How Batman and Robin Could've Been Good!

How Batman and Robin Could've Been Good!

Shocking, yes, but read on fine reader and you'll see what I mean!

Editorial Opinion
By punishermax12 - Jan 31, 2011 05:01 PM EST
Source: ComicBookMovie.com

Batman and Robin: It is a name that inspires anger, rage, frustration, and sometimes even tears from most Batman fans. I myself hated the living crap out of that movie. But, as I was looking up movies in Blockbuster for movie night with my bride-to-be, I stumbled upon Batman and Robin and read the back of it. Obviously, the description of the movie upped the hell out of it, but I realized that the whole concept of the movie wasn’t that bad. I mean, yes, a giant freezing gun is REALLY over the top and childish, but it wasn’t BAD. Batman Forever was goofy and childish, but I still liked it (Come on, that opening speech by Two-Face was awesome). And now I’m going to discuss everything that could’ve gone RIGHT with Batman and Robin.

The Opening Sequence: Ok, you seriously have a lot of problems if there’s a problem with the opening sequence. Besides the good score (not great like Danny Elfman’s but not bad by any stretch of the imagination), the opening sequence was annoying. Did that zooming or whatever of all the actors’ names annoy anyone else? And why was AH-nold’s name before George Clooney’s? I hated that Jack Nicholson’s was put in front of Michael Keaton’s in Batman, but at least it made sense as Nicholson worked much more with his considerable amount of more screen time. But AH-nold’s before Clooney’s? That’s just relying on star power to attract the audience. They should’ve put Clooney before Arnold, and stopped that stupid zooming of the names and just went with a regular, not bullcrap intro.

That Goddamn Joke at the Beginning: Ok, so the Bat-Tits and the Bat-Crotches I can choke down, but really? “This is why Superman works alone?” Ok, so in Steel (CURSE YOU SHAQ!) they mentioned the Batcave, I can live with that, and in Batman Forever they make an actually pretty clever reference to Metropolis, but that doesn’t mean you should just blatantly spell it out. They might as well have just bashed the audience with a “WE”VE GOT CONTINUITY!” sign as they entered the theatre. So Step 2: TAKE OUT THAT STUPID REFERENCE! WE KNOW SUPERMAN EXISTS; YOU DON’T HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT FOR US.

Mr. Freeze’s Damn Ice Jokes: Okay so “I’m afraid my condition has left me cold to your pleas of mercy” was fine, “The Iceman Cometh!” was…bearable. But every joke after that… “Let’s kick some ice”…was BULLSHIT! Mr. Freeze is an unforgiving son of a bitch, not some wise cracking happy meal toy. Word of advice: DROP THOSE DAMN ICE JOKES, except for the one about mercy; that was ok.

Bane: [PUNSIHER MAX IS NOT AVAILABLE TO TYPE THIS SECTION OF THIS EDITORIAL. HE IS CURRENTLY BEING PACIFIED FOR REASONS OF EXTREME RAGE AND AGRESSION TOWARDS HIS KEYBOARD, RESULTING IN 58 TYPINGS OF THE PHRASE “YOU UNFAITHFUL-TO-THE-COMIC-BOOKS ASSHOLE”. WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE.]

Batgirl: In Batman Forever, Dick Grayson, before he put on the mantle of Robin officially, served an importance to the plot. But what importance to the plot did Batgirl serve in a movie called Batman and Robin? Any? If you’re going to put in a new character how about you actually make that character matter? AT ALL!!!!

I need to lie down; all this anger is giving me a headache. I’ll upload a part 2 sometime this week. Comments are appreciated.

And BTW for those of you who have been following my new story EMPEROR, I am going to be uploading 2 Chapters in fan fic sometime this week, and if you haven’t read it feel free to look it up on my page and leave a comment!

Until Next Time…

BATMAN & ROBIN Stars Arnold Schwarzenegger And Uma Thurman Reunite In New Photo: Watch Out, Batman
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xBlaze96x
xBlaze96x - 1/31/2011, 6:30 PM
ahhhh...hit the nail on the head...but i realized that when i was a little kid watching it...i could sit and watch it but now i can only get half way through....but the description on the back is what gets ya...and clooney had a smug look on his face in that movie too kinda like "yea it sucks but we still made it,"

XD
RoscoeFolgers
RoscoeFolgers - 1/31/2011, 7:35 PM
You can choke down Bat-Crotches?
Jp499
Jp499 - 1/31/2011, 8:39 PM
The new spider-man has a Spidey-Crotch, or Web Crotch?

