The Dark Knight Casting Call! (Fan Fic) UPDATED!

With the revelation that The Dark Knight Rises would take place eight years after The Dark Knight, the reality hit home with fans of the Christopher Nolan Batman films that the director was serious about ending his Batman's saga definitively-- that there would be no continuing adventures of the "realistic" Batman, and that one way or another, the story was going to come to a close in the summer of 2012. For fans like myself, this proved more than a little disappointing; personally, I'd been hoping that the fourth Batman film could be a loose continuation of the Nolan films, one that perhaps lessened the restrictions of reality to allow for some of Batman's more fanciful story points to hit the big screen.

Unfortunately, it was not meant to be; after The Dark Knight Rises, Nolan's Gotham will be laid to rest, and the future of the Batman franchise will be up in the air once again. Who knows what might lay ahead? We may even see the Bat-nipple make a comeback.

Never forget.

But after seven years of enjoying the new adventures of a cinematic Dark Knight set within a fully realized Gotham City, I couldn't help but wonder what else this world could have held for us to see. We all saw what the Joker looked like in Nolan's Gotham; what would the Riddler have looked like? Could we have ever seen Robin pop up in this universe? How many films would it take until Poison Ivy became a feasible adversary? There were just so many characters in the comic book universe that had never had a chance to exist in this movie continuity, either because they weren't dangerous enough enemies to devote an entire film to (the Penguin) or because they just wouldn't have worked in the faux-real world setting the films took place in (Mr. Freeze).

Well, that's the cool thing about fan casting calls: I don't have to worry about how the characters fit into the story. I just have to figure out who would play them.

So, for your reading pleasure, I have compiled a list of the characters I would have loved to see make an appearance in the Dark Knight universe. Some of them would fit into the Nolan-verse with ease; others would take a bit of finessing. But all of them have been cast with actors that I feel live up to the high standards set by this franchise, and that would do the characters themselves justice.

RULES: The chosen actors must be appropriate within the seven-year period during which the Dark Knight movies have been released-- so anyone who could have played a given part between the years 2005 and 2012 is eligible. As we'll see, this includes people who've died during this period, as well.

NOTE: As you've no doubt gleaned from the fact that I haven't included any of them in this article, the supporting cast for these films remains the same-- the Dark Knight trilogy has one of the best supporting casts I've yet to see in a superhero movie, and I wouldn't change a single one of them.
...Well, except possibly Katie Holmes as Rachel Dawes, but Chris Nolan already beat me to that one.


HEROES:
BATMAN/BRUCE WAYNE-- Christian Bale

Say what you will about his voice. I don't care.

CHRISTIAN. BALE. IS. BATMAN.

Bale walked into this role in 2005 and mastered it right off the bat (no pun intended). He nailed the role of the neurotic, guilt-driven young man who renounced his wealth to understand the criminal mind; he aced the playboy-douchebag facade (hell, he'd already kind of aced it five years prior in American Psycho); and he brought a physical intensity and violence to the role of Batman that, for the first time ever, actually made the Dark Knight seem frightening. When Bale became Batman, you finally understood why criminals cowered with fear at the very mention of this guy's name. And as for his voice... admittedly, it doesn't sound good when he's talking, and especially not when he's delivering long stretches of conversational dialogue. But that's because it's not supposed to be a speaking voice-- it's supposed to be a SNARLING voice, and it's best used when the character is trying to intimidate others (one of my favorite lines in ANY movie, to this day, is "SWEAR TO ME!!!").

Michael Keaton may have been better at brooding and whispering in a gravelly voice. Val Kilmer may have been great at the physicality and the playboy billionaire stuff. George Clooney may have been better at... something, probably (head wobbling, I guess. Or nailing Elle Macpherson). But Christian Bale has had the total package since his very first film, and more than that, he's added a new human dimension to Bruce Wayne that we've seen mature and develop over the course of these films. Other actors will inevitably come and give us their own takes on the character, but for my money, I can't think of a better man to play the Dark Knight than Christian Bale.

... Well, other than maybe Kevin Conroy, but he's not a live-action performer, so he doesn't count.


DICK GRAYSON/ROBIN-- Asa Butterfield

Okay, I'll admit it. I'm a HUGE Robin fan.

I'll concede that the concept of the kid sidekick isn't exactly "realistic", and would never have worked in Nolan's slew of Batman films... but despite that, even going back to Tim Burton's Batman, I've always wanted to see a definitive take on the Boy Wonder brought onto the big screen. And not as a seventeen-year-old punk with an earring, mind you-- DAMN that Chris O'Donnell and his "MTV Robin"-- but as an actual kid, bringing some levity to the grim world of the Dark Knight (the point of reference I always come to is Short Round in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. He was a fun, lighthearted presence in a story that really needed those qualities, what with all the child slavery, torture, and graphic immolation). I honestly don't think it'd be impossible for an audience to accept it; you'd just have to play it the right way.

If you look at what Jeph Loeb did in Batman: Dark Victory, you get a really good sense of how Robin could be worked into a cinematic Batman universe (I highly recommend checking the book out, if you haven't read it). More than likely, they'd have to do with Grayson what they did with Two-Face-- that is, essentially tell his whole story as a single film and then write him off (not by KILLING him or anything, but maybe by Bruce finding a good family for him). It might be a little easier to stomach the whole "Batman working with a kid" thing if it's only for one case.

