Excuse me if i have grammar or spelling mistakes, i don’t live in an English-Speaking country.
Wow, i’m so excited for this movie. I have watched every trailer, tv spot and featture for this. This is so important to me. It’s going to be AWESOME. Looking forward to some Iron Man action sequences like the one in Iron Man 1 when he kills all of the terrorists. Ok, ok, silence. It’s starting, and it’s a flashback of 1999.
Hello, Chen Lu, Radioactive Man! That’s it? Okay, then. Goodbye, Radioactive Man!
Yes! Let the Iron Man action begin! Wait... Those colours. No yellow and red classic? No? Okay.
Alright! Mandarin! Cool. Looking forward to an Iron Man-Mandarin standoff.
A nobody in the comics was involved in Pepper Pott’s past.
Rhodes is now Iron patriot. Well, at least we will be getting a cool action scene of him... right?
Great. Stark has parked an armour that has the classic colours outside a cafe. Hoping to see you again?
Hello Firepower! (Now Extremis is a drug???) Bye bye firepower.
Some more Mandarin. Awesome. Still waiting for the moment.
Now Stark’s friend is another nobody.
Killian kidnaps Pepper? Well, i guess Mandarin is resting inside his base.
Still looking forward to some cool villains.
Ellen Brandt is a villain in this movie???? Yo what the ffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!! What the? I mean, who... who is this lady anyways? Why do you waste an opportunity to introduce a new Iron Man villain and use Ellen f*cking Brandt? Relax, relax, it’s okay, it’s okay. At least we are going to see Iron Man finally punch someone in the face.
No Iron Man action? No? Really? Just Stark? Ummmmm... I guess later.
Killian spits fire out of his mouth?????
Yes! Iron Man is going to go to Mandarin’s house to punch him in the nuts and stop his evil schemes! :D No? Just Stark? Really? Again? What the hell man? (This sucks)
Haha “Bloody Hell!” Haha. Funny. Now let the Mandarin action begin. What? Wait, I... I don’t understand. Oh, yeah, he is a double.
... Wh...? The mandarin is not re...? Wait, but... Trevor? No. Naaahhhh. Nononononono. Is this some kind of Iron Man comicbook story arc? Plot moves forward? Really? Yes? Oh. <<Brain processing what i just saw>>
Killian is talking about the actor thing and i still can’t believe this. Kills Maya Hansen, nobody gives a f*ck.
Aldrich f*cking Killian is a main villain of an Iron Man film. I mean... What the hell?
Tony is fighting again without his armour. This movie should be called Tony Stark with a gun: The Movie.
Mandarin? Is that you again? Is that you? You’re watching football? Mandarin? Please? Answer!!!
Am i in some kind of nightmare?
Yes! Iron man against a foe! Finally! This Extremis guy on the plane! Oh, he is not wearing Rhodes armour? Ok, at least we are getting an action scene. And... What? That’s it? He’s dead? Well, at least Tony is wearing his armour (Hint, hint).
Cool rescue scene! I guess now... Woah! That truck just... Then where is he? Tony? What? NOOOOO!!!!
The film is almost over but i guess there will finally be some more Iron Man action aside those 30 seconds of the armour with no Tony inside vs the Extremis guy.
Rhodes and Tony together, with no armours, with guns...
Yes! Tony is calling his armours! “Tony, can i get one too?” Yes! War Machine! War Machine! “No, these only work with me”. My goodness, why?
The “Hulkbuster armour”. Give me some action. No? He’s just going to hold that thing? The heartbreaker armour! Awesome. No. Wait. Did it just blow up?
Tony has defeated “Aldrich Killian” (my god, the more i say it, the more i feel dissapointed). At least we got some action of Iron Man defeating a bad guy. Wait, he’s alive. He is going to say something, i feel it’s going to be important. There is only one more word left to say. I am the... Oh, come on!
Tony Stark’s girlfriend has superpowers and has saved the protagonist... Is this even real? What the hell is this, a prank?
It’s new year’s eve and... Explosions?? Nooo!!! What is this thing??!! Why is he doing this?! Stark has no arc reactor anymore? Is he retired? What does this mean?
Mandarin is going to jail... Mandarin, Mandarin, you still have a chance to reveal that you are real! No! Come back!
All right, relax, everything is alright. There’s still a chance for everything to have a sense of existence. Let’s just wait for the end credit scene for Thanos or Mandarin or... Oh come on!!!
Now let’s just wait for the film to arrive to America and wait for the people to hate this movie. What??? It was the best Marvel movie? Better than the Avengers?? The Mandarin twist was mindblowing? NOOOOOOOOOOOO...
(I wake up and everything is a nightmare) Oh, thank god. Let’s go to comicbookmovie. What is this article? Miles Teller is not Mr.Fantastic, confirmed! Great. :D
Thanks for reading. As always don’t forget to insult me in the comment section below (if you don’t say “sigh fanboy sigh” you’ll get reported, actually). I am BaronZemo.