So...
Batman is never seen eating. Have you ever seen him eat? I have read something like over 4?.. 5 Batman comics and I'm afraid I haven't. I think there's a reason for that.
Batman is seen on a number of occasions, sitting at dining tables, mingling at parties where food is readily available.... But do you see him eat? No.
I'll cut to the chase.
Get right to it.
Serve the meat of the situation for you..
Make this brief.......
Batman.
is
a
Fatman.
"What is a Fatman?" You ask, scratching your head with one hand and licking the doritio powder from the fingers of your other hand.
A Fatman is a superhero that has an eating disorder of a superheroic magnitude. Superman is one, Green Arrow is one, the Flash definitely is one.
Our favorite vigilante Bruce Wayne dediated his life to training his mind and body to be pushed to the furthest limits of human potential. At some point, I theorize, he was broken. Not physically. Not.. mentally. But apetitacally. His apetite friends. His aptetude for apetitacle endurance was pushed beyond what is natural, and as a response his body countered with an insatiable beastlike hunger, that would plague him in all his years to come in his most private moments.
When he's not doing anything interesting, like important detective work or fighting crime on the streets of Gotham... on the pages of the comic you don't see, he's hoffing down mad heaps of grub. Stuffing his face like an immortal monster that's been locked away and hasn't been fed in years.
Is this a good thing? Is it bad? Well, that's not for me to determine. I have faith in Batman. I wouldn't be so presumptious as to predict what such a development spells out for the future, of the Batman. But one thing is for certain........
Batman,
is
a
Fatman.
I'm very tired.