Hello this is my step by step guide on how to make a proper editorial. Listen up closely because this is valuable information that doesn't suck. I also can not fully guarantee your safety if you abide by these steps. Remember don't talk to strangers but only if it's necessary.
1. Find a Unicorn and Feed it a Banana - - That's right get out there and find some Unicorn and give it a banana. You want instructions to find one go look over the rainbow next time it rains. Once the Unicorn finishes the banana it will give you valuable information on how to find this article but oops you are reading the article now. So you have to then travel back in time and forget about this article and somehow remember to find a Unicorn and feed it a banana. Got that?
2. Go in the Middle of Nowhere and Get Hammered - - Just walk outside for miles on miles end and go somewhere in the middle of a desert whatever. Then some magician appears in front of you with a case of beer. You may think it's an illusion from dehydration but I guarantee you it's not. So just drink that brew till your done then it should be night time (If it's day time wait till night time). Then walk a few miles further north and you should find a car waiting for you. Hop in the car and then suddenly the car starts to fly, it's normal. The car takes you to this kingdom where you will meet the king. Then the king invites you to a party and you get hammered more. Then you hop back in the car and the car flies back to where you were in the desert or someplace. Then find your way back home and write about your personal experiences which will be used to motivate you to write whatever editorial your writing.
3. Get a Picture of a Dog Eating a Hot Dog - - You may think it sounds simple, but I am not talking about a hot dog in general. Long Silent Awkward Pause. Well the dog has to be eating a, hot dog. Look any dog you find hot is a hot dog. Then there has to be this other dog eating the...well you get the point. Then frame the picture and put it on your desk. Then have moments each day where you just simply stare at the picture and think about the current state of your life. Mental therapy is not recommended.
Once you follow these guidelines then you have the proper tools needed to motivate you through to writing the editorial of your dreams. Thank you for reading!
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