The Boondocks
Act 1 scene 1
Black screen fades into overhead view of south Chicago to Woodcrest Baltimore. Then shoes Huey in airplane looking out of window next to him is riley playing video games and granddad sleeping.
Huey: (narrating) I am not a prophet, but sometimes I have prophetic dreams, like the one where I was at a garden party.
Shows Huey walking to the podium on the stage at a garden party. He taps the microphone to get the crowd’s attention.
Huey: Excuse me. Everyone, I have a brief announcement to make. Jesus was black, Ronald Reagan was the Devil, I mean come on his first middle and last name all have six letters in them, get it six six six, and the government was lying about 9/11. Thank you for your time and good night.
The people suddenly erupt into a riot. Huey wakes up, and is immediately smacked by Granddad.
Granddad: Mmm-hmm! You were havin' that dream where you made the white people riot, weren't you?
Huey: But I was telling the truth!
Granddad: How many times have I told you, you better not even dream about tellin' white folk the truth! You understand me? (Walks away) Shoot! Makin' White people riot! You better learn how to lie like me! I'm gonna find me a white man and lie to him right now! Now come on boy the plane is landing
Shows Huey, Riley and Granddad getting out of the then cuts to them getting their luggage. Then cuts to them getting in a taxi. Riley falls asleep in the taxi and starts dreaming.
Act 1 scene 2
Riley: (narrating) I am not a gangsta yet, but I do thank and dream like one, like the one where I was at my office being the crime lord of the world
Riley is wearing a flattop hat that has RF on it (standing for Riley Freeman). He is sitting at a desk that has tons of 100 dollar bills on it. Tons of women only wearing bikinis were standing around him and on the side wall there were huge cases showing different cars. Then 20 thugs come in asking for money Riley Looks at a huge man on his left. The man shoots all of them. All the girl kisses riley everywhere on his face. Riley wakes up, and is immediately smacked by Granddad
Granddad: Mmm-hmm! You were havin' that dream where you was a rich gangbanger and you have tons of cars women and money.
Riley: Man granddad don’t be a killjoy
Granddad: Don’t talk back to ya elders. You should respect us. Without me you wouldn’t be livin fool. Also I have much joy. When I listen to Clarence Carter I get giddy and start dancing and singing
Riley: You were singing and dancing? Oh good. I thought you were having a seizure.
Granddad: boy if you thought I was having a seizure why didn’t you help me?
Riley: So I don’t gotta have a playa hata on my back every 2 seconds. That Dream was about to get to the FUN song.
Granddad: What is that?
Riley: you don’t wanna know
Granddad: Ooh Riley I bet it’s inappropriate. So when I get out this car I’m gonna take off this belt and slap you silly. Boy you also on punishment until September 8th.
Riley: Granddad you trippin that’s a month and 8 days.
Granddad: How can I trip when I’m sitting down?
Riley: *sigh*
Starts playing the theme from the boondocks cartoon. The taxi gets to the house. Riley, Huey, and Granddad get out of the car and walk inside. When they get in Huey and Riley sit down there bags and run outside.
Granddad: where you goin boys?
Huey: We’re going to take a look around the neighborhood Granddad.
Granddad: Oh wait I got a present for Riley.
Granddad takes off his belt and spanks riley 4 times
Riley: OOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!
Huey: Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha
Riley: Shut up Ni-
Granddad: Ooh Riley you ain’t about to say the n-word, cause if you is, the police should just turn me in to the big house know
Riley: for what?
Granddad: Child Abuse and Homicide.
Riley runs off. Huey sighs and follows Riley until they get around the corner.
Act 1 scene 3
Huey: Riley, I want you to know something
Riley: What?
Huey: we’re not in Chicago anymore. These people are well-off… Comfortable.
These are not the hard streets of the south side. Do you understand me?
Riley: I think I do. I mean I’m the meanest toughest most notorious thing for
miles. And I can run amok dis…
Turns to the street corner to see what street he lives on now.
Riley: Aw no! Heck no. I do not l live on naw timid deer lane.
