Conan The Barbarian Screenwriter Addresses What It's Like Seeing The Film "Flop"!

Conan The Barbarian Screenwriter Addresses What It's Like Seeing The Film "Flop"!

Screenwriter Sean Hood gives a lengthy and brutally honest account of what it was like to contribute to the Conan the Barbarian script, only for it to fail at the box office and be attacked by critics...

By JoshWilding - Aug 24, 2011 06:08 AM EST
Filed Under: Conan
Source: Quora

Here is a statement released by screenwriter Sean Hood via Quora, offering up a unique insight into something we don't often see with people involved with movies like Conan the Barbarian...his thoughts on what it was like to see the movie "flop". It makes for a very interesting read, so be sure to check it out and share your thoughts in the usual place.

When you work "above the line" on a movie (writer, director, actor, producer, etc.) watching it flop at the box office is devastating. I had such an experience during the opening weekend of Conan the Barbarian 3D.

A movie's opening day is analogous to a political election night. Although I've never worked in politics, I remember having similar feelings of disappointment and disillusionment when my candidate lost a presidential bid, so I imagine that working as a speechwriter or a fundraiser for the losing campaign would feel about the same as working on an unsuccessful film.

One joins a movie production, the same way one might join a campaign, years before the actual release/election, and in the beginning one is filled with hope, enthusiasm and belief. I joined the Conan team, having loved the character in comic books and the stories of Robert E. Howard, filled with the same kind of raw energy and drive that one needs in politics.

Any film production, like a long grueling campaign over months and years, is filled with crisis, compromise, exhaustion, conflict, elation, and blind faith that if one just works harder, the results will turn out all right in the end. During that process whatever anger, frustration, or disagreement you have with the candidate/film you keep to yourself. Privately you may oppose various decisions, strategies, or compromises; you may learn things about the candidate that cloud your resolve and shake your confidence, but you soldier on, committed to the end. You rationalize it along the way by imagining that the struggle will be worth it when the candidate wins.

A few months before release, "tracking numbers" play the role in movies that polls play in politics. It's easy to get caught up in this excitement, like a college volunteer handing out fliers for Howard Dean. (Months before Conan was released many close to the production believed it would open like last year's The Expendables.) As the release date approaches and the the tracking numbers start to fall, you start adjusting expectations, but always with a kind of desperate optimism. "I don't believe the polls," say the smiling candidates.

You hope that advertising and word of mouth will improve the numbers, and even as the numbers get tighter and the omens get darker, you keep telling yourself that things will turn around, that your guy will surprise the experts and pollsters. You stay optimistic. You begin selectively ignoring bad news and highlighting the good. You make the best of it. You believe.

In the days before the release, you get all sorts of enthusiastic congratulations from friends and family. Everyone seems to believe it will go well, and everyone has something positive to say, so you allow yourself to get swept up in it.

You tell yourself to just enjoy the process. That whether you succeed or fail, win or lose, it will be fine. You pretend to be Zen. You adopt detachment, and ironic humor, while secretly praying for a miracle.

The Friday night of the release is like the Tuesday night of an election. "Exit polls"are taken of people leaving the theater, and estimated box office numbers start leaking out in the afternoon, like early ballot returns. You are glued to your computer, clicking wildly over websites, chatting nonstop with peers, and calling anyone and everyone to find out what they've heard. Have any numbers come back yet? That's when your stomach starts to drop.

By about 9 PM its clear when your "candidate" has lost by a startlingly wide margin, more than you or even the most pessimistic political observers could have predicted. With a movie its much the same: trade magazines like Variety and Hollywood Reporter call the weekend winners and losers based on projections. That's when the reality of the loss sinks in, and you don't sleep the rest of the night.

For the next couple of days, you walk in a daze, and your friends and family offer kind words, but mostly avoid the subject. Since you had planned (ardently believed, despite it all) that success would propel you to new appointments and opportunities, you find yourself at a loss about what to do next. It can all seem very grim.

You make light of it, of course. You joke and shrug. But the blow to your ego and reputation can't be brushed off. Reviewers, even when they were positive, mocked Conan The Barbarian for its lack of story, lack of characterization, and lack of wit. This doesn't speak well of the screenwriting - and any filmmaker who tells you s/he "doesn't read reviews" just doesn't want to admit how much they sting.

Unfortunately, the work I do as a script doctor is hard to defend if the movie flops. I know that those who have read my Conan shooting script agree that much of the work I did on story and character never made it to screen. I myself know that given the difficulties of rewriting a script in the middle of production, I made vast improvements on the draft that came before me. But its still much like doing great work on a losing campaign. All anyone in the general public knows, all anyone in the industry remembers, is the flop. A loss is a loss.