The only problem is, how do you cast a kid Robin? Child actors don't exactly give you a lot of time to evaluate their talent before they grow up, sprout acne, and vanish into obscurity (poor Haley Joel Osment...), and the Batman films have taken place over a long period of time. So for simplicity's sake, I'm post-dating this pick-- I'm chooing and actor who would be most appropriate specifically in the year 2012, when the last of the Nolan films is set to arrive (since Robin would most assuredly be a late addition to the big-screen Batman's pantheon of characters). And in that case, probably the most obvious pick would be Asa Butterfield, the young star of Martin Scorsese's Hugo and soon-to-be star of the forthcoming Ender's Game movie. Why him, you may ask? Well, because a.) he's the right age (about fourteen, though he looks younger), b.) he has dark (if not black) hair, and c.) he can act. Do you know how hard it is to find a kid who can genuinely act? Hey, if Martin Scorsese thinks you have what it takes to carry a whole movie, you've GOT to have some talent.

He'd need some gymnastics training so that it'd look believable when he pulls off a stunt, sure-- Robin needs to be agile enough to keep up with the Dark Knight, after all-- but I think Butterfield would probably be the best bet for making Robin fly.

(... Oh, but if I was picking a teenage Tim Drake, rather than a twelve-year-old Dick Grayson? Anton Yelchin, hands down. Just tossing it out there.)


VILLAINS:
OSWALD COBBLEPOT/"THE PENGUIN"-- Phillip Seymore Hoffman

Ever since the end of Batman Begins, people have been speculating as to which villains were going to appear in future installments of the new Batman franchise... and since day one of that speculation, one of the highest names on the "potential villains" list has been Oswald Cobblepot. Not "the Penguin", mind you, but Oswald. See, the character had gone through something of a Renaissance since his fish-eating days in the Tim Burton films; during the year-long No Man's Land event, Cobblepot had been transformed from a sqwacking gimmick villain with trick umbrellas into a smuggler, arms dealer, and wannabe mafioso with pretensions of sophistication. The name "Penguin" became more of an insulting nickname than a self-chosen moniker, and the character obtained that one ineffable quality that made him a contender to join the ranks of Nolan's big-screen rogue's gallery: realism.

The casting for this one isn't really mine-- this is the guy that the Internet picked for the role, waaaaaay back in 2006 or so. Rumors that Phillip Seymore Hoffman was being considered for the Penguin began almost as soon as Batman Begins' theatrical run ended, and it's not hard to see why-- when he played Owen Davian in Mission: Impossible III, Hoffman showed that he had what it took to be menacing without necessarily being physically imposing, and in his quirkier roles (such as Brandt in The Big Lebowski) he demonstrated a comedic timing and grasp of character that could make Oswald come to life as a small-time smuggler with delusions of machiavellianism. It was a perfect match.

Unfortunately, Hoffman has gone on the record saying he'd pretty much never do a comic book movie, and Nolan didn't seem interested in fitting the Penguin into the world he'd created anyway. But of all the roles and the actors on this list, this is the one that I consider de facto canon in the Dark Knight universe. God damn it, Phillip Seymore Hoffman was the Penguin in Nolan's Gotham-- we just never got around to meeting him.


EDWARD NYGMA/THE RIDDLER-- Guy Pearce

Though I've gone on record numerous times to argue the reasons why the Riddler should not have been the villain in the third Batman movie (too hard to do realistically, his gimmick's too close to the Joker's, etc.), I have to admit that the Riddler has always been one of my favorite Batman rogues... and on some childish level (the same level that wanted to see Robin crop up in the third movie), I had hoped that Chris Nolan could find some way to make this character work in the cinematic universe he'd created. The way I see it, what would probably have to happen to make his inclusion work would be a radical shift in the character's M.O.-- make him something like Keyser Soze, a criminal mastermind so brilliant that no one even knows that he exists. You could really emphasize the obsessive-compulsive aspects of his personality, showing him studying and planning out every detail of his plans far in advance, yet compelled by his neurosis to leave a calling card or a clue behind-- one that, with the right insight, provides the key to figuring out his next crime. But that's just one idea. I don't know how, exactly, he would work best in this universe; I just know he needs to be more than a weirdo in a green suit. (But make no mistake, he would have to wear green. Even if just as a highlight.)

To play the Riddler, though, you need an actor who oozes intelligence from every pore-- someone so smugly brilliant that you just want to punch his teeth in. And personally, after seeing the viral videos for Ridley Scott's Prometheus, I think the best choice would be Guy Pearce. Pearce has that slightly stuck-up quality about him that just screams "I'm smarter than you", and he has such a great range that I have no doubt that he could nail the calculating-yet-neurotic role of Nygma with little-to-no trouble. Besides, not only has Pearce worked with Nolan before (in the brilliant neo-noir Memento, of course), but the guy really needs a solid, breakout performance-- he's been doing major Hollywood movies for years, and how many people know his name?


DR. HUGO STRANGE-- Viggo Mortensen

One of the strangest phenomena to come out of the hype surrounding The Dark Knight Rises' development was the persistent, unkillable rumor that Hugo Strange was going to be the main villain in the film. Strange, one of Batman's oldest and most obscure villains, hadn't really been heard from much since the eighties, when his character was killed off in the comics (pre-Crisis); yet somehow, an absolute certainty developed in the fanboy community that Strange was the frontrunner to be the antagonist in Nolan's third film (largely because of a Post-Crisis storyline that recast him as a police psychiatrist obsessed with discovering Batman's identity-- a role that would have fit nicely with the fact that the police were hunting down Bats at the end of The Dark Knight). Ultimately, Bane was revealed to be the main villain of the film (much to some fans' chagrin), but in an odd turn of events, Strange ended up as one of the primary antagonists in the Batman: Arkham City video game instead. Go figure.

