Everything Wrong With Darren Aronofsky's NOAH

Everything Wrong With Darren Aronofsky's NOAH

You're gonna need a bigger boat. The delightful folks over at Cinema Sins have set their sights on a new "Everything Wrong With" target and this time it is Darren Aronofsky's biblical epic, Noah. Hit the jump to check it out.

By nailbiter111 - Dec 09, 2014 09:12 AM EST
Filed Under: Fantasy
Source: Jerad S. Marantz

I gotta say, I'm a bit surprised to learn director Darren Aronofsky ("The Fountain") has been doing a lot of press over the past few weeks trying to drum up interest in Noah for awards consideration. I'm not gonna debate if the film should or should not be considered for such and such award in such and such category. My point is, I never thought of Aronofsky as a director that would be concerned with how many nominations one of his films receives. Maybe this new "Everything Wrong With Noah" video from Cinema Sins will make Aronofsky rethink his aggressive campaign strategy.


NOAH is a close adaptation of the Biblical story of Noah’s Ark. In a world ravaged by human sin, Noah is given a divine mission: to build an Ark to save creation from the coming flood. The screenplay was written by Darren Aronofsky and Ari Handel and revised by Academy Award®-nominated screenwriter John Logan (GLADIATOR, HUGO). Scott Franklin and Aronofsky of Protozoa Pictures, along with Mary Parent of Disruption Entertainment, will produce the film. The film will be executive produced by Ari Handel (BLACK SWAN), Arnon Milchan of New Regency and Chris Brigham (INCEPTION, ARGO).

Noah is directed by Darren Aronofsky ("The Wrestler"), and stars Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Emma Watson, Ray Winstone, Logan Lerman, Douglas Booth and Anthony Hopkins.
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MarkyMarkRises
MarkyMarkRises - 12/9/2014, 9:27 AM
Even the bible thumpers would find this movie to be stupid and inaccurate
MercwithMouth
MercwithMouth - 12/9/2014, 9:31 AM
Can this even be called a biblical epic? It was changed so much to be based on Aronofsky's French graphic novel...Does it even resemble Noah's Ark? Or is Evan Almighty closer to the real story...
gaikinger
gaikinger - 12/9/2014, 9:32 AM
I found the movie entertaining. I tried to look at it as a sci-fi explanation for the most rediculous tale in the Bible. Went in expecting to be disappointed but left pleased. I'm Agnostic by the way.
Starfox
Starfox - 12/9/2014, 9:35 AM
That fire sword thing at 2:06 was Dope! I'd really like to see Aronofsky Direct a CBM one day.

I think he's been up for a couple
tokens
tokens - 12/9/2014, 9:37 AM
that whole "Creation story" scene was amazing
MercwithMouth
MercwithMouth - 12/9/2014, 9:40 AM
@Starfox

He was originally attached to do Wolverine, I believe. I know Jackman wants to do one with him.
Starfox
Starfox - 12/9/2014, 9:42 AM
@Merc

Whoa didn't know that! That would've been cool. I like Mangold's version but now I wish Aronofsky had done it lol
mctrinket
mctrinket - 12/9/2014, 9:45 AM
Better version of Noah here:

SauronsBANE
SauronsBANE - 12/9/2014, 10:01 AM
I remember when the users here were in an uproar that this site would dare cover this movie, never mind that the director had previously done a comic book movie and that Noah is based on a graphic novel. All the comment threads on this topic would then turn into massive religious debates that were led by a couple notable trolls.

Good times.
CWBNGAJEEPGUY85
CWBNGAJEEPGUY85 - 12/9/2014, 10:07 AM
I find it unsettling that an atheist directed this film. Realizing that it is based off of a graphic novel, but that was based off one of the best biblical teachings of the Old Testament. I for one believe the Holy Bible is correct in its teachings and I am aware that I will catch plenty of flack for that, too.
If someone is going to make a film based on anything, at least try and keep it accurate.
nikgrid
nikgrid - 12/9/2014, 10:26 AM
Ummm everything from the opeing credits through to the closing credits. This was a shitty film, just f.ucking awful, and anybody who thought it was a good film is just wrong.
ThedamnBatman
ThedamnBatman - 12/9/2014, 10:27 AM
delightfull? hardly...
GothamSon
GothamSon - 12/9/2014, 10:28 AM
What happened to the Samson and Delilah remake Fox were doing?

Dwayne Johnson for Samson. Calling it now.
mctrinket
mctrinket - 12/9/2014, 10:45 AM
Is CWBNGAJEEPGUY85 serious?

What about the part in the Noah story in the Old Testament where Noah gets drunk and has sex with his two daughters--is that a good teaching too?
TankD
TankD - 12/9/2014, 10:54 AM
@CWBNGAJEEPGUY85 pssst your living a liiiiie.
henniedebeer
henniedebeer - 12/9/2014, 11:19 AM
I was deeply disappointed in this film. I'm deeply religious and don't think it deserves any awards - it shouldn't even be considered for any. I'm with @CWBNGAJEEPGUY85 - an atheist shouldn't have directed this, and never mind the graphic novel, the name of the story implies the biblical tale, which he should have respected even if he doesn't believe in it. The Prince Of Egypt was more accurate than this thing, and was the main reason I swa it. On DVD. I wasn't stupid enough to see it in cinema.
SuperCat
SuperCat - 12/9/2014, 11:22 AM
Saw the first 10 minutes of this movie and lost interest.
CWBNGAJEEPGUY85
CWBNGAJEEPGUY85 - 12/9/2014, 11:28 AM
I'll admit there are stories and writings in the Old Testament that make me scratch my head. I can be honest about that. And I respect everyone's opinion. I have my own. And I'm certainly not going to say because I live a specific lifestyle I'm better than anyone else. Even the savior washed the feet of his followers. So who am I to say I'm right and you're wrong? I just feel that if you are going to direct a film based on biblical teachings then you need to have a passion for the source material
THEDARKKNIGHT1939
THEDARKKNIGHT1939 - 12/9/2014, 11:44 AM
CinemaSins sucks
Asmodeus
Asmodeus - 12/9/2014, 11:55 AM
TheDarkKnight1939 hit the nail on the head. CinemaSins sucks. Please stop giving them views so they can go quietly go away.
osideous
osideous - 12/9/2014, 12:02 PM
Everything wrong with Noah: It was Made.
case
case - 12/9/2014, 12:18 PM
Must be a short video coz this cluck was AWESOME.

One of the best of the year.
Blastaar
Blastaar - 12/9/2014, 12:34 PM
Anthony Hopkins...LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE THE DUNGEON MASTER...
JamesMan
JamesMan - 12/9/2014, 12:35 PM
I wonder if the bible thumpers and normal average people were aware this film was an amalgamation of the multiple versions of the Noah's ark story and not just the Christian one.
StarkillerII
StarkillerII - 12/9/2014, 1:40 PM
@RetroFit He did get drunk though. That was probably one of the very few things i noticed that was accurate.
StarkillerII
StarkillerII - 12/9/2014, 1:42 PM
@MercwithMouth This movie had the accurate design of the ark.
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