So to be clear, I’m a huge turtle fan – that’s a big fan of the turtles, not a fan of the big ones. I just saw the film, processed it and decided to sign up and pen my own thoughts here.
I did like a few aspects of the film itself. The action was good, I appreciated the characterization of the turtles themselves and the new take on Splinter as a very capable Master was something that needed to happen in the cinema. The rat’s abusive, tail-strangling tendencies could have been left out. The rest of it though, was a two dimensional mess that failed to deliver.
However this poorly assembled, money making bandwagon is not the true disaster. This film has earned a lot of money so far and will undoubtedly produce sequels. Clues left behind in the new release warn us as to why a new series of TMNT films should scare any fan of our beloved reptiles…
1. Bigger is better
The Turtles –
The look is fine, the consequences of the look though fundamentally ruins the idea of the turtles. You cannot be ninjas if you are four 6 foot behemoths running around in broad daylight. This is especially true when you just happened to draw the entire population of Manhattan’s attention (all of whom have smartphones and the internet) by destroying a building. Well done writers, you forgot the whole idea behind one of three adjectives used in the title of your film and ruined all chances of stealth to be used in the next film.
The Shredder –
Shredder’s fight scenes in this film were great. The action was undoubtedly cool and different. The comic book audience though is a little sick of seeing their villains cheaply made more intimidating by placing them in robot suits. There is no real drive to this guy other than he wants to destroy a city and wear a cool suit. I have never been more disinterested in Oroku Saki or the Foot. New villains will have to be introduced in the next installment and if you can’t get Shredder right, or his organization, how can you hope to get a utrom invasion/Bepop and Rocksteady/leatherhead storyline across to an audience?
The Story -
Ugh, just see #4.
2. Humor
A common complaint in CBMs. I’m a fan of a lot of humour as I think it helps to further set the CB genre apart and gives a much needed mix of serious and fun if done properly. The punch lines in this film feel forced, like the writers obsessively went through the script to add in as many jokes as possible. I think this argument can be made for many films in general, but there is not one emotional moment in TMNT that isn’t undermined by a silly joke that did not need to be there. This taints the future sequel as creators will want to keep the silly jokes to lighten up the tone, keep a general audience somewhat engaged and easily fill in gaps in a script where maybe some story/character development could happen…but nah.
3. Lack of originality
This script was 20% rip off of previous incarnations and 80% rubbish. Normally CBMs have nods to source material, but this one took the laziest route possible. Scenes were copied directly from previous films and felt like more of a slap in the face than an acknowledgment of the fact you are standing on the shoulders of creators before you. Any original aspects of this film made zero sense (April, her dad and Erich Sachs – come on) and we only have more of those to come, oh joy.
4. Whacky ideas
The film has evidently been reworked too many times. We all heard the original story rumours and it seems the creative team haphazardly reacted when they received negative attention. The lack of aliens and William Fichtner are evidence of this. ‘Erich Sachs’ is too much of a coincidence to just be a character’s name. He must have been the Shredder as an updated, new Oroku Saki because there really was no need for them to be separate people. The public outcry for a true-to-source, Japanese Shredder pushed writers to make those changes last minute, hence two separate characters. Now with one successful film out and the potential for a franchise creators may go back to their original ideas and create who knows what. Our beloved heroes have already been taken out of the city on an adventure, destroyed a building and fought gun wielding ‘ninjas’ along with a sillier ‘Super Shredder.’ Following the bigger is better rule for sequels, the story can only get worse.
5. Poor actors
I was open to Knoxville. Then he ruined my favourite turtle and actually made the ‘boring turtle,’ well, boring.
I was also disappointed in Fichtner – “We will drain all of their blood, even if it kills them.” Why did he read that line and think, ‘cool!” Draining all of an animal’s blood WILL kill them, idiot.
I gave Megan Fox a try, I really did. She can’t act. There was no April O’Neil persona in the film, it was just Megan Fox with redder hair. Well, until her and Bay fall out again, we’re stuck with her.
There is so much more, but those are my biggest concerns. Let me know what you think, go easy as it’s my first post!