Still, the fact remains that Strange would have been a very appropriate addition to the cinematic Batman's repertoire of realistic adversaries. He's a tough one to cast for, though-- you need an older actor, at least in his late fourties/early fifties, but someone who is in good enough shape to pose at least some physical threat to Batman, since he has no special weapons and a confrontation is bound to happen sooner or later. After a lot of searching and back-and-forth, however, I finally came to Viggo Mortensen. Mortensen, now 53, is obviously best known as Aragorn in the Lord of the Rings movies, but he's done a hell of a lot more than just play grizzled heroes: he's played vicious killers, notably in the David Cronenberg films A History of Violence and Eastern Promises, and he's even played a psychologist before-- or rather, THE psychologist: Dr. Sigmund Freud-- in another Cronenberg film (A Dangerous Method). Combine Freud's beard with his other characters' violent obsessions, not to mention the actor's proclivities for accents, and you'd have a Hugo Strange that would leap right off the screen!


DR. HARLEEN QUINZEL/HARLEY QUINN-- Brittany Murphy

... Okay, there's probably no way I can broach this entry tastefully, but I'm going to do my damnedest.

Harley Quinn is probably THE most popular Bat-villain to be created within the past two decades. A classic "gun-moll" with an unwavering devotion to her "puddin'" (the Joker), Harley started out as an incidental character in a single episode of "Batman: The Animated Series", and from there grew to become one of the most popular characters on the show. She even made the unprecedented jump from the cartoon world into the print medium (becoming the first major Batman villain not created in a comic book), and, before you know it, she was eventually awarded her own monthly series. So when The Dark Knight was coming out, featuring Heath Ledger's diabolical Joker as the main villain, my mind naturally wandered onto the subject of who I thought could play the squeeky-voiced, bat-shit loony sidekick to this new, intense Clown Prince of Crime.

Little did I know that the actress I had picked would, in an ironic twist of fate, meet a tragic end very similar to the one met by Heath Ledger just a year earlier.

Brittany Murphy was very much like Harley Quinn, in that she had a bubbly attitude, an easy, disarming charm, and, most importantly, a high-pitched, squeeky voice. Murphy was pretty much the only person I could ever picture playing this part-- the way her characters bounced off the walls with almost manic energy, the way she could play bubble-headed and obtuse heroines that you couldn't help but root for, and the way people tended to underestimate her, both on-screen and off. If Heath Ledger could reinvent himself, going from teen idol to Machiavellian super-criminal, then why couldn't she?

Unfortunately, Brittany Murphy died in 2009, of what was deemed to be natural causes brought on by over-the-counter drugs. It's a shame we never got to see where she was going as an actress, much in the same way we never got to see what Heath Ledger could have made of himself post-TDK. But I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Murphy would have made an absolutely perfect Harley Quinn, given the chance. So I stand by my choice, and I hope that you can see past the morbid symmetry of my selection to recognize Murphy as the Harley Quinn I honestly would have loved to see.


ARNOLD WESKER/THE VENTRILOQUIST-- John Lithgow

Yet another character almost tailor-made for the Nolan-verse, the Ventriloquist is, when all is said and done, just a crazy person. Specifically, he has Dissociative Identity Disorder (formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder), which manifests itself whenever Wesker uses his ventriloquist dummy named Scarface-- a dummy that he imbues with an entirely different personality, which, despite what you may be thinking, is NOT that of an 80's-era Cuban drug lord, but rather a 30's-era gin-running gangster. Some people might think that the Ventriloquist's schtick is cheesy, but the fact is, if you ever came face-to-face with a guy who would only talk to you through a puppet on his hand, you'd be more than a little creeped out. And it probably wouldn't help if the puppet was packing heat.

The Ventriloquist himself has to be a pitiful, wimpy guy, but with just enough of a repressed psychotic edge that you could believe that he might just snap and kill someone at any moment, even without the puppet. And odd as it may seem, I think John Lithgow is that man. I know, I know-- I wouldn't have bought it, either, until I saw what he did in season four of "Dexter". Lithgow, when playing things straight, is actually kind of an unsettling person. There's a twitchiness to him, as if he's working to suppress something that's boiling just beneath the surface-- and when he lets it all out, there's a surprising violence to the man that you'd never expect from someone with his rather unassuming appearance. And that's exactly what you want for the Ventriloquist: nervous, twitchy, but capable of shocking the viewer with his ferociousness.

Even if said ferociousness has to be channeled through a puppet.


DR. VICTOR FRIES/MR. FREEZE-- Adrian Brody

First of all, f%$# Arnold Schwarzenegger. I love the guy, but he just about killed this character's credibility in Batman and Robin-- and for a character as conceptually ridiculous as Freeze, credibility is a hard thing to come by.

Secondly, I loooooove the Mr. Freeze of the animated series. Really, has a better origin story ever been concocted for a supervillain? Freeze is driven by the lost love of his wife and the disconnection he feels from humanity-- driven to seek vengeance, not just against those responsible for his condition, but against the world at large. Of all the Bat-villains on this list, however, his gimmick is the most outlandish and science fiction-y: horribly mutated in a cryogenics accident, Dr. Victor Fries found that he could no longer survive outside of a zero-degree environment. Thus, he fashioned a suit for himself to keep him at sub-zero temperatures, as well as a "freeze-gun" capable of freezing a target solid in a matter of seconds. Bottom line, Christopher Nolan would have NEVER used this character in his films. EVER.

