First off, why the hell hasn't a good Punisher movie been made yet?
I mean, you'd think after three tries (THREE F***ING TRIES!) those dumbasses down at Hollywood would have figured out how to make a good Punisher movie.
The 1989 movie? Terrible.
The 2004 movie? Better, but still bad.
The 2008 movie? Ray Stevenson was perfect, and it got his origin right, but everything else was $hit.
This is how I, were I a filmmaker (which I sort of am), I would approach a Punisher movie.
Title: Either Punisher MAX or Punisher: New Beginning (it’s based off the first Punisher MAX storyline, In the Beginning). I'm leaning towards Punisher MAX.
Rating: Rated R for Language, Violence and Gore Throughout, Nudity, Drug and Alcohol use, and Brief Sequences of Rape
Cast:
PUNISHER- RAY STEVENSON
Because, like I said, Ray was perfect. Whoever cast him as Volstagg is an idiot. RAY IS THE PUNISHER!
MIKE ELROY (See plot below) - Will Smith
When I made the character of Mike Elroy, the one person I had in mind to play him was Will Smith. No one else could really pull off the part, at least in my mind.
NICK CAVELLA- LIAM NEESON
In this movie, instead of just banishing him to Boston in the In the Beginning storyline, Cavella and his boys were banished to Ireland, and with Liam Neeson being of Irish descent, I think he would be a great Nick Cavella (changed from Nicky to Nick because Nicky sounded stupid to me. I'm allowed to have an opinion, damn it.)
KATHRYN O'BRYAN- MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ
She's hotter than hell and knows how to kick ass. How can you go wrong?
WILLIAM ROTH- NEIL PATRICK HARRIS
He looks like him, and besides, wouldn't we all enjoy seeing him have his balls cut off and put in a paper cup? I would.
BETHELL- LINUS ROACHE
He's the guy who played Bruce's father in Batman Begins. I really didn't give too much of a damn about this one.
PITTS- MARK BOONE JUNIOR
He is best known for his role as Flass in Batman Begins. Unlike the fat bald guy who played "Pittsy" in Warzone, Pitts (name changed to avoid any connection to said Warzone) would be the hardcore, foulmouthed bastard from the In the Beginning storyline.
LARRY- Oh I don’t know.
Probably just some guy off the street would be fine. He wouldn’t have that big of a problem.
Plot: The Punisher (Stevenson), who has now been at it for 13 years, enacts a massacre at the birthday party of an aging crime boss, Massimo Cesare. The only survivor, Larry Barrucci, who takes it upon itself to save the Italian Mafia from being replaced by another country as the dominant crime ring, calls Nick Cavella (Neeson) to kill the Punisher. Meanwhile, the C.I.A. hires an expert on the Punisher, Mike Elroy (Smith) who has spent 11 years studying everything about the Punisher, to try to convince Punisher to work as a black ops agent in the hunt for Bin Laden. After capturing Frank Castle, Elroy proposes this offer to Castle, who simply replies with a "[frick] you." Before Elroy can retaliate, the apartment in which Bethell (Roache), the CIA agent who is overseeing the negotiations, and his team (comprised of Garth Ennis, Tim Bradstreet, Tom Jane, Lexi Alexander, Jonathan Heinsleigh, and yes, Stan Lee, in cameo roles) is breached by Cavella, Larry, and Cavella's muscle, Pitts (Boone Junior). Cavella was made aware of their location through the torturing by castration of one of Bethell's agents, Roth (Harris). But before Cavella can kill Castle, who is in chains, Bethell's other agent, Kathryn O'Bryan (Rodriguez) stalls Cavella long enough for Castle to be freed by a wounded Elroy, who then proceeds to fight Pitts, ripping out one of his eyes. Cavella then shoots the Punisher in the shoulder, allowing the trio to escape, kidnapping Bethell. Castle then takes a wounded Elroy and O'Bryan with him to escape. While driving away, O'Bryan tells the Punisher about Cavella, who was a ruthless gangster in New York until he raped the head crime boss's daughter. Elroy then confesses Bethell's means of getting funds, through various cocaine dealerships and prostitution rings all across New York. Elroy then says the trio have to save Bethell, and the Punisher immediately agrees, shocking both Elroy and O'Bryan. Meanwhile, Cavella has Larry call in all the guns he can, as he suspects the C.I.A. will be all over him in retaliation for his attempted hit and run. Later that night, after O'Bryan calls in a helicopter equipped with duel sentry guns to take care of most of the mobsters around the Cesare mansion, in which Cavella, Pitts, and Larry inhabit. Afterwards, with O'Bryan remaining in the chopper to take care of any late mobsters who might show up, Punisher and Elroy, through the use of M-16s, Uzis, grenades, and a twelve gauge shot gun used by Elroy, eliminate the rest of Cavella's men. When they reach Bethell, without encountering Cavella, Castle then shoots Bethell in the head, stating that “it wasn’t a rescue mission”, justifying it as punishment for Bethell’s corrupt ways, much to the dismay of Elroy. They then notice that outside, O’Bryan’s helicopter has been shot down by a missile fired by Cavella, who is now making his escape. Punisher prepares to shoot him, but suddenly Pitts shoots Elroy in the back with a shotgun, killing him. After a long and brutal fight, Punisher kills Pitts by decapitating him with a butcher’s knife. Punisher then considers going after Cavella, but decides not too in favor of tending to a barely alive O’Bryan. Punisher takes O’Bryan to a hospital. After a few days, Punisher visits O’Bryan, who, despite having a broken leg and collar bone, tells him she’s fine. Castle asks O’Bryan where he would be able to find Cavella, to which she replies his “pussy ass” is probably retreating to Ireland (Sequel, anyone?). Punisher then thanks O’Bryan for her help than leaves, intent on finding and punishing Cavella.
So what do you guys think?
Tell me in the comments, please! I like reading comments!
Thanks!
P.S. Could someone tell me how to upload pictures in my articles? Thanks!
Until next time!