean a thing, cause it's all about opinion. I am just very glad you finally did the article you have been wanting to do instead of the other backhanded stuff you were doing. Come out swinging, not slapping.
DannRamm113
DannRamm113 - 1/31/2015, 8:52 PM
@MileHighRonin

So glad you said that
SauronsBANE
SauronsBANE - 1/31/2015, 8:54 PM
Looks at title.

Looks at author.

Looks at past articles by afore-mentioned author.

Sees that infamous "Why the Word 'Fun' is the Worst Compliment you can Give a Movie" article.

Remembers that it was a load of shit, mostly concerned with being defensive about Man of Steel and ragging on Iron Man 3.

Realizes this all makes perfect sense now.

Disregards entire editorial without bothering to read.
SauronsBANE
SauronsBANE - 1/31/2015, 8:54 PM
(Just in case anyone wanted a little window into my thinking process here)
Kurne
Kurne - 1/31/2015, 8:56 PM
" I am a DC fan, but I don't say dumb things like "My god, I hope Avengers 2 gets horrible reviews and bad box office preformance!""

No.

Just things like

"why the MCU sucks"

"Yup, so that is why the Marvel Cinematic Universe sucks!"
SauronsBANE
SauronsBANE - 1/31/2015, 8:57 PM
Goes back and reads article out of mindless curiosity.

Confirms that this, indeed, was a massive waste of time no matter how you slice it.

Reevaluates life and vows never to click on such obviously dumb editorials in the future.
DannRamm113
DannRamm113 - 1/31/2015, 8:57 PM
@Kurne

glad you read THAT part...
imkennypowers
imkennypowers - 1/31/2015, 8:57 PM
MileHighRonin
MileHighRonin - 1/31/2015, 8:58 PM
@DannRamm313 Honestly, I enjoyed your article. I always do, regardless difference of opinion. I gave thumbs up, I love the twist you added. Much better than the Mandarin twist, no One Shot needed to fix it.
SauronsBANE
SauronsBANE - 1/31/2015, 9:02 PM
@AlexanderLykins That's the sad part haha. Normally I'm obsessively compelled to engage trolls and prove them wrong with facts and logic...but this isn't even worth it to me. No use in arguing here, and certainly no fun in it either. It's just...a waste of space. How depressing.
imkennypowers
imkennypowers - 1/31/2015, 9:04 PM
@SauronsBANE

This reminds me of Patton Oswalt's "deleted tweet apology" experiment we discussed earlier.
DannRamm113
DannRamm113 - 1/31/2015, 9:06 PM
@SauronsBANE

you sure you dont want to counter argue all of the points i've made??
Kyos
Kyos - 1/31/2015, 9:07 PM
SauronsBANE
SauronsBANE - 1/31/2015, 9:08 PM
@ImKennyPowers Lol! It's actually eerily and uncannily similar, I'll give you that haha

@AlexanderLykins Haha let's hope you're right!

@SoulofWakanda That it is. That it is...

@dannramm113 Trust me, I'm good!
Wolf38
Wolf38 - 1/31/2015, 9:11 PM
Thumb this? Hard no.
SauronsBANE
SauronsBANE - 1/31/2015, 9:11 PM
@AlexanderLykins I've been using this gif a lot lately, but it just fits in with so many situations here haha!

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