Huey: now you do
Riley: Shut up fool! I gots to do somtin about dis
Huey: And what are you gonna do?
Riley: I’m gonna…I’m gonna be myself
Huey: A stupid 8 year old kid who thinks he’s gangsta when he’s really just a
lame wanna be, cause if you are that then you are doing your job perfectly
Riley: did I not tell you to shut up? Like I was saying I gonna be a swaging
cool beasty gangbanger. I could run free around here without fear. Huey I’m da
new boss around here.
Huey: nope you don’t get what I’m saying
Huey and Riley walk down the street in awkward silence.
Riley: Huey?
Huey: Yes Riley?
Riley: What’s dat smell?
Huey: That smell is clean air, don’t worry we’ll get used to it.
Riley: I wish. This place stank.
Riley: I’m going back to the house to plan out my…plan.
Riley Runs off. A girl with a huge afro puff comes up to Huey as he’s walking.
Girl: Hi! I’m Jazmine. I just moved in across the street. What’s your name?
Huey: Huey. It’s nice to see that some black people live around here.
Jazmine: Um…gee, um why…why do you think I’m…um… black?
Huey: Well first of all Mariah. Your afro is bigger than mine.
Jazmine: I DO NOT HAVE AN AFRO! My hair is just a little frizzy today.
Huey: Angela Davis’ hair was “a little frizzy” YOU have an afro.
Jazmine: I DO NOT!! And who is Angela Davis!?!?!
Huey: She’s a political activist. So Jazmine if you aren’t black what are you?
Jazmine: well let’s see… My momma is one quarter Irish, one quarter Swedish and
one half German. My Granma on my daddy’s side is part Cherokee and my grandfather is mostly French. I think because he’s originally from Louisiana, and his father was from Haiti, I believe which makes me…
Huey: Which make you as black as Richard Roundtree in “Shaft Africa”.
Jazmine: IT DOES NOT! And who is Richard Roundtree?
A man walks up to Jazmine and Huey. Jazmine runs up to him and hugs him. The
man looks down at Huey.
Act 1 scene 4
Man: Hey there, little man! I’m Jazmine’s Dad Thomas Dubois but you can call me
Tom. I bet we’ll be good friends.
Huey: Are you by chance selling Amway products?
Tom: No! I’m a lawyer. Do you know what that means?
Huey: What kind of 10 year old doesn’t know what a lawyer is? Do you treat your
daughter like this because if you do she not gonna have any friends especially
me. And to answer your question it means a good reason for me to be disappointed
that you’re not selling Amway products. You’ll have to excuse my low tolerance
of condescension.
Tom: you sure use big words
Huey: Are you surprised by that?
Tom: Kind of
Huey: I read the whole dictionary twice in one hour when I was 8. My brother is
8 and he can’t read the first letter category of the dictionary in less then and
hour and a half.
Tom: Okay... so little man what’s your name?
Huey: Huey Freeman.
Tom: That’s a great name. You know there was someone very famous that has the
same name as you?
Huey: Are you by chance referring to Huey P. Newton co-founder of the Black
Panther Party. I was named after him, and got my hair after him too.
Tom: Actually I was talking about Huey Lewis the famous pop star from the mid-
eighties. He was a part of Huey Lewis and the news. You know like Hip to be
square and Heart and Soul
Huey: Meh Before my time. Are they white?
Tom: Yes, why?
Huey: That explains it
Tom: Okay then by!
Huey starts walking back.
Tom: Jazmine? Hello Jazmine? Where are you? Oh no Oh no Oh no.
Act 2 scene 5
Cuts to Jazmine walking back home
Jazmine: I miss home. I’m never going to make any new friends here.
A white girl with long blonde hair runs up to Jazmine.
Girl: Hey!! Over there!! Hello! Are you new here?
Jazmine: uh…Yeah
Girl: Hi I’m Cindy. Would you like to be my BFF?
Jazmine: um…Yeah sure! I’m Jazmine. (Mumbles) Wow that was almost too easy
Cindy: What was that?
