I've had this idea for a while now and I've finally sat down and made it happen. It's part Fan-Fic, part Fight Club, part Chose Your Own Adventure. I apologize if I forgot anyone who feels they should've been included [@ teaabag @HawksBlueEyes). Here goes.........
The planet known as CBM is in danger of being destroyed by the all mighty world-eater, Galactus (Jim). Not to be confused with Galactus (Marvel). This Galactus gives the planet a chance for survival by pitting it's greatest warriors against one another in a tournament to see who is most worthy to face him in a fight to determine the fate of the planet. Having traveled the universe for eons, the battles are the only thing that can still entertain the neigh omnipotent titan. With the world devourer looming, our warriors have gathered for the opening round of the tournament, high above the surface on Mt. Cape.
COMBATANTS |
| Mark"RorMachine"Cassidy | EdGross |
| HelaGood | WolvieCBM |
| WaylonJones | VideoColor |
| VicSage | TheGoddamnBatman |
| Selina Kyle | <Ruben |
| PollMaster | PaulRom |
| nuck82 | mikenew |
| Matthew"Ozymandias"Wallace | luffycapri |
| LP4 | LEEE777 |
| JoshWildling | Jolt17 |
| Grif | Ecksmanfan |
| DCMarvelFreshman | darkknightlegend |
| Comedian03 | batcavepwnsphonebooth |
Galactus likes to start things off with a bang so he always selects two of the planets heavy weights to do battle first. He determines who is strongest by using a scanner to assess each warrior's
strength (# of Article Submissions), speed (# of Comments), intelligence (CBM Membership Length)and energy projection (# of fan sites). However, Galactus knows that he cant rely on these qualities alone to determine who's the most dangerous. There are also intangibles such as
Article Content, Site Presence, Grammar, Spelling, and Popularity that simply can't be measured by numbers and facts. Suddenly, two warriors catch Galactus' eye without need of the scanner. On impulse, he decides that the opening round of fights will be as follows:
Mark"RorMachine"Cassidy vs. EdGross
The combatants are stunned to see these two powerful warriors selected to fight in the opening round. Known throughout the world of CBM for their tireless heroics these two are more likely to work together, not engage in mortal combat. Still, our heroes know what's at stake and promise each other not to hold back. Ed starts off with a powerful energy blast from his Kryptonian ray gun and sends RorMachine flying. Staggering to his feet, RorMachine then lets off a successive barrage of cannon fire from his Tony Stark designed armor and buries Ed in rubble. All is quiet for a few moments, but RorMachine isn't fooled, he knows Ed wouldn't go down so easily. Suddenly, the ring starts to rumble and Ed escapes the rubble using his most powerful weapon,
Voices of Krypton, a powerful sonic scream that's been known to destroy his opponents in milliseconds. RorMachine was ready for it though, he took to the skies escaping the radius of the blast and hit Ed with his Repulsor Ray, leaving only a charred remains.
Grif vs. LP4
Grif and LP4 are as different as cats and dogs. Grif is a wild, savage animal that destroys everything in his path that he deems to be sh*t. LP4 is a thinker and master planner. Knowing what a powerhouse Grif is, LP4 simply steps into his TARDIS and teleports away. Even Grif says that was pretty cool.
Pollmaster vs. LEEE777
Pollmaster, king of fighters. His hand-to-hand prowess in unmatched. Daily training since the tender age of 2, this fighting fanatic lives for battle. LEEE777 just loves boobs and only fights to impress the ladies. LEEE777 was able to hold his own until he was distracted by Helagood's bountiful bosom and had his skull cracked by Pollmaster's Vibranium Pole.
Selina Kyle vs. nuck82
Ms. Selina Kyle, femme fatale. Her power lies in her ability to simply ignore you. Any attack by her opponents is simply ignored and she feels nothing. Nuck was unaware of this and fired off attack, after attack, after attack only to be stunned when they simply rolled of Selina like falling rain. In a desperation attack, Nuck calls upon the power of CBMTrolls and inks out a last second victory with the power of Awesomeness.
Galactus is very pleased by today's events, with the exception of LP4's classy departure. This slightly worries Galactus, as he senses this may have a significant impact down the road. He announces the fights for tomorrow and bids the warriors to rest for the evening.
DCMarvelFreshman vs. JoshWildling
DCMarvelFreshman is young but he has skills. Bitten by a radioactive jewelry maker and bestowed with the awesome strength and agility, which is powered by a ring that harnesses his indifference, Freshman fights crime in New Coast City, with his girl friend, Mary Jane Ferris. Much of what Freshman knows about fighting comes from Josh Wilding, the Wild Man. With his super speed, he posts his opponents into the ground before they even know it. Freshman gave a good accounting but in the end, the student was unable to overcome the master.
Matthew"Ozymandias"Wallace vs. batcavepwnsphonebooth
Ozymandias had a quick victory over batcave-pwns-phonebooth. Thinking to overcome his adversary by producing kryptonite, he was stunned when it had no effect and was quickly taken out. Ozymandias just hopes the other combatants never learn that he was the one that summoned the alien devourer of worlds in an effort to unite the planet against a common enemy.
VicSage vs. luffycapri
Luffycapri was a tournament favorite, having spent many years training on Turtle Island with weighted clothing, Luffy has grown up to be a powerful warrior. Perhaps a little too strong, though. While powering up his Ki, his power level went over 9,000 and he exploded. VicSage tipped his at and sauntered away.
ruben vs. thegoddamnbatman
The goddamnbatman won because the goddamnbatman always wins! Just accept it.
Galactus thoroughly enjoyed the latest battles, however his hunger is growing and he has many ideas for how to increase the pace of Round 2. For now, he simply announces the fights for tomorrow and bids the warriors to rest for the evening.
HelaGood vs. WaylonJones
WolvieCBM vs. Comedian03
PaulRom vs. mikenew
VideoColor vs. Jolt17
ecksmanfan vs. darkknightlegend
(Link)
Galactus is pleased with these developments!
Be sure to cast your vote. I'm always happy to have contributors.
If you think you have a funny write-up of how the battle between 2 CBMers would go, please email me the story and I will include it in the round synopsis!
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