Dark Kent Reviews Man Of Schism

Dark Kent Reviews Man Of Schism

The most polarizing movie this year happens to be about the most recognizable comic icon. How did he do on his latest outing?

Review Opinion
By Firgosaurus - Jun 18, 2013 11:06 PM EST
Filed Under: Superman



As a film that has a budget of 225 million dollars. Man of Steel have a lot of hopes, and dreams, and other shenanigans riding on it's shoulders. DC has been struggling to keep up with Marvel Studios for the past 3 years now. Like a fat kid chasing an Olympian.

With that said, Man Of Steel is DC/WB's attempt at the superhero comic book genre after their very successful "The Dark Knight Trilogy" by Mr. Puffylips Nolan. This movie was of course produced by 2/3rd's of the creative team that created what was arguably the greatest "Comic Book Movie Trilogy Of All Time."

The creative team of Snyder, Nolan, and Goyer wanted to make Superman relevant in our times and most of the time they succeeded with the story. But ultimately the movie was littered with questionable decisions in terms of pacing, editing, and dialogue.

The story starts off very well with a very great looking CGI, very lively world. An entire movie could have been dedicated to Krypton with its denizens; Superstar Scientist, and Man Of The Year: Michael Jor(dan)-El, Not So-Masterful Strategist General Dru-Zod, and the team of Lady Gagas running the planet. It was strongly believed that the Kryptonians tried harvesting the core to make themselves more fabulous. Unfortunately that didn't happen and it backfired on them.

A great deal of detail was given in terms of characterizing the aliens of Krypton. The same cannot be said about their vernacular and dialect. There're about 5000 different Englishes spoken on that planet and the "Oh, ah, argh language spoken by Zod's cronies. Fortunately an inconsistency such as that, doesn't make or break the film. It merely makes the crowd ask the question: "If there's Australian Krypton, will there be Tijuana Krypton?"

As the film moved away from Krypton. We were treated with Earth scenes completely stolen from Discovery Channel. At this point we were witnessing a very muted, handsome, hairy Clark Kent.

Clark Kent was played by Henry Cavill. His performance as the Big Blue Boy Scout was more Big Blue Asshole. He used his powers for good, but with the recklessness of a drunken idiot. Suffice to say he wasn't as caring in this movie. What Cavill excelled at though was the character of Clark Kent. There were instances where Cavill sold the scene by himself. Who needs supporting actors right?

Henry as Clark was a stroke of genius. He's genuine, humble, but you don't want to fvck with him or touch his Momma. His very manly Clark Kent was a nice change from the bumbling idiot Reeve and Routh played respectively.

Flanking Henry were a cast of the most acclaimed actors in Hollywood. He's got 2 Robin Hoods, A MILF, A psychopath, Morpheus, and of course my wife Amy Adams. Solid cast who tried their hardest to give weight in each characters. To some extent this worked with characters such as Perry, Johnathan, and Martha.

Sadly, even with great actors the screenplay cannot be saved. The dialogue was very ambiguous in tone. It simply wanted to be a variety of things that the end result was a very messy, disjointed delivery of dialogues. The monologues was far more effective. But who the fvck wants to listen to those?

The other problem that bogged down this piece was the heavy reliance on quick cuts and short scenes. A movie with this scope and ambition should have utilized longer scenes fleshing out the story arcs enough that it didn't need to be reiterated. The storytelling felt trite and repetitive.

Man Of Steel may have these problems but this is probably the most GLORIOUS movie available at the moment. From set design to the character designs. This movie looks and feels amazing. The decision to use a shoulder mounted camera almost worked to perfection as it truly immersed those who was sold on the film from the get go. The shakiness of the camera was evident but it was a none issue for the most part as the cinematography used a variety of colors to balance the screen presentation. It also helped that this movie's licensing and merchandising partners were featured primarily to contrast the imagery created by Snyder and co.

It's neat to see a Sears or a 7-11 and have Superman and his enemies inhabit that surrounding.

Regarding the music. It felt epic but at the same time derivative? Who keeps giving Hans Zimmer a fvcking oil barrel?

Moving on......

In conclusion,

The action and the man himself should get you guys excited about the film and the direction it's going. It's the very beginning of the so-called DC Cinematic Universe.

Fans have been longing for Superman to kick ass. He kicks ass here. And he literally bankrupted Geico, Allstate, and other insurance companies that has to cover the destruction.

This movie gets the distinctive tags of:




SIDENOTE: BRING ON JONAH NOLAN TO CLEAN UP GOYER'S SHITTY WRITING!
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quas666
quas666 - 6/19/2013, 12:03 AM
Nice review, I agree with alot of what you said, and I hated how the same theme from the score popped up EVERY SINGLE [frick]ING TIME!!!
Brainiac13
Brainiac13 - 6/19/2013, 5:45 AM
Nice review.....agree with Jonah commin in next time.
AZSuperman
AZSuperman - 6/19/2013, 8:19 AM
Great review! Thanks!
bagadoosh
bagadoosh - 6/19/2013, 10:43 AM
I say 5 out of 5 stars for the actors who promoted this movie , they really sold me on this being a perfect film when they clearly had to see the same flaws we all see.
TheAmazingSpidey63
TheAmazingSpidey63 - 6/19/2013, 1:15 PM
"Flanking Henry were a cast of the most acclaimed actors in Hollywood. He's got 2 Robin Hoods, A MILF, A psychopath, Morpheus, and of course my wife Amy Adams."

LMFAO!!! Such a perfect descrition on such an ensemble cast. But seriously, though, really did love the cast of the film, and among other things, too. You got one helluva review, @FIRG. Not only do you have my approval, but the approval of @Nomis, as well...


;P


Oh, and a boatfull of hoes...



;)
UrbanKnight
UrbanKnight - 6/19/2013, 2:38 PM
Nice HOES.
knocturnalzen10
knocturnalzen10 - 6/19/2013, 4:21 PM
Frig is outta his frig mind smh lol good view man
lucio7lopez
lucio7lopez - 6/21/2013, 1:33 AM
Really sexy! Thanks for the mention about my wife Antje Traue!
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