... But if he had, I would have loved to see him played by Adrian Brody.

I know that the fan-favorite for this part is usually Ben Kingsley, and I used to think he could do it, too... but for one thing, the guy hasn't made a decent film in years, and for another, he's sixty-eight years old-- hardly supervillain material. Brody, however, could bring to the film the kind of stoic emotional power that scored him an Oscar at age twenty-nine (making him the youngest to ever win Best Actor) while at the same time delivering a character that could believably go toe-to-toe with the Dark Knight (hell, he was practically playing Batman in Predators). Brody could infuse Dr. Fries with the pathos and resonance that the animated series managed to grant the character (and which no other medium has been able to recapture), and he could do it all while beating the tar out of Christian Bale and wearing a giant refridgerator spacesuit.

You know why? 'Cause he's not an Austrian catchphrase dispenser. He's a goddamned actor. That's why.


PAMELA ISLEY/POISON IVY-- Noomi Rapace

As counter-intuitive as it might seem, it wouldn't be all that hard to make Poison Ivy into a realistic character. Sure, you'd have to ditch the green skin, universal poison immunity, and probably the giant plant monsters, but when you get right down to it, Ivy is nothing more than an eco-terrorist. Her extremist environmental agenda could just as easily lead her to bomb developers or poison those whom she sees as a threat to Mother Nature (which could be the explanation for her name: poisoning people is her M.O.). Hell, the fact that they changed Ra's Al Ghul from an eco-terrorist to a vigilante means that she wouldn't even be stepping on another supervillain's gimmick. And as for the pheromones... well, you could always just make her very, very hot. She might not be worthy of carrying an entire movie herself, but, like Scarecrow, she'd make for an interesting addition to the Nolan-verse.

To play Pamela Isley, you'd need someone exotic (to make up for the fact that all of her most exotic qualities are gone in the Nolan-verse)-- someone who can be a strong female villain, but who can be sympathetic, clearly conveying that she believes herself to be doing the right thing. Personally, I think Noomi Rapace, star of the Swedish adaptations of the Millennium book trilogy and the forthcoming sci-fi nerd-gasm Prometheus, would be excellent for the part. She's a beautiful woman, but in an earthy sort of way, and she's played her fair share of morally ambiguous characters who can kick plenty of ass. Sounds like a perfect fit to me!


DR. THOMAS ELLIOT/HUSH-- Michael C. Hall

Hush was a character that made such a great first impression that it doesn't matter that all his follow-up appearances have ranged in quality from mediocre to just plain bad. He was an interesting character (Dr. Thomas Elliot, childhood friend of Bruce Wayne's) with an interesting motivation (in a twisted inversion of the Batman origin, Tommy blames Bruce's father for saving his mother's life after a car accident-- an accident Tommy arranged to kill his parents so that he could inherit their fortune)-- and, thanks to Jim Lee's fantastic artwork, he had one of the most bitchin' costumes ever awarded to a supervillain. So what if it turned out he was just a pawn in a game orchestrated by the Riddler, of all people? Hush had become the rogue's gallery's Rookie of the Year, and it wasn't long before he started popping back up again and again-- first in the ghastly "Hush Returns" arc in Batman: Gotham Knights, and then in Paul Dini's vastly superior "Heart of Hush" and "House of Hush" storylines.

A big-screen Hush would need to be charismatic and likable, yet hide a decidedly greedy and sociopathic core... and that sounds remarkably like Michael C. Hall's titular character from the Showtime series "Dexter" to me. Hall has a way of getting past the viewer's defenses, coming off as friendly and likable one minute, and switching over to withering intensity the next. That's what we'd need to see from Tommy Elliot: a guy who we could believe was Bruce Wayne's closest friend, yet who has that hidden touch of madness that could convince us that he'd pick up a couple of automatics and start quoting Aristotle just to f%$# with Batman's head. Even better still, Hall can handle himself in a fight scene, so going toe-to-toe with the Dark Knight wouldn't be an issue! Add to that his naturally red hair, and you have a no-brainer casting pick.


ROMAN SIONIS/BLACK MASK-- Timothy Oliphant

I'm gonna level with you: I never liked Black Mask. He is, in my eyes, the single most boring antagonist in Batman's extensive rogues gallery. What's his gimmick, anyway? He's a guy, a mobster, wearing a black mask. That's it. Sure, later, in an effort to update the character, they got rid of the mask and disfigured his face into a black skull post-"No Man's Land"... but now he looks like a rip-off of the Red Skull, so I'm still not impressed. The fact is, though, his grounded nature as a character makes him a prime candidate for Nolanization, so include him I shall-- if for no other reason, then for completeness.

His backstory, if you must know, is that he was once Roman Sionis, a millionaire who killed his parents to inherit their money and their cosmetic company ("Janus Cosmetics", a name that would make much more sense if it was somehow connected to Two-Face). He ran the company into the ground, however, until Bruce Wayne (who'd been a childhood "friend" foisted upon him by his status-seeking parents) ultimately bailed him out and took control of said company. Furious, Sionis carved a mask out of the ebony lid of his father's coffin and took to calling himself "Black Mask", organizing his own gang of "false facers" (guys in masks) and seeking revenge by... committing crimes that had nothing to do with Bruce Wayne. Huh. Some people call him a dark reflection of Batman, due to his "millionaire orphan" origin; I call him a bad attempt to manufacture a dark reflection of Batman.