I'll stop before this gets dirty.b
SHHH
SHHH - 1/31/2011, 8:47 PM
The Memories!!



Tkiller
Tkiller - 1/31/2011, 9:44 PM
Bat-credit card! anything else to say about that movie?
TheFormerMetropolis
TheFormerMetropolis - 1/31/2011, 9:48 PM
I've thought about this before, and I've come to the conclusion that if Arnold Schwarzenegger was completely silent in the movie, it would have been so much different/probably amazing, no matter if all the other characters remained campy. I never bothered to check, but I also believed Batman & Robin was a nod to the Adam West TV show in the 60s that similarly didn't take itself seriously.
Jer3miah
Jer3miah - 1/31/2011, 10:39 PM
... How about... Clooney's portrayal of Batman was the worst ever. Why? 'Cuz he was CLOONEY in and out of the damn suit! Lol, there was no split personality difference! That was, for me, one of the worst aspects of that film. Still, I can bear to watch it.. Oh, and Bane being brainless. And Ivyu's retarded one-liners. Felt like I was watching a bad episode of Power Rangers when they battled that monster that always had some punch-line rhyme, lol. Besides that.. still FAIL.
BlackSands
BlackSands - 1/31/2011, 10:45 PM
@TheMetropolisMarvel: you're right on one thing.... if taken as a nod to the Adam West Campy tv show, the movie really isn't half bad and more or less does it proud. And no, that ain't sarcasm... as admittedly bad as the movie was if really taken seriously compared to the tone taken by the Tim Burton originals, one could see a departure of the "Dark" in the Dark Knight after Burton left the franchise and someone else took over until it was returned when Nolan got attached to the franchise. Hollywood never really considered making a "serious" comic book movie beyond what Burton did due to the fact most of the old-timers in charge back in the day usually thought of comic book movies as simply those for the "for kids" crowd/category... in their mindset: not to be taken seriously.
YakeTheSnake
YakeTheSnake - 1/31/2011, 10:51 PM
Don't get me wrong, I dig George Clooney. I think he's a good actor, and most of his movies are good. But, BATMAN?!?!? Yeah, he didn't even bother to change his voice in the Bat Suit. He did make a decent Bruce Wayne, though. And, his career is the only one that wasn't destroyed by this movie... Uma Thurman had "Kill Bill Vol.1 and Vol.2," but that was it...
GrayFox1025
GrayFox1025 - 1/31/2011, 10:53 PM
Who could forget the opening ice skating scene. We all know batman doesn't go anywhere without his Bat-Skates
SageMode
SageMode - 1/31/2011, 11:07 PM
This movie was horrible in every possible way. Mr. Freeze and his corny-ass metaphors. SMH! EPIC FAIL
JHowlett
JHowlett - 1/31/2011, 11:20 PM
I've done it I've nailed down where the sht hit the fan with the original Bat franchise. When it started trying to be like that freakin TV show. That's where things went from good to crap it started in Batman Forever and ended up as the monstrosity that is Batman and Robin. Why was the Riddler and Two-Face made into crappy imitations of the Joker why were Ivy and Freeze spewing out the worst one liners ever and why did the heroes of the film say even worse ones? No respect for the source material, why make a complex story when we can imitate the crappy TV show. They made a crappy kids movie out of a classic comic character hell if they would have tried to imitate the animated series that would have made for a much better movie. If Batman and Robin had basically been a live action version of the animated movie Subzero I think I could have stood to actually see it.
Knightstalker
Knightstalker - 1/31/2011, 11:42 PM
There is NO way B&R could have been good. I think Schumacher succeeded in finding every way possible to make a bad movie with no redemming qualities whatsoever. To this day if I saw Schumacher on the street I would punch him in the throat.
Mazoku
Mazoku - 1/31/2011, 11:52 PM
Ya sorry dude, that movie is awful no matter what, and u know what... so was Batman Forever! They raped the riddler as a character, beware the riddler and his evil cable boxes!!
The biggest problem with both of those movies was the writing, i havnt seen a worse written series than schumachers Batman films.

ooo the directing, acting, etc was horrible as well xD.
JHowlett
JHowlett - 2/1/2011, 12:33 AM
@Mazoku That is the best way I've heard it said "They raped the riddler as a character" Jim Carrey can be a good actor but the nature of the film ruined any chance of him bringing any credibility to the role. Since when is the the Riddler a comic relief? The riddler is suppose to be a guy who mind F*s you then kills you I think that could have been pulled off but the whole intention behind the movie killed any chance of that.
croniccris
croniccris - 2/1/2011, 1:21 AM
i dont know about you guys and gals but i LOVED this movie......











