(Movies fail at the box office, and many more fail to even find release into theaters. When one of these dead on arrival titles arrives on disc they go under the knife of the forensic video-examiner, all in the hope of determining the causes of death in the marketplace. Be forewarned any who wish to see the film – this piece is entirely a SPOILER.)
Years back a small horror title generated copious amounts of attention on the internet, becoming something of a sensation.
Grave Encounters, a found footage title about a ghost-hunting TV crew that actually found dangerous spirits, had its trailer viewed by more than 26 million viewers. And as has been the case in history, that internet buzz translated into . . . box office apathy.
For the sequel the directing tandem known as The Vicious Brothers, who created the original, turn the reins over to video and commercials expert John Poliquin to direct their story. What this becomes is a rather desperate attempt to convince us that the original film contained real events, and thus this is a document of the purported cover up.
GE-1 concerned events at a Maryland institution but was filmed at a Canadian location; that becomes the setting here, and the explanation of a cover-up. Everything folds into itself so much that the shooting script could have been an origami creation. Let’s wheel this disc into the examination room and see why it has passed over to the other side.
00:00:38 Septic Introduction The film opens with a variety of video-blog reviews of the initial film, from actual internet trolls. That is, with the exception of the final entry, who is the lead actor, Richard Harmon. He plays Alex, and he actually pans the first film – he declares it earned 1 out of 4 skulls. Watch that YouTube hit counter start rolling!
00:02:27 Diluted Tableau Next we are taken to an on-campus Halloween party, filled with assholes and skanks in costume, and we are guided by the supreme douche-nozzle of all, Trevor (played by the thespian Dylan Playfair). This is a film school and Trevor fills the role of the annoyance who records
everything. His being repulsive AND a pain in the ass to his friends means we look forward to Trevor becoming the cameraman who is always killed off in found-footage affairs.
00:03:44 Ruptured Visual Remember in
The Blair Witch Project when experts who supposedly found the recordings presumably felt we needed to see a scene of Heather urinating in the woods? Here we are given a shot of Trevor barging in and recording Alex as he is stroking himself to internet porn.
00:05:20 Weakened Impulse Convinced to join the party Alex gets drunk and starts rambling about the dismal state of modern horror films, barking to the crowd how he is a visionary.
A sullen loner who is obnoxiously pretentious, made more unlikeable by wearing a hideous woman’s costume -- Your hero, ladies and gents!
00:05:45 Ruptured Visual Trevor next gives us a close-up of Alex projectile vomiting into a toilet.
00:08:49 Iatrogenic Direction We get a glimpse at the horror movie Alex is currently filming. The self-proclaimed genius-visionary seems to be making a teen fright film from the 1950s.
00:16:10 Plot Stimulant Alex begins investigating the details of the original
Grave Encounters, receiving anonymous messages from the web on the film and becoming an obsessive on the production. Naturally this occurs with people who take a dismissive opinion of the film itself.
00:22:13 Blunt-Force Dialogue During an impromptu intervention over his new obsession Trevor mocks his roommate:
TREVOR:
I wake up to Rain Man, every morning. ALEX:
Rain Man was a [frick]ing genius! 00:26:15 Invasive Pathos After receiving a mysterious call sheet Alex flies to California to meet with the maker of the first film. Of course the producer, with numerous dark details to hide, agrees to spill his secrets, but only
after after Alex has an angry confrontation with the man on a soundstage.
00:27:36 Cauterized Plot Cavity The next day Alex outfits himself with a hidden camera for his meeting with Jerry Hartfield. For no clear reason the producer admits to everything, explaining to Alex that the first film was actually made from real footage. Jerry even spills that he could not reveal this to the public because of non-disclosure agreements – making his disclosure now to an anonymous college student all the more asinine.
00:28:29 Comedic Arrest Now the production tries to go full meta. Bizarrely Jerry takes Alex on a tour of the studio during which he introduces the actual directors. Jerry explains The Vicious Brothers are in fact just interns, labeled the "directors" as a legal obstacle. I don’t even know what is real anymore!!!
(Hint: Everything is utter bullshit.)
00:29:58 Continuity Failure While trying to convince his friends to join him to the asylum Trevor says to Alex, “
I’m not going to CANADA on some [frick]in’ wild goose chase!”
The import of this exchange is lost in the comedic reality that the Canadian actor Playfair says this line in a thick Canadian accent.
00:30:39 Weakened Impulse After they all tried to convince Alex to abandon his creepy obsession his four friends all join him to the Canadian asylum.
