I've bee wanting to write this review for a long ass time. This has to be BY FAR the biggest disappointment that has ever dared to place its ugly face on the big screen. No movie, I REPEAT, will have a higher anticipation level from me than JP3.
The first two films are monumental achievements. The Second, is my favorite all-time movie. Went to it when I was 10, will always hold a special place in my heart. So when I heard they were making a third film, I was instantly on the bandwagon. I seriously marked down the days until the release date. The week before its official release, I read a review from a respected critic saying that it was a mediocre piece of trash and didn't come close to its predecessors. It didn't sway me at all, considering I have never really taken a critic's grade into account.
I was unprepared for the great disappointment that was at hand.
Jurassic Park 3 is a more than a hit and miss. Its a misguided mess, edited poorly, with forgettable characters, clueless direction and a weak script that can't give the movie any soul. Joe Johnston took the torch that Spielberg passed to him, pissed on it, tossed it in the garbage disposal, took the remains and tortured starving Ethiopian children by making them eat it.
Sam Niel is back, but not as the likeable fossil digger we had in the original film. He's a very good actor, shows great emotion in most of his roles, but with this franchise's third installment, he comes with a bland, boring, unlikeable and ultimately forgettable performance. The plot is more of the same. People go to a dinosaur infested island, something goes horribly wrong, they get stuck, a few characters die off, and the survivors must find a way off. There really is no originality in the story line to be perfectly honest with you.
Erik Kerby (Trevor Morgan) is Para-sailing near Isla Sorna (Site B) with his mother's boyfriend. However the passengers aboard the boat they're being towed by are eaten and the ship crashes, thus causing them to unhook themselves and sail onto the island. So what do Erik's parents do? Well they turn to Dr. Alan Grant of course. They bribe him and Billy Brennen (whose basically his apprentice) into taking them on a 'tour' of Isla Sorna. They say a 'tour' since they try to be a couple of rich folk stating that they've been every where dangerous in the world but not where the dinosaurs lie. Grant and Billy reluctantly go along. Once on the island, their plane crashes (figures) and they become witness to what Johnston and their so called off-screen 'Paleontologist' calls 'the biggest meat-eater alive'....Spinosaurus.
*sigh*
I used to read hundreds of Dinosaur books when I was young, absorbing tons of material on hundreds of types of the prehistoric beasts. All of which (that I can remember) Stated that the Tyrannosaurus Rex was the biggest meat-eating dinosaur that walked the Earth. Its obvious that the filmakers wanted to switch from T-Rex to Spino so they could get a different face on screen. But trying to sell fake material? Really wow. If you were to watch 'The Making of JP3' When they interview the Paleontologist, you can tell he's lying through his teeth when he says Spino was bigger than 'The King of the Dinosaurs'. T-rex was as big as a house. Spinosaurus was no bigger than a Ford F-150. But since T-rex carried the first two films, Spino was the next choice.
Fail.
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Spiney and T-rex duke it out, with Spinosaurus killing the King by snapping his neck. From that point on is where this movie goes on a roller coaster ride to hell. I remember 10 years ago after the T-rex died, a third of the people in my theater stood up and walked out. I wanted to so badly, (I should have really) but I kept telling myself it would get better.
Not only does the title character change, but the Velociraptors change as well.
Now I do like this design of the raptor considering that there are some fossils that were found of Raptors with feathers. There is no denying that the visuals are stunning and are the best of the trilogy. But that's all that there is to this flick. Dinosaurs. With the first two movies, the special effects served the story. Now its the other way around.
When people die in this movie, you don't care. Unlike the first two films you got pissed seeing your favorite characters, but in JP3, you're first response is, 'oh that dude got eaten alive. Oh well.' Johnston does little to incorporate magic or emotional depth when the people die in the plot. He only wanted to see the dinos onscreen. This is by far Johnston's worst movie to date. Yeah Wolfman was mediocre, but it was far more enjoyable than this piece of trash.
Its sad really. There have been several movies that have disappointed me-X3, Spider-man 3, Matrix Revolutions, Revenge of the Fallen, Iron Man 2 etc. But NONE have come close to the caliber of JP3. Spielberg was less embarrassed from Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. With the Pterydactals flying off in the sunset as a conclusion really isn't fascinating. The way The Lost World ended with the herds of Dinos walking around was far better.
In conclusion, Jurassic Park 3 is a mess. What makes it more of a disappointment is that there was so much wasted potential standing here. Its too much of the same without creativity or heart. If JP4 is Directed by Johnston consider it a failure. He worked wonders with Cap, Jumanji and October Sky, but with Dinosaurs? His direction is just as dry as the fossils.
FINAL GRADE:
D
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comments?
let me know.