Jazmine: Oh nothing
Cindy: Hey Jazmine you didn’t hear it from me but, some blacks have moved into
the neighborhood. Have you seen any yet? Real Black people hear on timid deer
lane EEP! I’m so excited! I’ve never seen real live black people before! Have
you?
Jazmine: Um…Well…I’m
Cindy: So excited? Me too! OOOHH I hope one of them is a gangsta rapper or a
basketball player!! That would be sooo cool! Wait no…beasty. My dad always says
he’s afraid of decliving property valwoos, juhenel delwinksents and wet-ride
programs.
Huey walks up behind them
Huey: Don’t you mean declining property values. Juvenile delinquents and set-
aside programs
Cindy: O-my-god, O-my-god, O-my-god, O-my-god, O-my-god, it’s it’s it’s it’s… A
BLACK PERSON!!!!! Are you a rapper do you know p-diddy
Cindy runs up and hugs Huey
Cindy: Oh Jazmine we white folks have met a black person!
Jazmine; Um...Gee…Cindy I’ve been meaning to tell you this um…I’m black
Cindy: Yeah right. You’re just tan like Mariah Carrey and Drake. Wait…THEY’RE
HALF BLACK! So that must mean that…YOU’RE HALF BLACK TOO!!! My first black
friend!
Huey: WOW!
Jazmine: That’s actually the smartest thing she’s said yet.
Riley runs up.
Riley: Where you been Huey? And why is you hanging out with this white chick.
Jazmine: HEY! I’m white TOO!
Huey: (whispering to Riley) She’s suffering from afro denial
Riley: (whispering to Huey) yeah lost a lot of homies dat way.
Riley: Well hope you find a cure Huey. I saw a corner store across the street,
I’m seeing if they got spray paint.
Jazmine: find a cure for what?
Cindy: Yeah what is it for Ebola, Polio, Lupus Erythematous, influenza,
Creutzfeldt - Jakob disease, Diabetes, HIV/AIDS, Asthma, Cancer, The common cold
or other?
Huey: None of them it’s Afro-Denial. And little miss “no afro” over here has a
bad case of it.
Cindy: *GASP* does she need to go to the hospital? I’ll go call 911. Ooh 911 has
the same numbers in it has the date 9/11. Ironic cause there was a lot of 911
callings on 9/11.
Huey: *sigh* No. she doesn’t need to go to the hospital, she just need to have a
visit from the Huey Freeman
Jazmine: I DO NOT HAVE A DISESASE!!! What is
Afro Denial?
Huey: This is gonna take a while. It’s a psycho logical affliction wherein
patients exhibit self-delusional behavior. Believing they have straight-flowing,
European supermodel-type hair- thereby refusing to accept the coarness thickness
and/or nappiness of their actual hair.
Jazmine: Well you know what disease I have? A disease which make you think you
and your little book of diseases are STUPID!!
Huey: … Sound like Ethno-Ambiguo hostility syndrome.
Cuts to Riley walking in to corner store Starts playing “Look At Me now”. He
gasps. Camera goes into focus of a store called thuggish Heaven owned by
Thugnificent and the Lethal Interjection Crew. There’s spray paint in the first
aisle. He gets ten bottles. He then runs over to the music section. He gets a 50
cent, Lil Wayne, P-diddy, Waka Flaka, and Thugnificent and the Lethal
Interjection Crew presents “U vrsis Me” CD’s. Riley walks up to clerk.
Riley: Yeah homie. I wanna buy dese heya CD’s knawmean.
Clerk: Yeah brotha, you got some good choices.
A man with comes up
Man: Yo! Macktastic why ain’t you in heya recording John remix with us. (Looks
at Riley) Well, Well, Well who we got heya, A little Negro. So what you want
little main.
Riley: You’re, you’re Thugnificent who owns this store, and this CD.
Thugnificent: Yeah I am Little Brotha. Why you got those spray-paint cans? Are
you on Yo first graffiti job?
