How To Fix The New FANTASTIC FOUR Movie

How To Fix The New FANTASTIC FOUR Movie

A lot of fans are upset at the direction FOX is taking the new Fantastic Four movie. I have the perfect solution by changing the director and actors. Hit the jump and check out these scintillating upgrades!

Editorial Opinion
By EdmondDantes - Nov 10, 2014 09:11 PM EST
Filed Under: Fantastic Four

Many comic book fans are infuriated every week as more interviews from the cast of Akira 2: Attack of the Doom Blogger are revealed. The latest news that Doctor Doom will be an anti-social programmer has flipped comic book fans around the world on their heads and has them pleading with the comic gods for relief from the scourge that is upon them.
 
First, I want to say that Josh Trank is not a bad director; I just don’t believe he is the right director for this movie. His work on Akira was actually pretty good and I enjoyed the movie for what it tried to be. But his latest outing, Chronicle 2: Containment Suits, will more than likely be his ultimate downfall. He just doesn’t have the stylistic qualities needed for Marvel’s First Family. If he is given a Star Wars property down the road, I would actually be okay with that because Disney makes sure you stick to the source material for the most part.
 
In this article I will completely recast the director and crucial roles that will make this movie a complete success and make fanboys happy across the world.
 
Director: Uwe Boll


 
Now this will be a huge step up from director Josh Trank, and if not a huge step up at least I can guarantee Uwe Boll will be more faithful to the source material. His faithful adaption to video games like House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark, Postal and all three BloodRaynes would make Boll an outstanding fit for the start of FOX’s new franchise. I mean this is the director who made Burt Reynolds a convincing king in In the Name of the King, another fantastic video game to movie masterpiece. I would be very excited to see what he can pull off with the kind of money FOX will invest in Boll KG, because the shootout scenes he would add to the Fantastic Four would be absolutely exhilarating.
 
Reed Richards: Brad Garrett


 
I know a lot of criticism has been given to FOX for going with a young inexperienced version of Mr. Fantastic. I completely agree with that sentiment and I have the perfect solution, Brad Garrett. You may remember him already playing a super genius in successful shows such as, Everybody Loves Raymond or the even more successful, How to Live with Your Parents (for the Rest of Your Life). He has a certain intellectual prowess that you must have playing Reed Richards and his stoic look will make a believer of fans everywhere. Since FOX is set on going with a gritty interpretation of FF, look no further to Garrett’s role as The Giant in Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil and you will understand what I mean.
 
Sue Storm: Rebel Wilson


 
This would be a huge win not only for the role of Sue Storm but for women everywhere. Who needs a skinny mini Invisible Woman when you can have a beautiful curvaceous actress like Rebel Wilson in the titular role? She has garnered a lot of eyes from her outstanding performances in Pitch Perfect and Bridesmaids, both of which I squealed with delight after I watched them. I also remember watching an episode of the long running series, Super Fun Night, and saying to myself, yes, that is Sue Storm.
 
Johnny Storm: Kevin Hart


 
I am all for FOX’s daring move to change the ethnicity of the Human Torch to African American, but when I saw it would be Michael B. Jordan I cringed inside. This role needs somebody with a better physical presence in front of the camera and better comedic timing. Kevin Hart would give you both emphatically. I just think back to movies like, Think Like a Man, Think Like a Man Too, Ride Along and his most important movie to date, Epic Movie, and it makes my decision epically clear (pun intended). And once again since FOX wants to go the gritty route, who better to enlist than someone who lives his life gritty everyday in front of the camera in his own reality show, The Real Husbands of Hollywood.
 
Ben Grimm: Steve Buscemi


 
This may actually be the perfect fit for a role I have seen in a long time. Not only is he the perfect actor to voice, The Thing, but FOX could save on the CGI effects and use practical effects because of the physical prowess of Steve Buscemi. We all know Buscemi’s gritty role as Nucky Thompson in HBO’s Boardwalk Empire but I look to roles in movies like Billy Madison, The Wedding Singer, Big Daddy and Mr. Deeds that give me the confidence that he can play The Thing with no problems.
 
Doctor Doom: Verne Troyer


 
You know when I said that Steve Buscemi was the perfect fit for a role for anything I had seen in a long time? Scratch that. THIS is the perfect role for anything I have seen in a long time. FOX seemed set on giving Michael B. Jordan the role of Johnny Storm because he had worked on Akira with Josh Trank and they have a great working relationship. Then why not do the same here with Verne Troyer and Uwe Boll? Troyer killed it playing himself in the box office smash, Postal (which Boll directed), and his evil turn as Mini-Me in the Austin Powers franchise just screams Victor Von Doom. Besides, FOX could again save money as they wouldn’t have to adjust the Doctor Doom suit they currently have in place, it seems big enough to accommodate Verne Troyer’s massive frame just fine.

 
In closing, I hope FOX will take a close look at what they have decided and then consider what I have suggested. I want Marvel’s First Family to succeed…don’t you?
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scruffylookingnerfherder
scruffylookingnerfherder - 11/10/2014, 9:33 PM
I was about to stop reading after Uwe Boll, but Steve Buscemi gives me a bit of hope.
gamecreatorjj
gamecreatorjj - 11/10/2014, 9:46 PM
*inserts joke about this being better than the actual film*
pesmerga44
pesmerga44 - 11/10/2014, 10:09 PM
How to fix the upcoming Fantastic Four movie burn it with fire. Everything from the sets, the costumes, the film, everything involved with this movie should be purged to clear away all of the corruption that is Trank's Fantastic Four movie.

TheManFromMars
TheManFromMars - 11/11/2014, 7:09 AM
Oh, Brad Garrett, so that's his name!
havoc9987
havoc9987 - 11/11/2014, 11:52 AM
This cast makes me as interested in the movie as the actual cast does. Fox four vs evil doom blogger man
marvel72
marvel72 - 11/11/2014, 7:29 PM
How To Fix The New FANTASTIC FOUR Movie = MARVEL STUDIOS!
MisterFixit
MisterFixit - 11/12/2014, 12:13 AM
how to fix? abort
01928401
01928401 - 11/12/2014, 11:13 AM
How do we fix a movie we haven't seen? Hit the jump to find out.
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