FAN-ticizing: Re-booting 'RETURN OF THE JEDI'

FAN-ticizing: Re-booting 'RETURN OF THE JEDI'

George Lucas is tweaking his movies once again. But there's one that needs more than tweaks- it needs a re-boot!

Editorial Opinion
By headlopper - Sep 17, 2011 09:09 PM EST
Filed Under: Fan Fic

Star Wars: return of the Jedi needs a re-boot. There are so many implausibilities that it's down right distracting. Let's start with Luke confronting Jabba. First of all , a Jedi NEVER willing separates himself from his light saber. Moreover, if he didn't want it to be seen, he could have hid it on his person. If you noticed, he was never searched by Jabba's goons. Also, if he wanted to , he could have fought his way through or snuck in at night, got Han and left using the force to disguise his presence. He could have also brought with him a squad of rebel soldiers who would feel obligated to help Luke after all he's done for them previously. So there were better ways to rescue Han that made cinematic sense.

Secondly on Degobah Yoda tells Luke that only a fully trained Jedi ,with the power of the force as his alley can defeat Vader and his emperor, yet he tells Luke in 'Jedi' ,"no more training do you require. Know now all that you need." Luke says: "So I am Jedi", but Yoda corrects him saying that only after confronting Vader will you become a Jedi. WHAT? He's says in 'Empire ' you can't defeat the two if your NOT a fully trained Jedi, and then in 'Jedi' he says confront Vader then you will be a Jedi. Do you see the contradiction?
Third the Emperor tells Luke that he has a legion of his BEST troops on Endor. A legion is between 3000 and 6000 men. And he said his best! troops. If any have watched the 'Clone Wars' animated series or played 'Battle Front' you know these elite clone troopers are very professional and lethal, so I ask you:
HOW ARE LITTLE TEDDY BEARS WITH STONE AGE WEAPONS GOING TO EVEN REMOTELY KILL EVEN ONE TROOPER! Now the storm troopers have THE BEST weapons the Empire can supply especially because of the seriousness of the mission and the gravity of protecting the new Death Star.

The Rebels have maybe 20 guys plus Han and Chewy(Luke was rendered useless in their defense because of his surrender), so they weren't a real threat. Plus the Empire had 'Chicken Walkers ' too.

Moreover, the time span between Han and the rest being captured and C-3p0 taunting the storm troopers to chase him in the woods ,which is something a disciplined unit would NEVER DO, that is to abandon their post to chase a harmless, unarmed droid into the woods, is about 2-3 hours at best. Now how are stone age teddy bears going to cut down about 20-30 VERY LARGE trees with stone tools. It would probably take 20-30 of them just to cut down one, and take at least 2 hours. So here they have all these very large logs cut to size behind a barricade on a hill(somehow they moved them through the forest) to be released when a Walker passes. They somehow also, in just a couple of hours mind you, hoist two giant logs about 40 yards into the tree canopy which wight about 2-3 ton each easy . It is UTTERLY impossible!

Now the storm troopers have armor, yet it provides zero protection against...you guessed it...rocks! And rocks thrown by teddy bears. C'mom man!
Fourthly, the whole Leia as Luke's sister thing is bogus. Lucas never intended her to be that 'other person' Yoda mentioned to Obi-wan on Degobah saying, "there is another" in 'Empire'. If he did, he wouldn't have had that kissing scene with Luke and she on Hoth. This was a lazy plot devise. Whoever Lucas had in mind to be the 'other' could had helped Luke in some way and be a foundation for the next movie. But NOOOOOO, we get some creepy incest scenario.
Finally, Anakin's ghost. Wrong! As Darth Vader , he,and I quote Obi-wan on Tattoine: "He(Vader) helped the Empire hunt down and destroy the Jedi...". He was responsible for countless deaths! How can he , by killing the Emperor redeem himself and thus be found worthy to stand next to Obi-wan and Yoda. Damn Lucas, Vader killed Obi-wan! Just Obi-wan and Yoda's Ghost should have visited Luke during the celebration.
If Lucas insists on changing the classics, then re-boot 'The Return of the Jedi'.
Thank you for your time.

