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Wolverine's gearin' up to leave the X-Mansion. He's got his bags packed and he's loadin' up the Humvee for the drive to JFK. As he loads the car in the driveway, Nightcrawler spots him from a third floor window and decides to head down and make conversation.
*BAMF*
Kurt- Guten Morgen, mein freund! I see you are all packed for ze trip, yah?
Logan- Sure am, even bringin' ma own pint mug, case some asshole tries ta take mine.
Kurt- this is good. Uh, have you heard from Remy lately?
Logan- Can't say I have, why?
Kurt- Oh, nussing, he's been gone a vile is all.
Logan- Well, I'll keep my eyes an' ears open.
Logan opens the driver's side door of the Humvee.
Kurt- I vill see you next week, Logan.
Logan- Unless some bad guy messes up my vacation, you can bet on it.
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Dublin airport. Seán Cassiday awaits the arrival of his good friend, Logan. He holds a placard with "metal-man" written on it. Logan appears from the Arrivals gate.
Seán- Ah, dair y'are Logan. I was worryin' maybe yer flight was delayed.
Logan- Nah, just late.
Seán- Who did yeh fly with?
Logan- Ryanair.
Seán- Dat explains everything, so. Right, c'mon, we've got alot o' pubs ta drink outta business.
Logan- That's the kinda attitude I like my friends to have.
Remy- Eeeeeh! Logaaaaaahn! 'Ow goes it my fri(flem)end?
Logan drops his head in disbelief.
Logan- Remy, what the hell are you doin' in Ireland.
Remy- Well, Rogue dumped me. Left me to dry like a... Towel.
Seán (to Logan)- Should we bring 'em along?
Logan- No! If he ruins my week off with depression and skirt chasin', you'll never live it down.
Seán- Why is it my fault?
Logan- It isn't, but I'll blame you.
Remy staggers toward an attractive blonde.
Remy- You like card tricks? (he flashes his card deck at her and does some fancy shit)
Woman- Uh, I guess.
Remy- Watch this, chére, I'm gonna blow your mind.
He charges up a card, then puts the rest in his pocket.
Logan- Oh god, not this.
Seán- What's he doin'?
Logan- Watch.
Remy places the charged card into his pants. Logan and Seán look on in disgust, as does the blonde. The card glows through the fabric of the pants. Slowly the card moves through the pants.
Seán- Is he...?
Logan- Yep. He's moving the card.
The card finally stops. Remy reaches into his pocket and pulls out a ful deck with the glowing card on top.
Remy- Est voi lá! What'd you think, chére?
The blonde runs away.
Logan- It's gonna be a long week.
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I'm gonna leave a shit tonne of other options down here, and you can request one for my next Funhouse.
Daredevil loses a case
Luke Cage babysits
Reed Richards does the bring your father to wok day
Dr. Doom redecorates
Magneto in a silverware store
Deadpool has a date (I couldn't resist)
Cap and Iron Man go fishing
Punisher and the internet forum
Venom auditions for a soap opera
Thanos discovers Facebook (In the style of my previous Funhouse, Galactus discovers Twitter)
Moon Knight watches Arrow
Silver Surfer and Super Skrull discuss alliteration
D-Man makes a comeback
Captain Britain runs for Prime Minister
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As always, leave your requests in the comments section below and be sure to give me some feedback on what you just read too. Any and all feedback is welcome. See you guys next time in the Funhouse.