Hello,
Jennifer Lawrence.....Well...This article is 3 years late. JLaw didn't get a lot of flack when she was cast from obscurity to become the X Men's resident bimbo, Mystique.
We are now at this point where she is more acclaimed than Rebecca Romjin could dream of and John Stamos could hope for. Yet I still don't hear a lot of rumbling about "Tapping That Fat Ass Of Hers." Shame on you CBM for having terrible taste.
Shall we begin?
Like with everything, we should make her hair as vibrant, as lustrous as possible. Let's shave a herd of Oranguntans, piece all the hair together and give our sexy bodacious gal Jen Law the most orange, most primal, authentic hair wig you could give a sexy broad.
THIS
Her face has gotten more attractive over the years. She lost the baby fat she had, and her chin is highlighted less. So I don't recommend Mike Tyson on this one.
MINUS THIS
Instead
Let's bundle up the task and just hire a Nuru Masseuse to physically relax her body. You know sea weed oil is really good for your skin. Also the orgasm you get from Nuru is out of this world!
PLUS OBVIOUSLY THIS
As many knows by now, Mystique is blue. Her hue is definitely, "blue," legit, not tampered with any color "blue." In order to achieve a very blue looking Mystique. To achieve this look we give her Colloidal Silver. It is illegal to consume silver according to FDA.
PLUS THIS GUY
Authentic to say the least.
With her clothing, she should be naked. No one should stop her from parading those nice cans of her. Maybe one day Andy Warhol will rise up from his sleep and paint her cans. NAHMEAN, NAHMEAN. Warhol will called it the "The Lawrence."
PLUS CANS
To make this Mystique as fanboy friendly as possible. Her personality has to be a mix of dominatrix; dominating Teabag, and a nurse, attending to Gusto.
Fanboys love it when a female dominates them on-line, off-line. Then they go cry about it and tell their friends that it's the best thing ever.
EQUALS THIS:
HOT RIGHT? Well use your imagination and pretend that the picture above is blue. And Fvck the Waifish figures, let bums have them.
Cornball Brother Exiting Again. Until Next Time.