Nova's Funhouse: Breakfast With Wolverine & Deadpool

Nova's Funhouse: Breakfast With Wolverine & Deadpool

Just a little humourous script I wrote that I decided to share with you all. It is exactly what the title suggests. Read and enjoy, folks...

By NovaCorpsFan - Sep 04, 2013 04:09 PM EST
Filed Under: Fan Fic

Wolvie and Deadpool are sat at a kitchen table. Costumes on, no cowls or masks. Wolvie's eating some toast while DP pours out his Rice Krispies.

Deadpool: Just add milk! *pours milk into bowl*... Hey, y'know what?

Wolvie: Shut up and let me eat, Wade.

Deadpool: No, just listen alright...*snap, crackle, pop* y'hear that? It just hit me, what if like every individual krispie is a universe! An' all those little snappin', crackin' 'n' poppin' sounds are like a bunch o' big bangs!?

Immature DP: Haha, big bangs.

Wolverine stares blankly at DP. DP stares back. Wolverine continues to eat his toast. Deadpool takes a spoonful of Krispies.

DP: Hey, d'you remember that time Magneto tore your adamantium out? What was that like?

Wolvie: Seriously, Wade, shut the [frick] up and let me finish my breakfast!

DP: Aw, c'mon, I'm bored! Talk to me Logie-Bear! Share with me, your inner most thoughts.

Wolverine: You don't shut up 'n' your inner most thoughts'll be sprayed across that wall.

DP: Least mine'd grow back...

Reasonable DP: Oh, you went there. He's not looking happy with that.

Wolverine: Oh, I know you didn't just take a knock at my memory loss! Your cruisin' for a bruisin', Wilson.

Immature DP: Aheh, Castaway, what a great movie...

Deadpool looks up at the clock. It's 7:36.

DP: Shit, I'm late for golf, with Tasky!

Wolverine: Don't think I'm just gonna let you leave, Wade!

Immature DP: Quick, decapitate 'im and make a break for the golf bag.

Reasonable DP: No, stay and face the music. You're his only friend!

DP: Listen, man. You know I'd love to chat but I promised Tasky I'd play a round o' golf at 7:30.

Wolverine: You were gonna play golf against someone who can replicate an action perfectly after seeing it?

DP: ... Never thought of it like that... Well, [frick] him! I'm finishin' my cereal.

Deadpool returns to the table and proceeds to eat the Krispies. He raises a spoonful to his mouth.

DP: Sayonara; possible universes! Whoa, I just realised I'm, like, their God!

He spreads his arms out. Wolverine rolls his eyes.

DP: Kneel Before Z--... What would my God name be?

Wolverine: Caligula?

DP: Ain't that the guy that married his mom and ate his son?

Wolverine nods.

DP: Deadpool 1, History 0! Take that education! Seriously, though, I want a threatening God name. As Pooh Bear would say, "think, think, think"... I got it! The Black Eyed P!

Wolverine: Oh, sweet, merciful Jesus. *facepalms*

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, that's that one anyway. I have ideas for a tonne more so I'll leave them here and you can tell me in the comments which one you'd like me to do. So, here they are:

1. Lunchtime with Punisher

2. Daredevil's day off

3. Iron Fist goes to Paris

4. Spidey sets a record

5. Trevor Slattery does therapy (for other MCU villains)

About The Author:
NovaCorpsFan
Member Since 2/7/2013
I overthink pretty much anything to do with the MCU, but hey, we're allowed to speculate on these sorts of things right?
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