Tyler Perry Offered Directing Position for Next James Bond Film; Cuba Gooding Jr. to Star
By Ben Urich
In a move that surprised absolutely no one, studio executives associated with Sony Pictures have offered the directing chair of the next Bond outing to the master of suspense, Tyler Perry. Perry has recently broken his silence on what fans can expect. "Expect a whole new direction," he cackled. "Something that's never been seen before from the Bond legacy. We're going to go to a place no other Bond film has gone before; we're going back to his roots. He's going to find out his parents are still alive and living in Louisiana. He's finally going to meet a strong woman who won't give into his charms; a woman who he's really going to have to work for. And then he'll fight bad guys with big judo chops. And he'll kick stuff. It's going to be really awesome."
Perry also spilled the beans on his future Bond, Cuba Gooding Jr. "There's no other man I'd want for the job. Cuba is a sensation to work with. His turn in
Snow Dogs was really something to behold. I can't wait to get him in that tux." When asked about the plot, Perry couldn't hold it in. "It'll follow James as he travels across America, tracking down an economic terrorist who preys on dying churches. I'm not pulling any punches, here, and that's why Morris Chestnut will be the villain."
Perry also went on to say that this Bond film will feature the series' first "gender-bending" role, but did not give further detail. He did say that fans won't have to worry, as both Chris Rock and Chris Tucker will be portraying techno-genius Q, who has been split into two separate people by "magic science." Also joining the cast are actors Steve Harvey, Tyler Perry, Damon Wayans, Tyler Perry, and Tyler Perry.
When asked about his possible inclusion in the upcoming project, fan-favorite for the secret agent, Idris Elba, began to cry the manliest tears you've ever seen, while falling to the ground spread-eagle and calling out for the depths of hell to "take him as quickly as possible because oh, god, oh, god why why why."
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