I've had this idea for a while now and I've finally sat down and made it happen. It's part Fan-Fic, part Fight Club, part Chose Your Own Adventure. I apologize if I forgot anyone who feels they should've been included [@ teaabag @HawksBlueEyes). Here goes.........
The planet known as CBM is in danger of being destroyed by the all mighty world-eater, Galactus (Jim). Not to be confused with Galactus (Marvel). This Galactus gives the planet a chance for survival by pitting it's greatest warriors against one another in a tournament to see who is most worthy to face him in a fight to determine the fate of the planet. Having traveled the universe for eons, the battles are the only thing that can still entertain the neigh omnipotent titan. With the world devourer looming, our warriors have gathered for the opening round of the tournament, high above the surface on Mt. Cape.
COMBATANTS |
| Mark"RorMachine"Cassidy | EdGross |
| HelaGood | WolvieCBM |
| WaylonJones | VideoColor |
| VicSage | TheGoddamnBatman |
| Selina Kyle | Ruben |
| PollMaster | PaulRom |
| nuck82 | mikenew |
| Matthew"Ozymandias"Wallace | luffycapri |
| LP4 | LEEE777 |
| JoshWildling | Jolt17 |
| Grif | Ecksmanfan |
| DCMarvelFreshman | darkknightlegend |
| Comedian03 | batcavepwnsphonebooth |
Galactus likes to start things off with a bang so he always selects two of the planets heavy weights to do battle first. He determines who is strongest by using a scanner to assess each warrior's
strength (# of Article Submissions), speed (# of Comments), intelligence (CBM Membership Length)and energy projection (# of fan sites). However, Galactus knows that he cant rely on these qualities alone to determine who's the most dangerous. There are also intangibles such as
Article Content, Site Presence, Grammar, Spelling, and Popularity that simply can't be measured by numbers and facts. Suddenly, two warriors catch Galactus' eye without need of the scanner. On impulse, he decides that the opening round of fights will be as follows:
Mark"RorMachine"Cassidy vs. EdGross
The combatants are stunned to see these two powerful warriors selected to fight in the opening round. Known throughout the world of CBM for their tireless heroics these two are more likely to work together, not engage in mortal combat. Still, our heroes know what's at stake and promise each other not to hold back. Ed starts off with a powerful energy blast from his Kryptonian ray gun and sends RorMachine flying. Staggering to his feet, RorMachine then lets off a successive barrage of cannon fire from his Tony Stark designed armor and buries Ed in rubble. All is quiet for a few moments, but RorMachine isn't fooled, he knows Ed wouldn't go down so easily. Suddenly, the ring starts to rumble and Ed escapes the rubble using his most powerful weapon,
Voices of Krypton, a powerful sonic scream that's been known to destroy his opponents in milliseconds. RorMachine was ready for it though, he took to the skies escaping the radius of the blast and hit Ed with his Repulsor Ray, leaving only a charred remains.
Grif vs. LP4
Grif and LP4 are as different as cats and dogs. Grif is a wild, savage animal that destroys everything in his path that he deems to be sh*t. LP4 is a thinker and master planner. Knowing what a powerhouse Grif is, LP4 simply steps into his TARDIS and teleports away. Even Grif says that was pretty cool.
Pollmaster vs. LEEE777
Pollmaster, king of fighters. His hand-to-hand prowess in unmatched. Daily training since the tender age of 2, this fighting fanatic lives for battle. LEEE777 just loves boobs and only fights to impress the ladies. LEEE777 was able to hold his own until he was distracted by Helagood's bountiful bosom and had his skull cracked by Pollmaster's Vibranium Pole.
Selina Kyle vs. nuck82
Ms. Selina Kyle, femme fatale. Her power lies in her ability to simply ignore you. Any attack by her opponents is simply ignored and she feels nothing. Nuck was unaware of this and fired off attack, after attack, after attack only to be stunned when they simply rolled of Selina like falling rain. In a desperation attack, Nuck calls upon the power of CBMTrolls and inks out a last second victory with the power of Awesomeness.
Galactus is very pleased by today's events, with the exception of LP4's classy departure. This slightly worries Galactus, as he senses this may have a significant impact down the road. He announces the fights for tomorrow and bids the warriors to rest for the evening.
DCMarvelFreshman vs. JoshWildling
Matthew"Ozymandias"Wallace vs. batcavepwnsphonebooth
VicSage vs. luffycapri
ruben vs. thegoddamnbatman
Galactus is pleased with these developments!
What did you guys think of the opening round? Be sure to cast your vote. I'm always happy to have contributors. If you think you have a funny write-up of how the battle between 2 CBMers would go, please email me the story and I will include it in the round synopsis!