00:38:26 Cranial Atrophy After a run-in with a security guard the crew breaks into the asylum at night to begin filming. This means Alex and company believe the first film was real and the crew members actually died inside during production – so of course they feel it is a swell idea to enter and film things like the prior group.
00:41:24 Comedic Arrest The collegians have state-of-the art video equipment and tools at their disposal. They feel the optimum use of new-generation thermal imaging cameras is to capture Trevor farting in the dark.
00:47:40 Cliché” Malignancy After some squirrelly events the frightened crew wants to collect the cameras and flee the asylum. Of course in order to do so they need to split up.
00:56:13 Diluted Tableau As friends are killed the remaining members struggle to survive and find a way to escape the cavernous building. Like any potential survivor they continue filming everything they attempt.
00:58:20 Diluted Tableau Trevor gets attacked by a demonic entity. This was an arresting, shocking, heart-stopping event – you know, unless you happened to see the same demon featured in the key art on the DVD cover.
01:00:03 Weakened Impulse After finally escaping the asylum what do you suppose the remaining three members do? Call the authorities? Contact rescue workers to help their fallen friends? Nope, they go back to the hotel and pack up their gear.
01:00:57 Cauterized Plot Cavity With an entire third act remaining there is a need to get the survivors back inside the haunted building. Thus the hotel elevator opens and it has brought them back to the steam tunnels of the asylum.
Perfect! That was easy!
01:01:00 Continuity Failure As the doors opened we see their camera footage revealing they were brought back to the tunnels, however an edit to a security camera in the elevator shows nobody is filming at that moment.
01:01:15 Invasive Pathos As the students grapple with what the hell as happened – along with the audience -- Alex arbitrarily declares they were in the asylum all along and never at the hotel. This is contradicted by scenes of them walking the hallways via the hotel security video footage.
01:01:19 Cauterized Plot Cavity When asked to explain this daft theory Alex shrieks, “
What do you think I [frick]ing mean?! It’s what the building [frick]ing does!!!”
Done! No further explanation needed!
01:09:11 Plot Stimulant They next encounter a member from the first film, a disheveled psychotic living in the building. He spouts nonsense and raves about a large red door which is free standing and leads nowhere. In a film that strives for meta-relevancy this segment is a perfect metaphor for itself.
01:13:38 Iatrogenic Direction I suppose when you make a film that borrows a premise from
Blair Witch 2, repeats methods from
[REC], and is derivative of numerous other verite’ productions, then outright stealing the recorded sleeping sequence from
Paranormal Activity is not as major an infraction.
01:15:07 Ruptured Visual Trevor awakens and decides to record a farewell video message to his family in case he doesn’t survive. His heart-rending moment was filmed while seated inside a bathroom stall.
01:16:49 Visual Adrenal Infusion Trevor finally gets eliminated, and now his family is assured of seeing his toilet bowl will-and-testament.
01:25:17 Arrested Physics We learn through mystical wall graffiti (don’t ask) that the presence occupying the asylum wants the movie completed and the video footage gathered. So these demons are little more than L.A.-waiter / fame whores?!
01:25:01 Ruptured Visual During a lengthy scene Alex and Jennifer hide in a closet and witness a vision from the past involving a disturbing medical procedure. During this pointlessness they make a noise and one nurse approaches their position, morphing before their eyes. This may be a scary moment – it all depends on your opinion of ghoulish pandas.
01:30:39 Weakened Impulse As the psychotic cast member tries to appease the demons (which now operate the floating cameras) a portal opens up on a wall and swallows the guy. Alex learns that in order to finish the film he must be the lone survivor and release the movie, at the bidding of the building.
He next kills Jennifer, the actress he has been infatuated with since the start. He bludgeons her with a camera. I think this MAY have been intended as a metaphor, but that seems beyond the reach of this production.
01:33:19 Collapsed Climax We get an interview with Jerry Hartfield and Alex, touting the sequel to
Grave Encounters. They attempt to inform us the film we just watched is real.
Of course, this means that Alex has now released a film with actual deaths of actual people who must be thought as missing by somebody. Then there is the small matter of Alex releasing a film which depects him committing homicide on camera -- to say nothing of his willingness to show us that shot of him masturbating in his dorm.
POST MORTEM While there is a need to salute the effort not repeat the efforts of the first film at the same time you have to point out repeating the efforts of numerous OTHER found-footage titles.
The biggest problem of all is that this movie seems to actually be more in love with the original
Grave Encounters than the viewing public in general. The end result is a movie being made not for a demand from audiences but for the entertainment of those who were making it.
How’s that for meta?!