Super Mario Bros. (Remake): Plot and Cast

This will probably lean more towards being an outrageous comedy. However, the other characters apart from Mario will be taken more seriously, leaving the film half-comedy/half-adventure. On to the plot… In a world not far from ours (yes, I’m taking the source material seriously instead of basing the film on two parallel Earths), there is a place called the Mushroom Kingdom, a place of wonderful creatures (that sounds corny, but I’m bringing you in as best I can). In this world there lives a beautiful princess, named Peach Toadstool. Also in this world is a horrific being of both half-turtle/half-dragon, named Bowser (true to the character or not, that’s what he looks like). Bowser wants to reign over the land and enforce his evil will on all others. Therefore, he kidnaps the princess as means of ransoming the king’s thrown for her safety. This all sounds corny, but I’m just laying out the basic plot. Word spreads fast through the kingdom of Peach’s kidnapping. All of the greatest warriors are summoned to the king to find his daughter. Elsewhere, on the far edge of the capital city, there live two brothers, both plumbers, named Mario and Luigi. Luigi is a level-headed pessimist that avoids danger at all costs. Mario is the polar opposite and has great ambitions beyond his life as a plumber. So, when Mario is one day working on the king’s plumbing he overhears the conference in the thrown room about the princess’s being kidnapped. As Mario listens in, all of the summoned warriors refuse to face Bowser. Mario, bursting into the room, accepts the king’s quest and, after dissuading some laughter from the warriors, Mario returns home to fetch his brother. Luigi has no intentions of joining his impulsive brother’s quest for death, but is nonetheless dragged along for not wanting Mario’s death on his conscience. So, the two brothers set out for Bowser’s castle on the far side of the Mushroom Kingdom. Along the way, the brothers free Princess Peach’s riding lizard Yoshi, who had been missing for several months, from a gang of thieving circus performers. With Yoshi now accompanying them, the two brothers trek their way along towards Bowser’s castle. Bowser has caught wind of the plans to recover the princess and, though he has little fear of what’s coming, he sends out his forces one-by-one to stop the two brothers. Defeating the first lonely koopa that attacks them (mostly by Luigi’s doing), Mario begins to interrogate the little monster asking him “where is the castle?” The koopa points the brothers in the direction of a nearby castle. The brothers, hashing a well-devised plan (again, mostly by Luigi), stealthily enter the castle to free the princess. Unfortunate as they are, the brothers find that the princess is being held elsewhere, which was told to them by another prisoner Toad, the princess’s personal assistant (this will draw actual influence from the game, mocking the continuous plight against the player in entering the wrong castle). After having learned that the plumbers have actually managed to free Toad, Bowser increases his offensive. Meeting a large squadron of koopas head-on, the brothers fight as best they can. After a long, dreary fight, the brothers are taken prisoner and taken back to Bowser’s castle. All the while, Princess Peach has been trying in vain to free herself from her prison. However, being locked alone in the highest tower of the castle, there is no one to help her. In the low dungeon under Bowser’s castle, Mario admits to himself that he could never have accomplished what he set out to do. Luigi, of course, goes into a fit of rage, accusing Mario of putting their lives in danger and damning him for ever putting them in such a mess. Bowser, mocking his captives, offers them a last feast before he kills them. At this, Toad asks to be given a special plant for his last feast. When this is given to him, Toad asks Mario to hide the plant in his overalls and, when they are before Bowser to be put to death, for him to quickly eat the plant. Mario, looking over the plant, is skeptical at first, but agrees. When Mario, Luigi, Toad, and Yoshi are brought before Bowser, Mario sticks to the plan and, shoving the plant into his mouth, grows disgusted by the bad taste. Spitting the plant back out, Toad demands Mario eat it at once. Bowser watches in confusion for a moment as Mario and Luigi pass the plant off on each other, each trying to get the other to eat it. Eventually, Luigi tricks Mario into opening his mouth and he shoves in the plant. Mario quickly swallows the plant to get it out of his mouth. A moment later, Mario starts to glow and his hands start to get hot. With only a second of realization, Mario breaks his chains and starts owning every koopa in the room with bad-ass fireballs. After Mario finishes off the koopas, he starts to gloat and tease Bowser. Toad slaps his own forehead as the plant’s power wears off. Mario, now left powerless, must face Bowser. While the angry Bowser chases Mario around the castle, Luigi and the others run to the highest tower to free Princess Peach. Eventually, Mario and Bowser work their way out onto the bridge, which hovers over a moat of boiling lava. Mario, noticing the switch behind Bowser that lowers the bridge, begins gloating again as he circles around Bowser. In a rage, Bowser charges Mario just as he throws the switch. The bridge drops, and both fall out of view. Having watched the whole incident unfold, Luigi believes his brother dead. However, after Mario makes a fearful scream, Luigi finds his brother dangling from the edge of the cliff. The five heroes return to the capital and there is much rejoicing. Hopefully this adaptation would be better accepted than the previous film. I would hope that since my plot is a hundred times more accurate than the 1990s flick that this would be a better film altogether and actually manage to be a good video game movie.

The Cast:

Mario- Jack Black