But one thought this morning has lightened my mood:

My father is a retired trumpet player. I remember, when I was a boy, watching him spend months preparing for an audition with a famous philharmonic. Trumpet positions in major orchestras only become available once every few years. Hundreds of world class players will fly in to try out for these positions from all over the world. I remember my dad coming home from this competition, one that he desperately wanted to win, one that he desperately needed to win because work was so hard to come by. Out of hundreds of candidates and days of auditions and callbacks, my father came in....second.

It was devastating for him. He looked completely numb. To come that close and lose tore out his heart. But the next morning, at 6:00 AM, the same way he had done every morning since the age of 12, he did his mouthpiece drills. He did his warm ups. He practiced his usual routines, the same ones he tells his students they need to play every single day. He didn't take the morning off. He just went on. He was and is a trumpet player and that's what trumpet players do, come success or failure.

Less than a year later, he went on to win a position with the Los Angeles Philharmonic, where he played for three decades. Good thing he kept practicing.

So with my father's example in mind, here I sit, coffee cup steaming in its mug and dog asleep at my feet, starting my work for the day, revising yet another script, working out yet another pitch, thinking of the future (the next project, the next election) because I'm a screenwriter, and that's just what screenwriters do.

In the words of Ed Wood, "My next one will be BETTER!"





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Fogs
Fogs - 8/24/2011, 7:05 AM
That's why it flopped! he's republican!

Joking.


But may be true.
Fogs
Fogs - 8/24/2011, 7:06 AM
and... that was my first first?
villain001
villain001 - 8/24/2011, 7:06 AM
crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women
Fogs
Fogs - 8/24/2011, 7:07 AM
teabag - isn't that what you would say as well? lol
Fogs
Fogs - 8/24/2011, 7:08 AM
@villain001 LOL

MatchesMalone
MatchesMalone - 8/24/2011, 7:09 AM
This guy is very honest and open. It's refreshing to hear a filmmaker not be in denial.
TheStranger
TheStranger - 8/24/2011, 7:13 AM
movie flopped faster than whale shite
titansupes
titansupes - 8/24/2011, 7:16 AM
Very good statement. Refreshing, as MatchesMalone said. Usually the acotrs, producers and directors are all over the place then disappear once it's clear the movie isn't doing well (Don't mean to pick on this specifically, but Green Lantern seems the most recent example).
Forilaz
Forilaz - 8/24/2011, 7:24 AM
Really honest and sincere. I loved it.

Hollywood people never talk like that. I wish they did.
drfate
drfate - 8/24/2011, 7:25 AM
I've worked on movie productions and seen how things progress when its obvious that the movie is a flop. "They" know before a movie is released that it will not perform well. The truth is: movies provide jobs for people in the movie industry. Whether you are the lead actor or the key grip, for a few months, you've got a job. And that's how "bad" movies see the light of day. If the movie does well, then that's a bonus, and the lead actor or the key grip will get to eat for even more months!

Its a lot like your job. If you underperform one day, you may get scolded by a tyrannical boss, or cussed out by an irate customer, but you come back tomorrow. If you [frick] up too often, you get fired. If you're rock star on your job, you get the bonuses, the accolades, etc.

Mamoa will act again, somewhere. Nispel, I don't know, lol! But movies will get made, maybe even a Conan movie.
AGENTJAY1130
AGENTJAY1130 - 8/24/2011, 7:31 AM
I KNOW THATS RIGHT BRO!!! KEEP DOING WHAT YOU DO BEST IF YOU TRYED TO CHANGE IT AND IMPROVE THE SCRIPT AND THEY DIDNT LISTEN THEN THEY DROPED THE BALL!!! WHY HIRE SOMEONE TO DO A JOB IF YOUR NOT GOING TO LISTEN TO WHAT THEY WAS HIRED FOR!!! DUUUUU!!! IM GLAD YOU CLEARED THAT UP YOU GOT MY RESPECT!!!! F@#$K THAT DONT LET THEM BLAME YOU FOR SOMEONE ELES STUBBORNNESS!! IF THEY WORKED AS A TEAM THIS WOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED!!! NUFF SAID!!
Coloso
Coloso - 8/24/2011, 7:42 AM
What?^^^
AGENTJAY1130
AGENTJAY1130 - 8/24/2011, 7:52 AM
I would point the finger if my career was on the line and i know this was not my fault plus out of my hands!! It seem to me that he would like another shot at Conan and want to fix what was so utterly messed up!!! You only go down with your team when your team works together and be down for you!!
lalosuper3001
lalosuper3001 - 8/24/2011, 7:55 AM
Wow. He is a man of few words. I wonder how he REALLY feels. LOL.
But I went to see the movie despite the reviews. I liked it even though I never liked Jason Momoa as Conan. but A better costume, a bit more bulk or ripped and I am willing to watch a sequel, I guess.
AGENTJAY1130
AGENTJAY1130 - 8/24/2011, 8:00 AM
This movie was all over the place they kicked his work out and butchered the script! He was just trying to say it was not his fault what's wrong with that!!
Dedpool
Dedpool - 8/24/2011, 8:04 AM
Hey at least he's taking it with the same commitment any artist or anything would after a loss. get back on the horse and keep moving. Bravo! Wish someone would give Justin marks that kind of support.
RidiculousFanBoyDemands
RidiculousFanBoyDemands - 8/24/2011, 8:18 AM
@Dr.Fate you are 100% wrong with your analysis on the movie industry. Bad movies don't get made because it "provides people jobs in the movie industry."


