There is one thing in the comic book movie universe that seems to incense fans world wide when somebody finally decides to make the jump to the big screen, the dreaded retcon. Perhaps you're not familiar with this term, we doubt it here at SuperHeroStuff.Com, but for the sake of consistency retconning is the 'art' of rewriting a previously canonical part of the story line to fit whatever purpose is best at the moment. These little bumps to screenwriters are enough to send even the most passive fan into overdrive. Look at how many people freaked out when they announced Heath Ledger was the Joker, everybody thought it was going to be '10 Things I Hate About You' the sequel. Now, this isn't really a retcon, but it shows that people take their comic concepts to a near fanatical level and even the mild threat of a change is heavily scrutinized. While preparing this list, we noticed that there is more retconning in the Marvel Movie universe so maybe you guys can help us a little bit here! So, without further time wasted, let us just jump right into our brand new list for you guys. SuperHeroStuff.Com’s most hated movie retconning! (Overly dramatic music)
Well, our first section was really a couple but I decided to condense it so that this article wouldn't turn into 'Why Wolverine Origins was the worst movie ever'. There were so many little things that made this movie such a glaring slap in the face to Wolverine fans. We'll start with the minor details; The Blob. We here at SHS were under the impression that the Blob was actually a mutant whose power was based on his 'protective karate blubber'. Unfortunately for the movie, The Blob decided to go all emo and crawl into a 100 gallon cylinder of Hagan Das when Logan left him high and dry. So instead of an unstoppable mutant, we have somebody with an eating disorder and a problem with co-dependency. Talk about stealing the wind out of somebody's sails! Speaking of stealing the wind from somebody; poor Gambit. Now, I am a Gambit fan and I knew they were going to butcher the character, but sweet mercy children of the internet. No accent, no confidence and about two minutes of screen time (which was probably only 10 seconds off the trailer). The biggest thumbed nose to you Wolverine fans? The adamantite bullet. There was once a song that said love is a bullet from me to you, straight to the heart; but this one should've killed. We all know that Wolverine lost his memory after the adamantite grafting, the mental anguish and physical pain would've killed anybody else, but all it did to Logan was make him feral and without his mind. In the movie though he just wakes up pissed off. The Adamantite bullet seemed a little bit too close to the story of the Werewolf and I'm sure you guys did a face palm that'll echo across the ages. Poor, poor Wolverine!
Speaking of bad ass characters that hadn't the proper justice done to them, VENOM! The whole origins of Venom in Spiderman involve 'it' crashing out of the sky. Now, I'm not going to pick where Venom came from because there is different versions, but I'm pretty sure that it wasn't that straightforward. They might as well had Spiderman snatch the suit out of one of those costume machines (which is actually closer to one of the origin versions then it just falling out of the sky). Another major beef is that the Eddie Brock was a skinny little man, and not that the ripped out rage-a-holic that I’m sure you guys have become ever so fond of.
Now, we really should have an entire article based on the Fantastic Four, but we've decided to have cherry pick on some annoying little caveats that seems to span both movies. Dr. Doom as the Dark Lord of the Sith! Oh wait, am I getting my movies confused? I'm pretty sure Dr. Doom was hurling force lightning like it was going out of style, like he was engaged in a duel to the death with Yoda and not the Fab Four. Living Armor? Hell, they might as well have rewritten the whole bloody thing and just said 'loosely based on concepts created by Marvel involving four people'. You guys see the weather today? Slightly chilly with some slight Galactus in the air today will give way to a nice, boring evening. Galactus was a freakin’ cloud, people! A CLOUD. Did the screenwriters even bother looking at any of the Fantastic Four background? Galactus goes from scourge of the universe embodied to the last plague of Egypt. Neat.
The Hulk can't even really catch a break. He's always pissed, and nobody seems to like anything that is done to him on the silver screen. If I was Bruce Banner, I would probably just crawl into a hole and die. Especially if Nick Nolte is added as your father, then made into some weird version of Absorbing Man, and then some bizarre connection involving gamma radiation and children. That's like a trifecta of retconning that results in a congealed mass vomited back into our eyes. Maybe that was a bit too detailed and spite filled, but it does sound really cool! Kaleidoscope of mind numbing stupidity would probably fit better. Looking back, had they casted Gary Busey in Nick Nolte's spot, I may have been willing to forgive the pure crazy sauce. Hulk should've smashed that part of the script!