This list was a difficult one. There were quite a few bad CBM's over the last 10 years, and quite a few flawed, but not really worthy of being called failures. So I struggled with my choices a bit. Basically it came down to whether the movie entertained me more than it made me cringe or want to throw something at the screen. If it didn't, its below..
5)Ghost Rider
I didn't hate Ghost Rider..but I disliked it enough to put it at the bottom of the worst list. Its one of those movies that could have been decent. Many people ridicule Nicholas Cage's performance, I actually thought he was okay as Johnny Blaze, at least in the early goings. And Ghost Rider himself is great to behold. The scenes of him tearing up buildings on his fiery bike and delivering his penance stare are by far the highlights. But it pretty much stops their. Mark Stephen Johnson, who showed that he had what it takes to deliver a good comic adap with Daredevil, just doesn't seem to have a clue how to handle the material. This should only be either dark as night horror/drama or pulpy action thriller..a mix of both, with comedic elements for good measure, was never going to work. Add to that some down right embarrassing turns from Eva Mendes as the love interest and Wes Bently as Blackheart, the "villain"(about as intimidating as a teenage emo with fake fangs) and you have a recipe for instantly forgettable. Lets hope the sequel/reboot amps up the horror and delivers.
4)
Fantastic Four
Another one thats not a total waste of time..just almost! Chris Evans and Michael Chiklis as Johnny Storm and The Thing do their best to save this, but even their good work is tainted by the rest of the absolutely abysmal performances around them. Ioan Gruffudd is dull as dishwater as Reed Richards, and fails to convince that he has a brain at all, much less a genius level intellect. Jessica Alba is dire as Sue Storm. Her delivery of the line "No, lets" towards the end had me getting up to leave the cinema. And worst of all, one of Marvels most iconic and powerful villains is reduced to campy misery in Julian McMahon's slimy Dr Doom. Aside from that, it just doesn't work. No FF movie should ever be "dark", but does it have to be so silly at the same time? Its sequel with the appearance of the Silver Surfer is an improvement..but only because of that.
3)
Punisher: Warzone
Okay, I know this one has its share of fans. For some reason, people seem to believe that this load of shit is true to Garth Ennis's run of the Marvel Max Punisher series. Which is true, if you only look at the pictures while reading comics. The truth is, while Lexi Alexander's movie looks just like a Punisher movie should, has enough exploding heads for any Punisher fan, and casts a Frank Castle that looks just like his comic counterpart, thats where it ends. Now if thats enough for you, fine, but I honestly have no idea why you bother to watch movies. Ray Stephenson mumbles his way through a passable performance, but everyone else, especially Dominic West as a Dick Tracy style Jigsaw, suck beyond words. The "story" is: The Punisher kills people in very violent ways... thats pretty much all you need to know. Any insight into the nature of vigilantism and the power of redemption that Ennis brought to his run on the comics is summed up in one line. "Who punishes The Punisher". Truly, a load of bollocks.
2)
Elektra
Technically, I would say that this is a slightly better movie all round that Warzone, but, at least Warzone does have the exploding heads as a distraction, Elektra has..well, Jennifer Garner looking pretty hot, but its not near enough. A great character born in the pages of Daredevil, and played on screen once to much better effect by Garner in a movie of the same, Elektra went on to feature in one of the best stories I remember reading, Frank Miller's Elektra: Assassin, as well as countless other solo and team up adventures. The makers of this movie thought it would be better to come up with a silly, cliched story about Elektra taking a young girl and her useless father under her wing. The comic villains, The Hand, do pop up and contribute to the more enjoyable parts of the movie. And Garner does try her best with what she has to work with, but a character as awesome as this simply deserves better...much better. By the end, if your still awake, you honestly won't give shit about any element of this movie anyway.
1) X Men Orig.....ah, sorry Lee, not a hope:)
Catwoman
Of course it is. This decades Batman And Robin. Its almost not even worthy of calling itself a CBM since this version of Catwoman, Patience Philips, has nothing to do with the Batman enemy, Selina Kyle. And thank God for small favors, because at least maybe we can still see that character make another appearance(Michelle Phiepher already played her) in a future movie. This is almost so bad its good..almost. The plot and acting are so ridiculous that at times you could think it was being played for laughs. Halle Berry plays the titular heroine, and of course, looks damn fine doing it..but thats all she does well. Sharon Stone plays the villain, maker of a killer skin cream that eventually turns her skin hard as stone. Read enough yet? The worst thing about this is that the movie could have been great. They could have hired a team that gave a shit and given us a proper solo outing for one of comics most iconic female characters. Instead we get kitty litter. Meow.
So thats the list. I'm sure there are some you expected to see(I just know Spider Man 3 is gonna be yelled at me in the comments section!), if so, lets hear about em.