Mask actually became a pretty fun character under the direction of Judd Winick during his "Under the Hood" story, however, so that's the Black Mask I'll be casting. And in my eyes, the perfect guy to play this part would be Timothy Oliphant. Like we saw in Live Free or Die Hard, he has the same kind of dry wit Sionis was nursing under Winick's care, and he's also demonstrated a sadistic streak (in films like Scream 2) that could turn him into quite the intimidating mobster. If anyone could make me give a crap about this character, it'd be Oliphant.


FLOYD LAWTON/DEADSHOT-- Colin Farrell

Yet another favorite in the "who will be the next Bat-villain?" debate preceding The Dark Knight Rises' production, Deadshot is an almost literal personification of the one thing in the world Batman hates the most: guns. Like every other Batman villain, Deadshot (whose real name is Floyd Lawton, the poor bastard) has a tragic backstory that explains in intricate detail how he became the twisted individual that he is today. Unlike every other Batman villain, however, most writers choose simply to ignore it. When it comes to Deadshot, you really only need to know two things: he kills people for money, and he enjoys what he does. He's not insane; he's not conflicted. Hell, his only real weakness is that he's got a bit of an ego. But bottom line, the guy just wants to do the job, get paid, and blow all the money before moving on to the next hit. Frankly, I can't imagine how people thought they could build an entire film around this character, but hey-- fans will be fans.

I'll admit that this is the cheapest casting move I've ever made in my life, but to play the gun-toting master assassin, I had to go with my number-one pick: Colin Farrell. Sure, Farrell already played a character similar to this-- okay, pretty much identical to this-- when he took the role of Bullseye in the 2003 Daredevil movie... but Deadshot is a completely different type of character! He's not insane or sadistic, like Bullseye, and he's not in it for the pleasure of killing. Deadshot is a craftsman, obsessive only in how he hones his skills; in many ways, he's like a blue-collar supervillain, interested only in doing the job and, while possessed of an extraordinary work ethic, reasonable enough to know when he's been beaten. Farrell would be great in the part, bringing a bit of fun to the character (though preferably without going full-on Sid Vicious, like he did with Bullseye); if he were playing Deadshot, I might be willing to see the character headline a Batman movie. Maybe.


RUPERT THORN-- Robert DeNiro

Rupert Thorn is one of the few gangster-type villains in the Batman universe who hasn't been included, in one way or another, in the Dark Knight trilogy-- but ironically, he's also probably one of the most recognizable (thanks to his repeated appearances on "Batman: The Animated Series"). Thorn was mostly a recurring figure back in the eighties, when Marshall Rogers was doing his famous run on the character-- he's the guy who killed Hugo Strange, interestingly enough. And while you might say that Nolan's Gotham has already had its fair share of regular old run-of-the-mill gangsters, I say there's always room for one more. Escalation or no, there's no way EVERY criminal in Gotham would be willing to slap on a costume and play supervillain, and Thorne could represent the embattled mafia that's fighting tooth-and-nail for its fair share amidst a sea of weirdos and lunatics.

The thing about the mafiosos in the Nolan-verse, however, is that they're a great opportunity to stock the films with great character actors, such as Eric Roberts and Tom Wilkinson. So for Rupert, the most recognizable mob boss in Gotham, I wanted to go with one of the most recognizable actors to ever play a mob boss that I could think of: hence, Robert DeNiro, the man who played young Vito Corleone in 1974's Godather Part II. DeNiro's caliber as an actor, while belied by his recent films (like the god-awful Fockers franchise), is uncontestable-- this is one of the greatest actors, well, ever. He's played similar characters before, most notably Al Capone in 1987's The Untouchables. And thanks to the magic of time and pastrami sandwiches, he's now just about the right age and the proper size to bring Thorn to life on the big screen. Just put the guy in a suit, give the man a cigar, and stand back.


THE TALON/WILLIAM COBB-- Ray Park

As a huge fan of Batman and an avid comic book reader, it should come as a surprise to no one that I have fallen in love with Scott Snyder's exemplary work on the character in the New 52's Batman relaunch (and in Detective Comics before that). And one of the best things to come out of that book so far have been the emerging legends of the Court of Owls, and their implacable assassin known as the Talon. True, as we learned later in the story, the Court actually has several dozen Talons at their disposal, but it was the first one-- William Cobb, who's ultimately revealed to be the great-great grandfather of Dick Grayson-- who made the most remarkable impression, proving himself to easily be Batman's match as a martial artist. This alone makes him an enemy not to be trifled with... but when you add in that he's undead and nigh-unkillable, and that he has a penchant for using swords and bladed weapons that can cut right through Batman's armor, it's just icing on the cake.

Despite the fact that the character has been fleshed out recently in the comics, the original point of the Talon was that he was a faceless purveyor of death, so that's how I would most like to see him on film. To fill this role in the Nolan-verse, you wouldn't need an actor so much as a physical presence to inhabit the suit-- someone who can meet all the stunt requirements of the role, yet still leave an impression on the viewer without ever having seen the character's face. Stuntman-turned-actor Ray Park is a perfect fit for this kind of a role. Hell, he's done it at least twice, with Snake-Eyes in the first wretched G.I. Joe movie (hands-down the best part of that film) and as Darth Maul (whose face was frequently hidden and heavily made-up anyway) in Star Wars: Episode One (hands-down the best part of THAT film, too). So while his voice may have to be dubbed in by another actor (Park is a bit too Scottish for the role), I think Park would be the safest bet to give this masked, ruthless assassin the edge he needs.


