Screw John Carter, Traci Lords Is: A Princess Of Mars

Screw John Carter, Traci Lords Is: A Princess Of Mars

Here is the trailer for Asylum's latest masterpiece of the bargain bin, based on the very same stories from Edgar Rice Burroughs that we will see soon on the big screen in John Carter Of Mars.

By MarkCassidy - Nov 24, 2009 05:11 PM EST
Filed Under: John Carter of Mars
Source: io9.com

Since Edgar Rice Burroughs' books are public domain, Asylum(Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus, Transmorphers: Fall of Man) is free to create their own take on the story. here they cast everyone's favorite ex porn star Traci Lords as Deja Thoris(Who will be played by Lynn Collins in the big movie) and shift main focus away from John Carter, who I assume is supposed to be the big muscle bound eejit in the clip. They even manage to slip an Avatar reference in there!



Rorschach01: Well, I'd watch it anyway!

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LEEE777
LEEE777 - 11/24/2009, 5:26 PM
TRACI LORDS for the WHITE QUEEN! : P
PhillyHulk
PhillyHulk - 11/24/2009, 5:28 PM
funny as shit ror
LEEE777
LEEE777 - 11/24/2009, 5:28 PM
Damn lol!!
PhillyHulk
PhillyHulk - 11/24/2009, 5:29 PM
antonio and traci = oscar
TheDemonHunter
TheDemonHunter - 11/24/2009, 5:33 PM
*blinks, shakes head, walks away while facepalming*

How does this stuff ever get financial backing to be made....
Joe6Pack74
Joe6Pack74 - 11/24/2009, 5:41 PM
SWEET! I love a good B-movie.
selinakyle
selinakyle - 11/24/2009, 5:41 PM
wtf was that?
PhillyHulk
PhillyHulk - 11/24/2009, 5:42 PM
the same way way all those crappy videogame movies get made, I know the dude that made bloodrayne once said he makes more money if the movie doesnt do well, i have no clue how that is but thats what the man said
selinakyle
selinakyle - 11/24/2009, 5:51 PM
huh? wonder how that works.
GUNSMITH
GUNSMITH - 11/24/2009, 5:53 PM
I REMEMBER WHEN SHE USE TO DO PORN.
Wiredwizard
Wiredwizard - 11/24/2009, 5:58 PM
Definitely on my to-watch list.

@PhillyHulk & MsKyle08 - watch the movie The Producers - the process of making money from a flop is the basis for the movie. =)
answer
answer - 11/24/2009, 6:13 PM
You sure this isn't actually a porno? It looks as bad as one! ;)
MarkCassidy
MarkCassidy - 11/24/2009, 6:18 PM
Porn can never be bad my friend!:)

But yeah, it looks awful. I do have a tolerance for these movies though, because they don't claim to be anything else. Fun can be had.
selinakyle
selinakyle - 11/24/2009, 6:39 PM
i think im addicted to CBM.
answer
answer - 11/24/2009, 7:13 PM
I think you are right Ror!! I'm away for some quality checks right now!
wolfmanremington
wolfmanremington - 11/24/2009, 8:15 PM
Is it just me, or is Traci Lords wearing a Princess Leia Slave Girl outfit? lol I love the epic dialogue in this trailer. "AHHHHHHHHHHH!" I'm pretty sure even John Logan couldn't write a line that good! lol :-P
selinakyle
selinakyle - 11/24/2009, 9:08 PM
lmaooo @ "AHHHHHHHH".
Shaman
Shaman - 11/25/2009, 5:33 AM
LEEE- Rootin' tootin' shootin' there partner ;)

Traci Lords for White Queen in X4!!!










GUNSMITH
GUNSMITH - 11/25/2009, 5:36 AM
I CAN SEE ANTHONY SABATO PLAYING MR. SINISTER
Shaman
Shaman - 11/25/2009, 5:40 AM
Gunsmith- Actually he has the perfect facial features for him, yes! BUT my favorite will always be Keith David! No one matches his deep voice and sinister smile!!!

Keith David for Mr. Sinister in X4!!!










TheJester
TheJester - 11/25/2009, 6:33 AM
and Traci can take it in the back door without a flinch.
comicb00kguy
comicb00kguy - 11/25/2009, 7:27 AM
This will probably be a better interpretation of the original story than John Carter will be. And it has Traci Lords. This is definitely on my must-watch list.

Agreed that Lords would make an awesome Emma Frost. She could bring a whole new meaning to XXX-Men.
superdog
superdog - 11/25/2009, 7:46 AM
better looking than avatar. this movie will change film making forever!!!!!
Shaman
Shaman - 11/25/2009, 8:27 AM
Princess of Mars will be the sole reason why Avatar will not come even close to breaking even with it's budget ;P
DeathWalker
DeathWalker - 11/25/2009, 8:33 AM
I am so there........where ever it is.
Betty
Betty - 11/25/2009, 8:53 AM
Haha, I actually like some of the creatures.
Shaman
Shaman - 11/25/2009, 9:25 AM
Traci Lords is the hottest of the creatures!!! :P
LEEE777
LEEE777 - 11/25/2009, 10:27 AM
SHAMAN @ ; )
Stumblin
Stumblin - 11/25/2009, 11:26 AM
This movie looks hilarious!
Shaman
Shaman - 11/26/2009, 6:10 AM
Anil dude, we need to get together and hunt for chicks! You have the same taste as me(until proven wrong of course)!!! LOL :P
Jimdlux
Jimdlux - 12/15/2009, 9:01 AM
Classic Sci-fi adventure?!?! Never heard of it...
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