With Pokemon Go! making everyone's favorite pocket monsters in vogue again, it reignited my drive to play some of my old games. A little bit later, it gave me an idea for an interesting mash-up. One of my favorite bits of unintentional comedy is Orson Welles' 'frozen peas' blooper reel, which has become a frequent a source of comedy years later. Maurice LaMarche, my favorite voice actor in the business, frequently used it to help him get into character for The Brain. It's been parodied on shows such as SCTV (with John Candy doing a memorable Welles impression), Animaniacs, The Critic, and the miniseries The Spoils of Babylon (via Will Ferrell's Eric Jonrosh character).
An earlier mash-up I still return to time and again is one where the Beast Wars Transformers version of Megatron (as voiced by David Kaye, another favorite of mine) stands in for Orson Welles, only with more pronounced 'yes's'. But for you all today, I decided to have a bit of fun in light of Pokemon's renewed popularity (and the recent news of the in-development Detective Pikachu movie). So without further ado.....
What I did was combine elements from the actual 'Frozen Peas' outtakes with those from the aforementioned Animaniacs parody ("Yes, Always"), to give you a certain Pokemon as you've never seen him before:
MEOWTH, master thespian
Joining him will be fellow Team Rocket crony Pokemon Wobbuffet, also as you've never seen him before.
So sit back, and enjoy the show....
Narrator: "For the next segment on our series in the making of animated cartoons, we turn to voice recording. In the recording studio, actors must occasionally replace lines while adding new ones as they watch the footage in action on-screen. Today, Meowth has been brought in for such a purpose--to replace some dialogue."
[Meowth and Wobbuffet show up at the studio, greeted by a trio of people (all based on 4Kids! alum who worked on Pokemon's US dub).]
[Producer]
You're here, great! Just a few minutes late, but still...
[Meowth, pointing to the producer]
YOU, beat it.
[Producer]
But-but Meowth, I'm the producer here.
[Meowth]
Then ya betta' make haste. (Points to the writer next to the producer.) You too, SCRAM!
[Writer]
But, come on Meowth, I write your best material!
[Meowth]
John Steinbeck wrote my best material. What you write is gobbldygook unfit for a pet food commerical. (Points to the director.) Youse too, vamoose, move it, get outta here!
[Director]
Meowth, I AM the director.
[Meowth]
Youse WERE. Wobbuffet will direct today's session.
[Wobbuffet]
Wobba-wob--*AHEM* (clears throat)--sorry, hard to break when you're off-stage.
[Director]
But I--
[Meowth]
I take direction from ONE person, under protest...But from two, I can't sit still. Now split!
[Director, under her breath]
Can you believe that guy? I was there on his first gig...
[Meowth]
I heard dat.
[Meowth and Wobbuffet enter the recording booth and sound room, respectively, where the Engineer is sitting.]
[Wobbuffet]
'Afternoon.
[Engineer]
Hey.
[Wobbuffet]
All right, can we get a bit of a warm-up, Meowth?
[Meowth]
If I must--"Nothing is more important than the simple act of people getting together."
[Wobbuffet]
Good, good. (Chats a bit with the Engineer.)
[Engineer]
Could we have one more go? Sorry, one more take on that?
[Meowth]
Why? I just did it right. Now look, I'm not use'ta havin' more than one'a youse in dere. One more word outta youse, and youse hit da road. Izzat clear?
[Engineer]
Yes sir.
[Meowth]
Who da heck are youse, anyway?
[Engineer]
Oh uh, I'm the engineer.
[Meowth]
Well den, why're you askin' me for another one?
[Engineer]
Well, I felt there was a slight 'gonk'...
[Meowth, under his breath at first]
Criminy. What is a 'gonk'? D'you mind tellin' me what it--
[Wobbuffet]
It's like a 'blam', but from outside.
[Meowth]
Like a 'blam', but from outside. (Takes a drink from a water glass.) Can we get started?
[Wobbuffet]
Are you ready?
[Meowth]
Yeah.
[Wobbuffet]
Okay, so we'll run the footage, and you'll read along with the copy.
[Meowth nods]
[Wobbuffet]
Pokemon 252[dash]386, take one!
[Footage starts]
[Meowth]
“We know a remote farm in Lincolnshire, where Mrs. Buckley lives. Every July, peas grow there.” D'ya really mean dat?
[Wobbuffet]
Uh, yes, so in other words, I–I’d start half a second later.
[Meowth]
Don’tcha think ya really wanna say “July” over the snow? Ain’t dat da fun of it?
[Wobbuffet]
It’s–if–if you can (laughs) if you can make it almost when that shot disappears, it’ll make more–
[Meowth]
I tink it’s so nice that ya see a snow-covered field an' say “every July peas grow there”. “We know a remote farm in Lincolnshire, where Mrs. Buckley lives. Every July, peas grow there.” We ain’t even in the fields, ya see? (pause) We’re talkin' 'bout 'em growin' an' she’s picked 'em. (clears throat) What?
[Wobbuffet]
…in July.
[Meowth]
I don’ understand ya, then. When must–what mus'be over for “July”?
[Wobbuffet]
Uh, when we get out of that snowy field–
[Meowth]
Well, I wuz out! We were onta a can o' peas, a big dish o' peas when I said “in July”.
[Wobbuffet]
Oh, sorry Meowth.
[Meowth]
Yeah, always. I’m always–past dat!
[Wobbuffet]
You are?
[Meowth]
Yeah! Wh–that’s 'bout where I says “in July”.
[Wobbuffet]
Can you emphasize a bit “in”? “In July.”
[Meowth]
Why? Dat doesn’ make any sense. Sorry. Dere’s no known way of sayin' an English sentence in which ya begin a sentence wit' “in” and emphasize it. Get me a jury and show me how youse can say “in July” and I’ll…knit yarn for ya. That’s jus' idiotic, if you’ll forgive my sayin' so.