About The Author:
headlopper
Member Since 5/6/2011
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m1312020
m1312020 - 9/17/2011, 10:58 PM
I have to agree.I disliked returns more then the prequels.
Denn1s
Denn1s - 9/18/2011, 4:01 AM
not even one SW film needs a reboot. especially the originals (i love the prequels too), but you are right. ROTJ is weak compared to ANH and TESB. lucas originally intended instead of ewoks (i hate them) to have wookies against the empire on kashyyyk (and not endor) but 20th Century Fux decided that ewoks were cuter and would attract more kids...[frick]ing merchandise politics...and lucas obeyed....
gamecreatorjj
gamecreatorjj - 9/18/2011, 7:33 AM
[frick] no, return of the jedi was a classic, no matter what anybody says, it was great, not as good as the last 2, but still great, at least the plot made sense, and it had likable characters unlike the prequels, they need to preboot the franchise, redo the prequels, keep the originals in continuity. get someone who understands the modern science fantasy genre, like JJ Abrams of Neil Blokamp
soundwave129
soundwave129 - 9/18/2011, 8:12 AM
Even though ROTJ was one of the worst SW films (behind The Clone Wars and Attack of the Clones), it should not be rebooted, no SW film should.
Rhys
Rhys - 9/18/2011, 12:03 PM


Literally one of the most idiotic articles I've seen on this site.

Sure, 'Jedi' was the weakest of the original trilogy, but it wasn't a BAD movie. It was certainly better than the prequels.

And in 'Empire', Lucas had intended for the "other" to be Leia the whole time. It wasn't a "creepy incest scenario", it was an innocent kiss to make Han jealous, not because there was a real attraction between Luke and Leia.

The article is just your idiotic ramblings about something you don't seem to know as much about as you'd like people to think, but for some reason you have to complain about it.


I would say more, but this pretty much sums it all up for me:



You're entitled to your opinion, but at least make your argument sound reasonable, valid and intelligent.
sexymuppet
sexymuppet - 9/18/2011, 12:40 PM
@soundwave

i wouldnt really consider the clone wars as an actual star wars film though, but star wars:clone wars, the cartoon from 2005, was the cat's pajamas
CorndogBurglar
CorndogBurglar - 9/18/2011, 8:50 PM
wow, over-analyze much?
CorndogBurglar
CorndogBurglar - 9/18/2011, 8:54 PM
"How can he , by killing the Emperor redeem himself and thus be found worthy to stand next to Obi-wan and Yoda."

Because by killing the emperor he brought balance to the Force. If he hadn't killed the emperor, then Palpatine would have killed Luke, and the Empire would have never been defeated. I think that earns him redemption. Also, it was him finally returning to the light side and ultimately winning over the dark.

I think maybe you don't know as much about Star Wars as you think. Regardless of your past crimes, the Jedi are always willing to forgive someone who is honestly seeking redemption from the Dark Side.
Caedus137
Caedus137 - 9/19/2011, 1:24 AM
"a Jedi NEVER willing separates himself from his light saber" - Yes he does if it's part of a PLAN.

"he could have fought his way through or snuck in at night, got Han and left using the force to disguise his presence" - He's a Jedi, not a burglar. He wanted to negotiate Han's release legitimately.

"HOW ARE LITTLE TEDDY BEARS WITH STONE AGE WEAPONS GOING TO EVEN REMOTELY KILL EVEN ONE TROOPER!" - Lucas has stated on many occasions that this was a comment on Vietnam, where a technologically inferior people drove off and defeated a heavily armed military.

"The Rebels have maybe 20 guys plus Han and Chewy...so they weren't a real threat" - Special Ops / infiltration teams are a lot less than 20-strong. They were supposed to SNEAK in and destroy the shield generator, not take on the entire f.ucking Imperial Legion...

"How are stone age teddy bears going to cut down about 20-30 VERY LARGE trees ...which "wight" about 2-3 ton each easy . It is UTTERLY impossible!" - These traps / perimeter defenses WERE THERE THE WHOLE TIME. They just SPRUNG them on the Empire.

Dont forget to do your Maths homework school tomorrow Kiddo, and make sure your Mammy tucks you in tight so the monsters under your bed dont get you.




kriswone
kriswone - 9/27/2011, 1:11 PM
Ungrateful, thoughtless, WAIT, this is flame bait shit right? If you were serious... nah nah you weren't being serious, oh you, you are such a jokester!

NOW KNOCK IT OFF.
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