In the early 2000's, the Mel Brooks classic film The Producers got a second life as a blockbuster Broadway musical, which was then adapted into a 2005 hit film. Young Frankenstein was the second film-to-musical (and I'm sure there's a movie in the works), also a smash hit. And now, it's time for another Brooks film to get the same treatment. Blazing Saddles can wait, I'm talkin' about his 1987 sci-fi superspoof, Spaceballs.
(This counts, since Spaceballs spoofs a whole slew of sci-fi films that had comic books.)
I honestly think that Spaceballs and Blazing Saddles would make great musical comedies, with Spaceballs for the screen and Saddles for the stage. For now, I'll stick with the sci-fi. I'd include among the songs an update of the Spinners' "We're the Spaceballs" and, to open the scene on Spaceball 1, the theme song from the 2008 Spaceballs animated series.
My cast is bound to make you laugh, cry, scratch your head, or even roll your eyes:
For the good guys, we have
Josh Duhamel as Captain Lone Starr
Duhamel was chosen for his roles in "Las Vegas" and the Transformers films. I'm confident he can do the role originated by Bill Pullman justice, and handle his Schwartz quite well.
Jack Black as Barf
Black is a very, very funny actor in most of his roles, and I think he could do great paying tribute to the late John Candy. I also chose him since he sang "Men In Tights" at Mel Brooks' receiving of the Kennedy Center Honors.
Katharine McPhee as Princess Vespa
McPhee was chosen because of her singing voice and her current role on the NBC drama Smash--but I'm sure she'd do okay in a comedy. Just imagine the look on her face as they threaten to give her back her old nose!
Fran Drescher as the voice of Dot Matrix
Drescher would be the perfect vocal successor to Joan Rivers's yenta of an android. 'Nuff said.
Jackie Mason as Yogurt
There isn't anyone I couldn't have thought of more fitting for the role of the wise master of da Schwartz than the guy who plays Krusty the Klown's rabbi father. He could do great filling in for Brooks. He's even been in one of Brooks's films before--he was one of the torture victims in the Spanish Inquisition segment of History of the World, Part I.
For the bad guys, we have
Mike Myers as President Skroob
Not only does Mike look like the guy if you slipped a similar 'stache on him, he has the chops to play a bad guy--Dr. Evil, anyone? Throw me a frickin' bone here! Myers IS Skroob!
Fred Armisen as Dark Helmet
Armisen was the best I could come up with for filling in Rick Moranis's big helmet. His comedic experience on both SNL and Portlandia would do wonders for the role of Skroob's #2.
John Krasinski as Colonel Sandurz
When I was thinking of who to cast as Sandurz, Krasinski immediately came to mind. He's a good subtle comedy actor, AND he almost looks like the guy. He's almost the perfect straight man to Armisen's Dark Helmet.
Gina Carano as Commanderette Zircon
Carano's had a taste of action film roles thanks to Haywire--let's see if she's tough enough for a comedy to play the 'all business' subordinate of President Skroob in an outer-space spoof!
Simon Pegg as Snotty
I picked Pegg as a nod to his role as Scotty in J.J. Abrams's Star Trek film from a couple years back. You do the math.
Jason Sudeikis as Major *Bleep*hole
He's got the comedic timing for this, AND he can also play the Major's cousin, Gunner's Mate First Class Phillip *Bleep*hole.
Rainn Wilson as Doctor Schlotkin, with Kate Upton as his nurse
Wilson would look absolutely sinister as the rhinoplastic surgeon used to get Vespa to talk...and with Kate Upton as the nurse...you know the rest.
Alphonso McCauley as the radar operator
I really liked his character on Breaking In, and I just know he could make that same magic Michael Winslow did in the '87 film.
Nathan Lane as the Captain of the Guard (who captures the heroes' stunt doubles)
Lane is a very hilarious actor, as evidenced by Mouse Hunt and his turn as Max Bialystock in both the stage and screen versions of The Producers (the musical). He would ace this guy's lines, I promise!
And finally, the other characters
John Goodman as King Roland
Goodman would be good in this role, especially when he tells Lone Starr to try and save not only his daughter, but also her car.
Armie Hammer as Prince Valium
The guy's recently played a prince in a film spoofing a genre--why not do it again?
Al Pacino as the voice of Pizza the Hutt
Pacino would be GREAT parodying the mobster roles he's played, and do a great tribute to the late Dom DeLuise. Only I'd swap out Space Bucks with Starbucks--it's a good pun, AND even greater product placement.
Brad Garret as Vinnie, Pizza's right-hand bot
Garrett has a really distinctive voice and the right height for this metallic gangster. Believe me.
And what movie remake wouldn't be complete without original cast member cameos?
-Daphne Zuniga as a newscaster reporting Pizza the Hutt's death
-Mel Brooks as the minister presiding over the wedding (a nod to his role as Rabbi Tuckman in Robin Hood: Men In Tights)
-Bill Pullman as the diner victim ("I thought this only happened to John Hurt!").
-Joan Rivers as the computer voice of Spaceball 1
-Rick Moranis as the Spaceballs Merchandise Showman (showcasing such Spaceballs merchandise as Spaceballs the Ipad cover, Spaceballs the Facebook page, Spaceballs the Fruit Snacks, Spaceballs the graphic novel adaptation, Spaceballs the rocket launcher, and, most important of all, Spaceballs the videogame).
-Michael Winslow as the Alien (singing James Brown's "I Got You (I Feel Good)").
That's it, folks! Comment away! And may da Schwartz be wit' you!