[Engineer]
(indistinct chatter)
[Meowth]
Dat’s jus' stupid. “In July”? I’d luv ta know how ya emphasize “in” in “in July”…Impossible! Meaningless!
[Engineer]
I was just thinking–
[Meowth]
He ain’t thinkin'.
[Wobbuffet]
Meowth, can we just do one last time–
[Meowth]
Yeah.
[Engineer]
…It was my fault, I should–I said “in July”. If you could leave “every July”–
[Meowth]
Youse didn’ say it, he said it.
[Engineer]
…I said “every July”.
[Meowth]
Yer friend. “Every July”?
[Wobbuffet]
…so after this shot…
[Meowth]
No, ya don’t really mean “every July”?
[Wobbuffet]
…it is, but it’s…
[Meowth]
But dat’s–dat’s bad copy. It’s in July. Of course it’s every July! Dere’s too much directin' around here.
[Wobbuffet]
Uh, let's move on. Pokemon 252-386, take two!
[Meowth, warming up at first]
No'way. Fish fing'r, nor, Findus, No'way. “We know a certain fjord in Norway, near where the cod gather in great shoals. There, Jan Stan–, Stangdilan,” nuts!
[Wobbuffet]
A fraction more on the–on that shoals thing, ’cause you rolled it round very nicely.
[Meowth]
Yeah, roll it round an' I've got no more time. You don’ know what I’m up against. 'Cause it’s full of–of–of things that're only correct because they’re grammatical, but they’re tough on the ear. Ya see, dis is a very wearyin' one, it’s unpleasant to read. Unrewardin'. “Because Findus freeze the cod at sea and then add a crumb, crisp…” ooh, “crumb, crisp coating.”
[Wobbuffett]
(indistinct chatter)
[Meowth]
Ah, dat’s tough. “Crumb, crisp coating.”
[Engineer]
(indistinct chatter)
[Meowth]
I tink, no, because of the way it’s written, ya need to break it up 'cause it’s not–it’s not as conva'sationally written. What?
[Wobbuffet]
Take “crumb” out.
[Engineer]
(sounds like) That’s the word.
[Meowth]
Take “crumb” out. Great.
[Wobbuffet]
Let's just move on. Next cue!
[Meowth]
Here unda' protest is “beef boigas.” “We know a little place in the American Far West, where Charlie Briggs chops up the finest prairie-fed beef and tastes…” Dis is a lot of hooey, ya know that? Ya want one more?
[Engineer]
We do, actually…
[Meowth]
More on “buck beef”?
[Wobbuffet]
Well, you missed the first “beef”, actually completely.
[Meowth]
Whaddaya mean, missed it?
[Wobbuffet]
You–you’re emphasizing “prairie-fed”–
[Meowth]
But ya can’t have me emphasize “beef”, dat’s like wantin' me ta emphasize “in” before “July”. Come on, guys, you’re losin' yer heads! I wouldn’t direct any living actor like this in a production of Fiddler on da Roof, the way ya do things! It’s impossible!
[Wobbuffet]
Meowth, you did six last year, and by far and away the best, and I know the–the reason–
[Meowth]
Da right readin' for dis is the one I’m givin' it!
[Wobbuffet]
For the moment.
[Meowth]
I heard dat.
[Wobbuffet, embarrased, looks at his elbow accidentally resting on the button.]
[Meowth]
I spent…twenny times more for youse people than any other commercial I’ve ever made. Yer such pests! Now, what is it ya want?
[Wobbuffet]
Now, I think–
[Meowth]
In yer depths of your ignorance, what is it ya want? Whateva' it is ya want, I can’t deliva' it because I just don’t see it.
[Engineer]
That was absolutely fine, it really was.
[Meowth]
Here, youse–(crumples script, stands up, gets jacket) This ain’t worth it. No money is worth dis kind'a aggravation. (Hops down from stool, walks towards the door.) If ya want dis finished, you'll haveta find some act-ah who does...impressions. Good luck, sayonara!
[Opens the door to the reception area, where he sees the receptionist greeting a small group of cartoon cats, all holding scripts and wearing discs similar to Meowth's charm on their foreheads. The cats consist of:
-Sylvester
-Tom (as in 'Tom and Jerry')
-Butch (also from 'Tom and Jerry')
-Garfield
-Heathcliff
-Sebastian (from 'Josie and the Pussycats')
-Mr. Jinks (from 'Pixie and Dixie')
-Felix the Cat
-Bonkers
-Eek the Cat
-Azrael (from 'The Smurfs')
-Salem Saberhagen (from 'Sabrina the Teenage Witch')
-Master Korin (from 'Dragon Ball/Z')
-Top Cat
-Catbus (from 'My Neighbor Totoro')
-Cat (from 'CatDog')
-T-Bone and Razor (from 'SWAT Kats')
-Cheshire Cat (from Disney's 'Alice in Wonderland')
-Furrball (from 'Tiny Toon Adventures')
-Katz (from 'Courage the Cowardly Dog')
-Krazy Kat
-Oggy (from 'Oggy and the Cockroaches')
-Pete (from Disney)
-Ruff (from 'Ruff and Reddy')
-Scratchy and Snowball II (from 'The Simpsons')
-Stimpy (from 'Ren and Stimpy')
-Streaky the Super-Cat
All are looking through their scripts.]
[Receptionist]
Okay, are you all here to audition for the part of 'Meowth'?
[All cartoon cats]
'Mee-owth, that's right!'
[A freaked-out Meowth jumps at the sight, then runs back into the booth, slamming the door behind him.]
[Meowth, sheepishly]
On second thought fellas, let's--try it again, shall we?