What people tend to forget is every single movie you watch is an investment produced by a studio or a producer. There are very very few investments out there that yield returns like movies. Take the Dark Knight (I don't care if you love it or hate it), it had a budget -investment- of 185 million. The movie made over a billion dollars worldwide not including DVD and merchandise sales.

Even independent movies are investments on a smaller scale. The investment there is to put your heart, soul and money into a movie in hopes that a studio recognizes your talent so your next movie you won't have to self finance.

If a movie doesn't do well IE: Conan, it doesn't mean that it is the end of the line for the franchise or its actors. What it does mean is through the eyes of the studio execs. the lead actor and director aren't bankable, and it was bad investment on their part. I Would say writers, but they seem to get work no matter what.

The avengers is getting made because studios know people will turn out in droves to see it. Why do they know this, because they turned a profit on Thor, Iron Man, Captain America and to a lesser extent Hulk. If only Iron Man did well you would not see an avengers movie, because it would be a terrible investment.

phoe1
phoe1 - 8/24/2011, 8:29 AM
@Aklash
my very first thought as well, how great of a "professional writer" to alienate at least 50% of the readers right off the bat. hahahahaha

no seriously. if he has such high and noble aims why is he script doctoring? seriously, write something original and then try to get that made as opposed to "improve" on already failed projects. i know that this kind of work probably pays but then you know its gonna suck anyway - so just take it like a man - stand to your shitty movies that you work on to make the rent and keep working ur ass off on ur own stuff that will hopefully not blow as much as ur dad did all thru his life (sorry had to work that one in somewhere hahahah)

w8tng2die
w8tng2die - 8/24/2011, 8:31 AM
it is hard when your first day on the job the shit is well on it's way to the fan..
w8tng2die
w8tng2die - 8/24/2011, 8:33 AM
oh and love you avatar @phoe1
thatiscrazy
thatiscrazy - 8/24/2011, 8:44 AM
yeah, this is one of those movies that was crucified for no reason at all. Which Sucks! I really thinks critics have way to much power [frick]!Rottentomatoes
RidiculousFanBoyDemands
RidiculousFanBoyDemands - 8/24/2011, 8:45 AM
@thatiscrazy

If critics had too much power why are there three transformers movies? I just think people don't care about Conan.


RidiculousFanBoyDemands
RidiculousFanBoyDemands - 8/24/2011, 8:46 AM
have too much power* need an edit button.
marvel72
marvel72 - 8/24/2011, 9:08 AM
shame there isn't a video of the director & someone asking him why he thought the film is such a big flop.
DarrkEvil
DarrkEvil - 8/24/2011, 9:29 AM
hope it was better than gl..lol !
VictorHugo
VictorHugo - 8/24/2011, 9:46 AM
I´d rather play CONAN in my 30 year old APPLE II computer.
AGENTJAY1130
AGENTJAY1130 - 8/24/2011, 10:06 AM
@LoudLon I AGREE WITH YOU!!!
drfate
drfate - 8/24/2011, 10:07 AM
@RidiculousFanBoyDemands
Do you think actors, production assistants, directors etc. don't know that a movie is sucking balls while they're making it? They start off with good intentions and faith and money, but at a certain point, they realize, "what the hell are we doing?" By then, there is so much, as you say, investment, that they just keep going.

Like a bad marriage, you say, "I can't believe I married this bitch" but by then you've invested so much, you put in another 10 years "for the kids", or "maybe it'll get better", whatever. All that to say, "my" analysis is dead-on.

If you feel that a movie is a load of crap watching it, imagine how the people feel making it!
C0nan
C0nan - 8/24/2011, 10:19 AM
Both this guy and the writer should be hauled up in front of a firing squad and put to death.

All they had to do was knit together two or three Howard story lines and it would have been stellar. Instead they just HAD to turn it into another cheesy Hollywood revenge flick!
C0nan
C0nan - 8/24/2011, 10:23 AM
What bothers me most about this diatribe is that this guy tries to pass the buck. He's just as responsible as the director & writer.
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