Other Schwarzenegger Sequels
By
Brian VanHooker
Turtle with Lemonade Productions
www.turtlewithlemonade.com
Junior 2: Junior jr.
After completing "Triplets" and then "Quadruplets" where Jackie Chan becomes the newest sibling, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito will team up yet again to make a sequel to their other hit comedy "Junior." In "Junior 2: Junior jr." the stakes will be raised much higher when both Schwarzenegger and DeVito impregnate themselves in order to test a new fertility treatment. This time, DeVito is pregnant with a girl, and Schwarzenegger is carrying a baby rhinoceros. At first, they are able to keep the whole thing under wraps, but when they begin lactating their secret is discovered and they end up on the run from the U.S. Army for testing a drug before FDA approval. While on the road, the two learn the joys of friendship, the pains of motherhood, and the difficulties of being fugitives.
Conan the Geriatric
With the limited success of the “Conan the Barbarian” reboot, for the next Conan film, Lionsgate decided to bring back the element made the original films so successful: Arnold Schwarzenegger. Arnold will once again put on the loin cloth and, with the help of CGI, will look as threatening as ever in the role of Conan. The geniuses at Industrial Light and Magic will replace Arnold’s saggy man-boobs with rippling biceps and will speed up most of the action scenes so it will not appear as if it’s taking too long for Conan to decapitate someone. In this non-stop action ride, Conan will do battle all across the land of Hyboria in search of the magic crystal that will restore his youth (and career).
Kindergarten Cop 2: It IS A Tumor
More than 20 years after the events of the first film, John Kimble is now a retired cop who is shocked when he goes for a routine screening and discovers he has terminal cancer. While taking stock of his life, Kimble feels that his list of accomplishments comes up short. He never climbed a mountain, or became an inept governor, and he never saw Europe. During this soul-searching, he decides that the happiest time in his life was when he was a kindergarten teacher at Astoria Elementary School. Kimble decides to organize a class reunion, and on the night of the gathering, Kimble is disappointed to find out that his students have all become low-lifes and degenerates. Dominic, the little blonde kid, has taken after his father and become a drug dealer, Emma, the girl who kept saying she was a princess, became a stripper named Princess, Joseph, the kid who talked about penises and vaginas, has become a sex addict, and, sadly, the classroom ferret died several years ago of natural causes. Now, in his final months on earth, Kimble works to inspire these kids as he did so many years ago.
Fun Times with Mr. Freeze
In this spin-off of the Batman franchise, Arnold Schwarzenegger's Mr. Freeze is released from Arkham Asylum and decides he's going to live an honest life and pursue his dreams of becoming a game show host. After breaking the ice with TV executives, Freeze gets a network deal for "Who Wants To Be A Popsicle?" which is a quiz show where contestants stand on a frozen lake, and if they answer questions wrong, Mr. Freeze comes over to them with a blow dryer and melts the ice around their feet. The show ends when all but one of the contestants gets hypothermia. Mr. Freeze's new show ends up being a big success and his catchphrase "Your standing on thin ice... LITERALLY!" ends up being the coolest thing since "Show me the money!" The only problem is that Batman (George Clooney), who has recently retired, believes that Mr. Freeze would only stop being a criminal when hell freezes over, and does whatever he can to get the show cancelled. The rivalry builds up until the climax of the film, where Freeze and Batman agree to a quiz show challenge on live television. Who will win, The Dark Knight or Gotham's coolest villain? Find out in this chilling summer blockbuster!
Jingle All The Way 2: The Return of Turbo-Man
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sinbad, Jake Lloyd (Anakin Skywalker from Star Wars: Episode I) and Tom Hanks’ wife all reprise their roles in this sequel to the 1996 Christmas classic. The movie begins with Myron Larabee (Sinbad) getting laid off at the post office and turning to his only friend in the world, Howard Langston (Schwarzenegger) to ask if he can sleep on his couch (just like the real Sinbad had to do!). Howard agrees to help his friend, but tensions wear thin with Sinbad as his houseguest and the two quickly end up at each other’s throats. Like in the first film, Schwarzenegger must put on the costume of the superhero Turbo-Man, but this time it’s to do battle with his son, who has since become Darth Vader.
The Pacifier 2: Bottle Royale
In this upcoming comedy, Schwarzenegger makes a sequel to the 2005 film "The Pacifier" starring Vin Diesel, which should have been a Schwarzenegger film to begin with. Everyone knows that "The Pacifier" was a movie meant for Arnold and that he would have been first pick to star had be not been governor of California at the time. The story of a secret agent (Arnold has been a secret agent in over a third of his films) who is put on babysitting duty for five rambunctious children could only be the plot for a Schwarzenegger film. In this sequel, Arnold takes over the Vin Diesel role of Agent Wolf, who is now, inexplicably a senior citizen with an Austrian accent. Agent Wolf gets put on assignment to manage a daycare center where it is known that one of the babies has swallowed top-secret defense department secrets. You'll love Arnold's comedy hijinks as he tries to determine which baby has the files. And you’ll laugh when this tough guy learns to play with dolls and have a tea party. "The Pacifier 2: Bottle Royale" is guaranteed fun for the whole family!
Terminator 5: Fall of the Governator
The latest installment of the Terminator franchise will have Arnold Schwarzenegger as writer, director and playing multiple roles. The movie begins with Arnold playing himself in 2012, he's a man who's personal life is a wreck, is hated politically by both parties and who's struggling to work his way back into movies. Arnold then builds a terminator (also played by Schwarzenegger) and sends him back in time to 2003 to stop Arnold Schwarzenegger from running for governor. The T-801 is an unstoppable machine who will do whatever it takes to stop 2003 Arnold from becoming governor. While he’s back in 2003, the Terminator has several secondary missions as well: to destroy all reels of “Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines” before they hit theaters, kill screenwriter John D. Brancato before he pens the first draft of “Terminator Salvation” and tell 2003 Arnold Schwarzenegger to stop looking at his housekeeper like that. In a return to his action film roots, Arnold Schwarzenegger is challenged by the only man who could ever be a worthy opponent, Arnold Schwarzenegger.