JAMES GORDON JR.-- Ben Foster

Another pick from Scott Snyder's recent work on the Dark Knight, James Gordon Jr. is the grown son of Commissioner Gordon, who ended up becoming a sociopathic monster that even his father and his sister Barbara were terrified of (it's pretty heavily implied that this is because of some brain trauma suffered as a baby when Bruce caught him mid-fall at the end of Batman: Year One). Sure, we've already seen this guy in the films as a child, being held at gunpoint by Two-Face in The Dark Knight; and sure, he seemed like a totally fine, well-adjusted boy in that movie. But Snyder did something magical with this character during his run in Detective Comics, somehow making this ordinary-looking dweeb more chilling an adversary than most of Batman's established rogues gallery-- and while I might not actually want to see that little boy from TDK become the villain from the books, I'd at least like to choose an actor to fill the role, were it ever to become available.

Anytime I think "hollow-eyed, sociopathic killer", for some reason Ben Foster is the first guy that pops into my mind. Foster has played deranged freaks in a bunch of other movies, such as Hostage and 30 Days of Night; but at the same time, he's played his share of nice guys, too. So with Gordon, I'd like to see Foster balance the two sides of the character, creating a person that the audience can't get a solid read on. Is he a genuinely decent person just trying to reconnect with his estranged family, or a twisted madman plotting sadistic vengeance against the people he feels nothing for? That doubt should linger in an audience's mind until the very end, when Junior whips out the scalpels and forces his father and the Dark Knight to bring him down.


UPDATE! (SPOILERS)
LINCOLN MARCH/THOMAS WAYNE JR./OWLMAN: Ryan Gosling

A surprise addition from the latest issue of Batman-- once again, Scott Snyder has blown me away with a character that could fit right into Nolan's Bat-universe. Emerging from the build-up to the "Night of the Owls" crossover, Lincoln March was a crusading mayoral candidate who joined forces with Bruce Wayne to help develop and revitalize decaying urban sectors throughout Gotham City. This made him a target of the Court of Owls, and before long, March was dead-- killed by a Talon, but not before giving Bruce the vital clue he needed to track down the Court. However, in Batman #10, it is revealed that March is not only alive, but that he is, in fact, Bruce Wayne's younger brother, Thomas Wayne Jr. It seems there were complications with his delivery; Thomas was born mentally ill, and was kept discreetly in a children's psychiatric hospital to avoid scandal. The Court found him there after the death of his parents, and raised him to become the ultimate Talon. But Thomas betrayed the Court, killing them all and adopting the owl as his own symbol of power; in a sense, he became a counterpart between the mysterious Court and the Dark Knight himself. He became Owlman.

Owlman is one of those characters I've loved the idea of for years, but who was always approached the wrong way. He started out as an alternate-reality version of the Batman from Earth-3, where heroes are villains and vice-versa. Then Grant Morrison revived the character post-Crisis in JLA: Earth Two, giving us an awesome interpretation, but one who never actually meets Bruce or gets into a fight with Batman. I always felt like there was dramatic material there to explore, but no writer seemed willing to; from the start, he was part of the Crime Syndicate, so he only ever showed up in bombastic Justice League stories where character takes a backseat to action. But Snyder has finally taken Owlman out of the team setting and made him a personal villain for Batman to face-- someone to battle not just physically, but psychologically.

To play Owlman, you need to find someone who can play a dark reflection of Christian Bale's Batman, but also someone charming and charismatic enough to fool Wayne as Lincoln March. One actor who has demonstrated that kind of a range in a number of roles is Ryan Gosling. He's played murderers (Murder By Numbers), he's played nice guys (The Notebook, unfortunately), and he's played nice guys who are murderers (Drive); without a doubt, Gosling has the kind of talent you'd need for a complicated character like Thomas Jr. Hell, his subdued style might actually improve the character once he slips into full-on supervillain mode (it's always more interesting when an actor underplays a villain-type... especially when they monologue a lot). The guy's even a few years younger than Bale-- perfect for the junior Wayne brother!


LAZLO VALENTIN/PROFESSOR PYG-- Zach Galifianakis

Let's get something straight right now: I hated Grant Morrison's run on Batman. Despised it, even. In fact, I wrote a series of essays to that effect on another website, which basically amounted to a facepalm described in 30,000 words. But of all the sheer stupidity that was cranked out during that guy's time working with the character, the only contribution of any value whatsoever (other than Damian Wayne, who I think is pretty cool) was Professor Pyg, a psychotic genius with a flair for unnecessary surgery and chemical weapons. I by no means think this character was a brilliant creation, or even all that original, but he has a truly, strikingly creepy appearance and a catchy name, and of all the effluence churned out by Grant on his Batman stint, he's probably the least ridiculous (I still can't get over the fact that there's a Batman villain named El Flamingo now. In a pink bull-fighting outfit, no less). So I'm including him here, if for no other reason than to offset my clear bias towards Scott Snyder characters, and to throw in a little color, as well.

All you really need in an actor for this role is a guy who can mutter incomprehensible nonsense and make it sound creepy yet bizarrely funny at the same time. And call me lazy, but there's a really obvious choice for this character: Zach Galifianakis.