kidding ;)
CrackedVersionProductions
CrackedVersionProductions - 2/1/2011, 1:34 AM
i remember back when i was a kid i love this movie and as i grow up reading comics i hate it now
RimCreaperUK
RimCreaperUK - 2/1/2011, 4:39 AM
I actually paid good money to see this when it came out, Lord forgive me!
Coldblood6
Coldblood6 - 2/1/2011, 5:15 AM
How to make Batman & robin good:

Step 1: Burn every copy in existence!

Step 2: Delete every reference in existence!

Step 3: Get a group of powerful telepaths to erase all memory from it from every mind in existence! (aka pull a Sentry)

There, see how easy that was?

flyingbyhisseat
flyingbyhisseat - 2/1/2011, 6:07 AM
@coldblood6

..and don't make robin a whinny bitch!!!!!!!!
Question
Question - 2/1/2011, 7:41 AM
only in terms of engrossing numbers...and details.

...Batman Returns, budget 80 mill, engrossed 266 mill
...only about a 186 mill increase from budget

...Batman Forever, budget 100 mill, engrossed 336 mill
...236 mill increase from budget

...but Batman & Robin, budget 140 mill, engrossed 238 mill
...still an increase of 98 mill from budget

only varying difference between the 3 actually...Batman Returns is obviously directed by Tim Burton, one of the highest engross films of 1992...but as it was said by some of the audiences that movie was actually too dark for your kids to see at the time, which is why it doesn't look like it made all that much.

Batman Forever on the other hand, was directed by Joel Schumacher, but was produced by Tim Burton and it had a better increase money wise. Even though it was a more friendly-pleasing to the eyes feel to it, less darker than the last two movies. Second-highest engrossing movie in 1995, behind Toy Story.

Batman & Robin, is pretty much laid out...directed by Joel Schumacher, but wasn't produced by Tim Burton...it is said that Mr. Freeze's one-liner jokes killed Batman's film series and that was it...the Batman projects had to be renewed, Batman Begins.

I for one, don't actually enjoy the new Batman movies, because there's something always missing between it all (actually the music is only thing worth mentioning, music was great for Nolan's Batman)...I know it's made alotta money and its made people happy about Batman...its just the little things that bother me. That is all.
Orphix
Orphix - 2/1/2011, 9:03 AM
The main problem with Batman & Robin is, of course, it's tone.

Campy doesn't neccesarily equal shit. The 60's series, even though camp, was funny, clever and referenced pop culture at a time when no other prime time TV series had done.

Jump to the 90's and it is too knowing, too retrospective in a bad way AND worst of all it takes characters that were set-up tonally very differently in the previous films and tries to make them behave so strangely that any drama and narrative is instantly ham-strung.

Anyway - it's all ancient history now. :o)
JHowlett
JHowlett - 2/1/2011, 10:53 AM
Batman the animated series was suppose to be a "kids thing" and that those animated movies were better done than Batman Forever and Batman and Robin
punishermax12
punishermax12 - 2/1/2011, 1:01 PM
Wow... i expected 10 comments max...much less being on the front page.

@Relentless sorry dude, no copying or similarities intended.
tocap
tocap - 2/1/2011, 1:28 PM
coldblood: i agree that's the only way. too ba dwe don't live in a comic....
punishermax12
punishermax12 - 2/1/2011, 1:34 PM
well if we lived in a comic our entire existence would be threatened on a regular basis so...
ThomYorke
ThomYorke - 2/1/2011, 2:26 PM
i really must watch this again. i keep forgetting how funny it is
Rubbers
Rubbers - 2/1/2011, 3:06 PM
"Holy rusty metal, Batman!"

At least director Screwmaker apologized for B&R. Even Val Kilmer saw POS written all over that onr. His replacement, George Clooney, desperate for work, couldn't even save that script, or any other actor for that matter. Talk about lacking character development! Batgirl was created in less than two film minutes, as was Bane, as was Poison Ivy, as was Mr. Freeze.

"All I wanted to do was create a fun family film" - Schumacher

And there, ladies and gents, was your problem!
TheBatman938865
TheBatman938865 - 2/1/2011, 11:58 PM
Batman & Robin needs to be number one in that list of yours lol i agree on Superman 3 and 4 Blade 3 was good....Superman Returns was okay....needed more action.
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