Riley: No. Dis ain’t my first. I think it’s my…4th? No…6th it’s my 6th. I got
dese because I’m changing my streets name.
Thugnificent: What’s da name of it?
Riley: Timid Deer Lane
Thugnificent/Macktastic: HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!
Riley: Shut-up fools. (Pulls out BB gun) Now, what was you Negros saying.
Macktastic: Ok, main chill, chill. Dat would be $25 Pillsbury’s.
Riley: Pillsbury’s?
Macktastic: You know how dough can mean money?
Riley: Who doesn’t?
Macktastic: Well Pillsbury is dough
Riley: and?
Macktastic: Pillsbury means dough which means…?
Riley: Money….OH.
Riley: Here’s my…Pillsbury
Macktastic: Dats was-up
After giving Macktastic the money Riley runs off rapidly. Macktastic Checks the
money
Macktastic: Yo dis is only 6 frickin Pillsbury’s. Shoot.
Thugnificent: I like dat lil Negro.
Act 1 scene 7
Cuts to Riley opening the door to the house still is completely empty. You hear
music in the background. Riley goes to try and find the music. The song changes
to Clarence Carters “Strokin”.
Granddad: WOO-WEE this my song right here. (Singing) When I start making love I
just don’t make love… I be Strokin. That’s what I be doing, huh. I be stroking.
I’m Strokin to the East. I’m stroking to the west. I’m stroking to the woman
that I love best. I be stroking.
Riley: GRANDDAD!!
Riley turns around the corner and you see him doing the stroking dance in only
his underpants.
Riley: Aw! Heck naw, heck naw. Granddad put some clothes on. You looking like a
fool with Yo pants on the ground.
Granddad: Look who’s talking
Riley: Ok! Is he sexy? You know he is. Where’s Huey?
Granddad: In his room. (walks away while singing) let me ask you this. What time
of the day do you like to make love?
Riley runs up stairs to Huey and his room.
Riley: HUEY! HUEY?! (opens door)
Huey: What?
Riley: Can I use the ladder out back?
Huey: Wait a minute. Are you gonna do something to our house?
Riley: No
Huey: Someone else’s house?
Riley: No!
Huey: The School
Riley: They have a school?
Huey: Ok then.
Riley: (mumbling) Now where did I put my spray cans?
Huey: What are you doing?
Riley: you promise you WON’T tell Granddad
Huey: Yes
Riley : I’m changing our street name.
Huey: YOU’RE WHAT!
Riley: What? I’m not livin’ on naw timid deer lane, son. Why shoudn’t I change
that crappy name?
Huey: Because it’s defacing public property.
Riley:…?
Huey: *sigh* it means vandalism.
Riley:…?
Huey: Graffiti
Riley: I know that.
Huey: You’ll get locked up retard.
Riley: Well I got away with it the first 5 times (holds up 4 fingers.)
Huey: You’ve done it 5 TIMES?
Riley: Yeah. You got a problem wit-it. And what about my right to live on a
street with a beasty name of my own choosing, huh?
Huey: Which amendment would that be?
Riley: Um… The second
Huey: No. That’s your right to have guns. (slaps head) Why did I just say that.
Riley: I have a right to have guns? So I haven’t been breaking the law since I
was 5.
Huey: Negro you don’t have any guns…Do you?
Riley: Naw player I was just kidding.
Huey: So if you’re changing our street name, what’s it gone be called?
Riley: Man, how should I know. All I know is any street that I live on has to
say thug and real and dangerous and it has to say you don’t want no parts of
nothing hear and it has to say ain’t nothing sweet around R Escoe’s town.
Huey: Who is R Escoe?
Riley: Me playa. Riley Escoe
Huey: Whateva. Hey! I got it. What about George W. Bush Avenue?
Riley: you’re nerd jerks don’t mean crap to me. I’m gonna keep it real.
Cuts to street sign that says “Notorious B.I.G Ave.”
Huey: Yeah now I’m a resident of Biggee Smalls AVE.
Well that's it. Give me feed back. ):