"But wait," you may say, "Galifianakis is a comedy actor! He has no business in a Chris Nolan Batman film!" Well, first of all, shut up-- this isn't a democracy, it's a dictatorship, and I say who plays what, got it? But secondly, I really think Galifianakis has a dark streak running through him; there are times when he brings a surprising degree of honest drama to his films, and I think the guy has a greater range than anyone would give him credit for. Sure, his Pyg would probably be funny... but I'm betting he would be genuinely unnerving, too.

Then again, he could always end up being the worst Bat-villain since Vincent Price's Egghead. But what do I care? I don't even like the character.


SUPPORTING:
VICKI VALE-- Rachel McAdams

With Catwoman, Rachel Dawes, and (probably) Talia all making appearances in the Dark Knight trilogy, the Nolan films seem to have Bruce's love life fairly well covered. But I grew up with Burton's '89 Batman as my formal introduction to the Caped Crusader, and as such I have a soft spot in my heart for Vicki Vale, ace photojournalist and the Lois Lane to Bruce Wayne's Superman. The dynamic between her character and Bruce was always interesting in my mind because, in an interesting twist from the Lois/Clark/Supes love triangle, Vicki was in love with Bruce Wayne, but was actually kind of frightened of Batman; she hunts down the truth about his identity not just as a scoop for the paper, but to expose and confront the dark side of his personality she feels he's hiding from the world. It's a dynamic and an arc that was explored plenty in Batman, but that I feel could be just as interesting (if not more so) in the Nolan-verse.

For these films, however, we would want a Vicki Vale with a little more range than Kim Basinger (who was really just a last-minute replacement for Sean Young, anyway), so my pick for Batman's leading lady would have to be Rachel McAdams. To tell you the truth, McAdams was actually my top pick to play Catwoman until Anne Hathaway scored the part; upon further consideration, though, I realized that she was just a little too perky and upbeat for Selina Kyle (especially since it looks like they're going the cold, calculating route for that character). But for Vicki Vale? She could bring an intelligence and vivaciousness to the part that I think was sorely lacking in the Burton film, and would give us a love interest that you could actually see Bruce falling for, despite himself.

She'd certainly make a better romantic lead than either Katie Holmes or Maggie Gyllenhaal, that's for sure...


DETECTIVE HARVEY BULLOCK-- Michael Chiklis

I was raised on a steady diet of "Batman: The Animated Series" as a kid, and so I always wondered why none of the Batman films ever featured Harvey Bullock, the doughnut-chomping, Brooklyn-accented tub-o'-lard who figured so prominently into the cartoons. Harvey was like the perfect counterpoint to Gordon-- the guy who couldn't stand Batman's interference with police business, and who only begrudgingly tolerated it because his boss wouldn't let him just shoot the freak. Harvey was still a good cop, though-- he might have been a slovenly lout, but the guy had his heart in the right place. Ironically, he just presented a voice of pragmatic reason in the madhouse that was Gotham City, asking the big question that no one else on the force had the balls to ask: "Sure, things are bad here, but are they really so bad that we need to accept help from a nutjob in a bat costume?"

I had a hard time casting this one, because there aren't a lot of obese, Brooklyn-esq cop-type character actors around much anymore (their numbers kind of peaked back in the days of "N.Y.P.D. Blue"), but one guy that kept popping back up the more I thought about it was Michael Chiklis. Now, I know the guy played the Thing, and I usually try not to cast people who've been in other CBMs already, but Chiklis just oozed New York in those Fantastic Four films in exactly the way I want from Bullock. Besides, he's already played a cop before-- several times, most notably on "The Shield"-- so all he'd really need for the part is a trenchcoat and a decent wig. And a box of doughnuts, of course...


DETECTIVE RENEE MONTOYA-- Michelle Rodriguez

Another character that was originally created for "Batman: The Animated Series" before making the jump to the comic books, Renee Montoya started out as a beat cop before making detective and being partnered with Harvey Bullock. Her characater has grown and evolved over the course of the comics, first being outed as a lesbian, then resigning from the police force after the murder of her partner by a corrupt cop, and finally taking on the mantle of the Question after the death of the original. We won't be taking her quite that far for the purposes of this article, however; to me, Montoya was one of the best cop characters in the DCU, and the fact that she was so obviously swapped out of The Dark Knight script for "Anna Ramierez" (a bargain-basement Montoya that they used only so they could make her a shill for the Mob without pissing off fans) just makes me want to see the real deal hit the big screen that much more.

As for my choice of actress, I know that I'm almost veering towards stereotyping by going with Michelle Rodriguez to play Montoya. She's played roles like this so many times, it's the only kind of part anyone can really see her in anymore (I certainly couldn't picture her as a damsel in distress, or as a stripper with a heart of gold. Though Lord knows I've tried on that last one...). But like Jack Nicholson's turn as the Joker, the only reason it seems so obtuse is because of just how perfectly it matches up. Rodriguez has been playing the driven, sometimes brooding, all-business Montoya for years now; she just needed a filmmaker to team her up with Bullock and set them loose in the streets of Gotham. And if Chris Nolan had turned out to be that filmmaker... honestly, I can't think of anything that could have been more perfect.


SERGEANT SARAH ESSEN-- Julianne Moore

One notable omission from Batman Begins' comprehensive collection of Batman: Year One characters was Detective Sarah Essen, the cop working the Batman case with Gordon whom Jim ends up falling for and having an affair with. I get why they wouldn't want to do this to movie Gordon, since he's pretty much the most decent guy in Gotham City in these films, but the thing is, Essen has a history with Jim following that book, and I think it's kind of an important one. When Gordon and his first wife Barbara end up divorced, Gordon ends up hooking back up with Sarah, and the two stayed together for years afterwards (until the events of "No Man's Land", which I don't want to spoil for anyone-- if you haven't read it yet, DO IT NOW). She was a tough cop in her own right, and she gave Gordon the kind of support that he really needed; in a sense, she was the Commissioner Gordon to his Batman. But a Commissioner Gordon that Batman... could... sleep with...

