Hello,
Mickeus here. Now, exclusively
TheCrazyWanker. (This is a parody article, some parts are just pure parody, some aren't, cool? So, unless you're Margot Robbie, don't get your panties in a twist).
In my other account i posted my review for The Room..er, i mean Suicide Squad, although the Room's better. Kidding. But let me just say, if you're looking for a good time in the movies, then..
You're gonna have a heck of a time, but if you are going there like a hipster on his high horse then you will hate it, guarranted. I am in a weird situation right here: i mean, i don't want to agree with the critics because they're wrong, the film is not worthy of such a low-score.
It's a fun film that summer audiences will love, because it's the kind of film that's perfect to watch on a chill summer night out with your mates, man. Now, mate, i am gonna say one thing: the film's f*cked up. Not in the tone, but the editing is atrocious, things happen and they don't show us, characters pop up from nowhere and the second and third act are like...
I mean, there's no second act, just one continuous fight with some other shit thrown in. I was like this in the theater...
Well, that's that. Plus, Harley is a talking-walking ass shot in the film. I lost count of how much ass shots they had of her. Jesus, David Ayer you're a perv. My mate was always trying to loosen his belt so he could jack off to Harl but i made sure that he didn't, i mean, me and my friends were like:
Plus, some of the dialogue and action was so bloody dull i couldn't believe it. 'Nother thing: the dialogue is so cringy. Jesus. That's all for the round-up of my issues with the film, here's some of the dumbest moments (my opinion) in Suicide Squad.
The Purple, Annoying Cuts Between Scenes
What the [frick] was up with the whole purple, hybrid shit in some scenes? Like in the club scene, before the chase scene with Harl, Joker and Batman, we just cut to some fast-cut scenes with some purple filter over them, or whatever that was about.
Now, i know this isn't a moment, but still: cut that shit out, WB. And as for the editor regarding the whole editing of this movie.
Enchantress: The Magical Stripper
Mates, what is up with Enchantress? She's a boring ass character and danced like a Mexican stripper all the time (which i must admit, was arousing) but it was weird and out of place, plus, Cara, as much of a sweet lady you are, you need to improve on your acting a bit and by a bit i mean A LOT. It was unbearable. But what a cake:
Now, moving on.
Incubus: A Mutated Version Of Succesful Black Man
Now, am i the only one who laughed when they saw the guy who Enchantress possesed and put her brother's soul in or whatever, and got reminded of this:
Not to be racist or whatever, but the dude was washing his hands, and with the suit and all, it just reminded me of that meme. Funny sh**t. Anyways, Incubus was a terrible villain, just another CGI villain, who no one gives a f**k about. What else is new? Plus, his evil plan sucked. Turning people into Britney Sprears. Now, that i think about it, that's pretty evil.
Anyways, those are my top three moments that i thought were even dumber than Pokemon Go being a thing. What do you think? Nah, i don't give a crap. Just leave a comment and thumbs up, so i pay my rent then waste them on speed & pokeballs.
Now, see YA!
Meme Of The Week: