Banner in the Woods

Prologue:  Banner and Stark's breakup

They call me a monster, and they're not far off. Who am i? Some call me Bruce, others call me Banner, however i consider myself to be nothing more than Tony Stark's lover. Don't let him know that i told you that though, or he might pull out his Hulkbuster and knock some sense into my green ass. Anywho, before i allow myself to get carried away, i should take things back, back to that day.

Chapter One: Stark's alcoholism 

"F*CK YOU, B*TCHES!! I'M MOTHERF*CKING IRON MAN, I DO WHAT I WANT!!!" Said Stark as he downed another bottle. He proceeded to shoot his repulsor ray all up in Black Widows face, ackin' like it ain't no thang. Then Widow was all like, "Shit Tony, you been hittin' dat sauce too hard, ya ain't gettin' nun of dis booty if'n ya c'nt learn to sober up" Stark stared blankly directly at Widow's face for a good two and a half minutes before he opened his smug, douchey face. "Natasha, i like you, and i like your ass. But when you tell me to stop drinking booze it makes me want to smack you upside the head" After Stark made this rude comment to Natasha, she talked about it to Clint, but Clint didn't seem to care, he was too busy fondling his bow and thinking about Thor's sexy musculature, and all the erotic things he would love to do to his perfect chiseled, amazing body. Clint got so turned on by his dirty Thor thoughts that he decided to see if he could give Thor a hand polishing Mjolnir. But alas, it turned out that Thor was currently absent due to important matters in Asgard. So Clint decided to go have a cold shower to try and cool down. Meanwhile, somewhere out in the wilderness, Banner was roasting some wieners. He was mildly upset that he had no one to share his wieners with so he pulled out his phablet and dialed up Tony Stark and proceeded to ask him to come out and have some delicious wieners roasted over a campfire. Stark suited up into his brand spankin' new Mark 91871627362762 Wienerbuster Armor and flew the [frick] right on over to Banner's location in the woods. But......OH NO!!!! Stark forgot to bring enough booze to last through the night, so he quickly turned around. FWOOOOSH!!! Tony quickly flew back and grabbed as much Alcohol as he could possibly carry and carried on to his destination.