... Eww. Uhhh... forget I ever said that.

The point is, she was an integral part of Gordon's life, and so I think it would only be appropriate that she be a part of the movies, as well (since Gordon's been such a big presence in them this time around). She could show up after The Dark Knight, or something (since I don't think Gordon's wife would stay with him long after the whole "Harvey Dent tried to kill me and my children to get back at you" thing); since he would be a Commissioner at that point, she could be a Sergeant. And as for who could play her? Frankly, the only person who fits the role in my mind is Julianne Moore. She's played a cop before, and she usually ends up in strong female leads-- plus, though she's about the same age as Gary Oldman, she looks younger, thus preserving the (apparent) age difference between Gordon and Essen.


BARBARA GORDON-- Hayden Panettiere

I may have made an allowance for the Boy Wonder to be on this list, but that doesn't mean I'm a fan of the "Batman family" concept, nor that I'd want to see them in the movies. In fact, I hate the idea of the Batman family-- I feel that the more characters you link to the Dark Knight as partners or associates, the more it weakens his core concept (he IS supposed to be a loner, after all). And with a few exceptions (the new Batwoman being a personal favorite), the characters aren't really all that interesting in and of themselves, anyway (Huntress? Azrael? F$#@ing El Gaucho, The Hood, and Nightrunner? Does anyone really care about these characters?). So I wouldn't really want to see these heroes clutter up the big screen anytime soon... but I do like the idea of hinting at their potential future existence in the films. One of the things I think Batman Begins did so well was that it hinted at the larger Batman universe without devoting a lot of screentime to it, either through off-hand dialogue, the occasional prop, or a small cameo. And that would be something I'd love them to do with the only other member of the Batman family I can really stand: Barbara Gordon.

Barbara, destined to eventually be Batgirl (and/or possibly Oracle), has already shown up once before, like her brother James Jr., in The Dark Knight-- and like him, I'd want to wind the clock forward a little to meet her as a teenager just old enough to have a clear character, but not yet ready to take on the mantle of Batgirl. To play the smart, bubbly teenage Barbara, I think the best choice would be Hayden Panettiere, best known as "the cheerleader" Claire Bennett from the T.V. show "Heroes". She can be the kind of vivacious young woman that we'd want to see become Batgirl, even if we never do... and if we did, well, she's already played a devoted teenage daughter with a secret, so that part wouldn't be too hard for her, either. Just palette-swap some red hair onto her, and she'd be good to go!


SASHA BORDEAUX-- Charlize Theron

A supporting character added during Greg Rucka's excellent run on Detective Comics (the first one, that is-- not the equally-excellent run starring Batwoman), Sasha Bordeaux started as a bodyguard hired by Lucias Fox and the Wayne Enterprises board to protect Bruce Wayne because... well, because he's kind of a supervillain magnet. Later on, she wound up joining Checkmate, turning into a semi-OMAC cyborg, and helping to save the world a few times (hey, who hasn't?), but it's the bodyguard thing that really appeals to me here. Bruce Wayne being forced to have a bodyguard (who isn't in on the whole "I'm Batman" thing) led to some really great drama and more than a few "Three's Company"-type situations; adding to that was the fact that Bordeaux was a beautiful and intelligent woman who very quickly started to realize that something strange was going on with Bruce Wayne. Ultimately he revealed his secret to her, made her a costumed crime fighter for a while, and the two even fell in love... but by then they'd been broken up by the events of "Bruce Wayne: Murderer" (spoiler alert: he didn't do it) and she'd joined Checkmate, so, as with all of Bruce Wayne's romances, it ended up falling apart.

First and foremost, Sasha Bordeaux is a bodyguard, so from the get-go you need an actress who can handle herself physically to play this role; also, she would need to be very attractive (to lead to some "Bruce Wayne: Womanizer"-type humor), but she'd need a powerful emotional range to go through the roller-coaster of drama Bordeaux endures at Wayne's hands. Therefore, I think the only way to go would be with Charlize Theron. An Oscar-winning actress, she would have absolutely no trouble with the character's dramatic arc, and as we've seen in films like Aeon Flux, she can easily handle the action requirements. And as for attractiveness? Well, that's pretty self-evident. Theron would make for a bodyguard that even Batman would have a tough time keeping ahead of.

***

And that's it! My personal wish-list of the Batman characters that we'll never seen in the Nolan-verse, but that I wish we had.

Although they may not have had room in them for some of the more outlandish aspects of the Bat-universe, I still consider these films to be the most definitive interpretation of the character ever put to film. Unfortunately, three movies will only allow you to go so far when you're adapting a character with seventy-plus years of backlogged continuity... so I'm more than happy to fill in the blanks in this cinematic universe, giving faces to characters that Chris Nolan, Jonathan Nolan, and David Goyer never got a chance to introduce us to themselves, for one reason or another.

I'm sure I left off plenty of people's favorites, and there were a few that I just couldn't make room for-- Dr. Leslie Thompkins, for one, who I would love to see played by Susan Sarandon-- but if you have a good idea for a character that I missed, or if you have a better candidate for any of these casting decisions, let me know in the comments below!